Wide Open Space

2002-06-11T01:48:00.000-04:00

.:: fixed up my old blog ::.

arightee, well i got tired of blogspot cuz its a super-mondo biatch SO, i'm going back to pitas.. to read my new blog click here i added a new entry about graduation already n i don't have all my links n cliquez up but jux bare with me ^^ bweeee, that's it

2002-06-07T22:14:00.000-04:00

.:: jux random isht ::.

You have high standards for yourself, and try desperately to live up to them. But when you are unable to reach those goals, you fall into a deep depression. People see you as a brilliant person, yet inside, you are full of self-doubt and fear of failure. You need to set more reasonable goals.

Your song is: About to Crash

Which degree of inner turbulence are you?

This quiz was made by Dionae
i don't think this could be anymore true than it is...

and another...

'What kind of Wing
are you?' by. Xera

mayn.. that sux :P

2002-06-06T14:24:00.000-04:00

.:: my parents are fighting ::.

they practically never fight but last night, my mom was talking to my dad about something like taxes or paying bills and my dad just replied all cold and said that she had given our accountant the power of authority over something... i can tell he's still being cold.. she's talking on the phone with him right now and she takes these long pauses and she says something "then why don't u go call her?"... arg, i hate it when my parents fight.. its usually over something really dumb too... n tonight is the awards ceremony n saturday is graduation... they shouldn't be fighting right now.. blah...

oh yah, can't go to toki's today tho i really really want to... i dun have the time... if i rush it, i'll definitely be late for baccalaureate.. :P *sigh* the ceremony's gonna be SO long... so yah, that's it.. i'll blog laterz..

2002-06-05T19:43:00.000-04:00

.:: arg ::.

You're Glass Dama!

You're one of Ri-chan's favourite songs.
Quiet and understated, your song and melody seem lost
and hopeless until the middle, where you come in at
full volume and shock us all with all you really have to
say. Just like your lyrics suggest, you are a very
overlooked song, just words into the silence,
but one day you'll have your time to shine.

What Little-Known L'arc~en~Ciel Song are You?

as i have no idea what that song is...lalala... SO, yes, i am mooching off lez's blog today... survey time!

*gonna warn u.. this shizzle is long*

Name: Christine
Do you like it?: not at all.. that's why no one calls me christine
Nicknames: Enciso, Akio, C2, tin-tin, tin-teena, kateena
Screen names: Filodiva19.. this is the ONLY sn i've ever had
Age: i'm 18... legal n in my prime
Birthday: 1.19
Sign: stubborn n domineering capricorn
Location: Freehold... don't ask just smile n nod
School: next year.. Boston University's school of management.. WOO!
Status: "my ass is lonely... just my ass..." ~quote from last night's yakuza chat (single, babeh.. come n get it!)
Crush: just gym guy...
Virgin?: yesh i am :P
Natural hair color: black or really really really dark brown
Current hair color: look above
Eye color: dark dark brown
Height: bout 5'8"
Birthplace: Edison NJ
Shoe size: i'ma 10.. woo!
Bra size: 38C.. the weirdest size ever since its not even in victoria secret

[ family ]
Parents: got two of em.. mama enciso n daddy enciso
Siblings: one dork of a brother, john august, 26
Live with: my parents in a large house
Favorite relative: my gay cousin david

[ favorites ]
Number: me likie 137
Color: orange n chrome
Day: i like saturdays
Month: december, i'm not sure why
Song: eh, no i don't... it changes like everyday.. right now its Fallout
Movie: Dead Poets Society
Food: EASY MAC! LOL just kidding.. i like italian shizzle.. me likie sushi
Band: iunno.. dun reallie have one
Season: Winter n fall
Drink: diet coke babeh.. caramel frappz, creme soda
Veggie: i like freshwater chestnuts tho i'm not sure if they're vegetables
TV Show: i like watching an HBO series
Radio Station: 105.1 is okay
Store: nowadays, i'm liking DEB n rampage
Word: disconbobulated
Animal: tiger tiger tiger... they're GREEEAAAAA-T!
Flower: white roses.. sampaguitas
State: um iunno LOL

[ this or that ]
Me/You: me, bitch.. bow down!
Coke/Pepsi: hrm.. lyk pepsi better than coke but like diet coke better than diet pepsi :P
Day/Night: nighty-night... i'ma vampire XD
AOL/AIM: i like AIM..
CD/Cassette: cdz definitely
DVD/VHS: DVD's definitely
Jeans/Khakis: jeans which i only recently started wearing on a regular basis
Car/Truck: Car... *beep beep* DUDE, i totally talked to my car today.. *i'll blog about it later-ish*
Tall/Short: me tall... u tall.. lalala-tall
Lunch/Dinner: me likie dinner.. lunch is kinda a hassle
NSYNC/BSB: eh.. die die die
Britney/Christina: look above
Gap/Old Navy: old navy cuz i'ma cheap bastard
Lipstick/Lipgloss: gloss, babeh.. mayn, i have like 50 lip glosses
Silver/Gold: silver
Alcohol/Weed: Alcohol... never tried weed..

[ love and relationships ]
Do you have a bf/gf: nopers
Do you have a crush?: yesh, gym guy.. i didn't see his round n grab-able ass today
How long have you liked him/her?: hrm.. six months is it? my god
Why do you likelove this person?: "Cuz he's fuckin hot" <~~ amen, lez
If you're single... why are you single?: "Because guys don't like me ;.;" <~~ once again amen, sister
If you're not single... give details? -
How long was your longest relationship?: can we stop talking about this?
How long was your shortest relationship?: don't make me take out my glock
Who was your first true love?: i warned u...
What do you miss about them?: *glocks ur dumb ass to hell*

[ the past ]
What is the one thing you would change about your past?: moving away from edison
What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: god if i kno
Last thing you heard: Fallout- Luna Sea
Last thing you saw: a piece of fried chicken that is no longer
Last thing you said: "thank you" to the dude who filled up my gas tank
Who is the last person you saw?: my dad.. he looked pissed cuz my room wasn't the cleanest
Who is the last person you kissed?: hrm.. i think it was amanda (on the cheek goodbye)
Who is the last person you hugged?: definitely govan saying goodbye
Who is the last person you fought with?: hrm... prolly ghost cuz we have random quarrels
Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: i actually have no idea
What is the last TV show you saw?: hrm... part of seinfield at the gym
What is the last movie you saw?: Where THe Heart Is.. that movie with natalie portman being super-white-trash
What is the last song you heard?: Fallout damnit

[ the present ]
What are you wearing?: black shelf bra camisole n grey sweatpants
What are you doing?: filling out this damn survey.. wtf did u think i was doing, bitch?
Who are you talking to?: ice, christina, ghosto, n toki
What song are you listening to?: MY GOD.. HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES-.. okay, enciso, breaaatthhheee *takes a deep breath*
Where are you?: in the office at my daddy's compie
Who are you with?: ish jux me
Are you online?: yesh i am
How are you feeling?: okay.. kinda... there
Are you in a chatroom?: nopers but i am chatting with numerous people

[ future ]
What day is it tomorrow?: shit if i know... oh, thursday
What are you going to do after this?: blog blog blog
Who are you going to talk to?: iunno.. ppl who are talking to me? wtf is up with these dumbass questions?
Where are you going to go?: down the fucking toilet.. bite me
How old will you be when you graduate?: 18.. i graduate in 2 days
What do you wanna be?: some successful business woman with concubines n a shitload of money
What is one of your dreams?: finding my soulmate (okay, that's dumb but i'm girly sometimes)
Where will you be in 25 years?: i have no idea.. hopefully not dead

[ have you ever ]
Drank?: of course!
Smoked?: yesh.. this afternoon actually.. 4 sticks
Had sex?: naw.. i'm immaculate
Stolen?: yuppers, i used to be a clepto
Done anything illegal?: well since i answered yes to half the things above, YES
Wanted to die?: oh yesh
Hit someone?: just playfully

[ other ]
Do you write in cursive or print?: print.. all caps.. people are AMAZED by it
Are you a lefty or a righty?: righty
What is your sexual preference?: hetro-here. i lyk guys too much
What piercings do you have?:jux in my ears-es
Do you drive?: yesh i do
Do you have glasses or braces?: i have contacts
Did you like this survey?: its super-long n asks annoying questions so no

[ physical appearance ]
What do you most like about your body?: the part of my back where it curves in toward my booty.. (that's odd but its the only part of my body i don't wanna change)
And least?: my calves.. damn the enormity
How many fillings do you have?: oh god.. like 12?
Do you think you're good looking?: yesh i do.. i'm sexy as hell
Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?: yesh but often its from the wrong people
Do you look like any celebrities?: no.. trina's sister said i looked like aaliyah in one pic but that's it

[ fashion ]
Do you wear a watch?: no i don't
How many coats and jackets do you own?: oh god.. hrm.. like 10
Favorite pants/skirt color?: me likie black
Most expensive item of clothing?: i have no fucking idea
Most treasured?: article of clothing-wise? hrm.. the jacket trina bought me back in the day
What kind of shoes do you wear?: usually my bulky skechers or my fake timbs... but dressy-wise i like stillettos
Describe your style in one word: individual

i think i now have menopause.. that was the LONGEST-ASS SURVEY EVER.. OMG.. LOL another one.. hit it!:

Name four bad habits you have:
1) "Using tissues an then leavin them on my nightstand in balls X.x" <~~~ SAME HERE, TOKI-CHU!!!
2) sleeping at 4AM then getting up at like 3PM everyday
3) leaving dishes next to my computer
4) not taking out my contacts when i sleep ><;;

Name four scents you love:
1) cashmere mist WHICH I STILL DON'T HAVE..
2) armani de agua (something like that) for guys
3) good life
4) that rich chocolate smell

Name four things you'd never wear:
1) anything with pockadots
2) a thong bikini
3) anything hot pink
4) any teeny-boppers shirt or shorts that say stupid shit like "princess" or "brat"

Name four television shows you love:
1) Invader Zim
2) sex in the city
3) Whose Line Is It Anyway
4) "OZ" <==== amen sister

Name four bands/groups most people don't know you like:
1) Luna Sea
2) Larc n Ciel
3) um...
4) .... that's it

Name four drinks you regularly drink:
1) diet coke, babeh
2) water
3) OJ
4) coffee

Name four random facts about yourself:
1) my abs hurt like a bitch
2) my hair grew long in like one month
3) my initials are CAME
4) i don't have my rag

Name four random facts about your family:
1) my dad's a dork
2) my mom's a nurse
3) my brother's 26 and he still hasn't finished school
4) i only have one other cousin on my dad's side living in the tri-state area

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MY GOD.. this has to have been the longest time i have been doing a survey in my entire history online :P aright, so bloggy blog tym..

so yah, let's see.. hrm.. (trying to track backwards and i can't think straight).. okay, sunday, i went to mass with my dad. it had to have been the longest mass ever cuz the priest just kept on rambling about everything.. UGH.. blah.. SO, yesh, then we go to attilios n buy mucho much the food.. it was good times... SO, let's see... money... woke up.. iunno, sometime... went to the gym.. i saw gym guy... ooo, yummy... then i picked up trina n we went to pines.. some scary dudes asked trina if she was indonesian.. it was odd.. then we came back home and watched Driven with the dude that made out with rufio in But I'm A Cheerleader.. and we ended up laughing for like five years at the credits.. yesh, we're odd when its late (this was like 4AM) so then we went to sleep... tuesday, we woke up around like 12.. i lost my right contact when i fell asleep so my site was kinda lopsided until my mom came home with boxes of my contacts.. thank god they arrived yesterday... then we went to sam's club... i got my pics from ice's bbq back.. mayn, they're crazy ><;; lol all good.. then i went to the gym... some random white guy that works there came up to me and started asking me questions and i was just like "um, yah" cuz he wasn't that cute (god i am so superficial).. YES, it is GREAT.. and some guy in a yankees shirt kept following me around.. cute tho *yum* hrm... today, i woke up quasi-early to go to graduation practice... me n trina were late, of course... so i walk in n it takes forever n i reallie wanna just scream at everyone in our school.. erf, oh well.. SO, yah then after practice, me, trina, govan, jordan, amanda, and kristyn all roll over to perkins.. after we ate, we sat outside and talked about sex for FOUR HOURS.. i swear.. it was like a real-life sex in the city.. it was great. then i went home and took a nap.. and then i went to the gym... nothing really interesting happened.. the usual guys were looking at me.. bla bla bla... its monotonous now.. whutever... and here i am blogging about nothing and everything... and that's it.. gotta go read Fate bai!

2002-06-04T01:43:00.000-04:00

.:: ahhhhh!!! sorrie lez! ::.

i'm ryuichi ><;;

Which Luna Sea Member Are You? quiz
is part of LS Amusement Park, LUNA SEA ENTERPRISE

2002-06-02T22:21:00.000-04:00

.:: lalala ::.

Find your emotion!

aright, i got this first but i don't think it really suits me since i'm a pessimistic bitch and a half...

got this the second tym...

Find your emotion!

You are 50% evil! [?]

You? Evil? Half way there! You're 50%, meaning you can't always be trusted...well, half of the time! You're the perfect balance between good and evil, but being that much evil isn't always good...

well, considering how much i get from girls, i'd hafta say that this is a good sign:

How Gay Are YOU? [?]

and well.. yah....

Which Kiss Are You?

and a survey for ur viewing pleasure..

1. My name is -- christine aka akio aka enciso
2. I may seem like -- a stuck-up bitch/ 25-year-old/ has-had-sex-n-then-some/ independent-type woman
3. But I'm really -- an 18-year-old inexperienced girl who like everyone and constantly thinks of sex
4. People who know me think I'm -- sex-ay! XD lol no.. um, caring n easy to talk to
5. If you knew me you'd probably -- think that i need to get neutered
6. Sometimes I feel -- like a nut.. sometimes i don't! just kidding.. um, yah..
7. In the morning I -- am deep in slumberland
8. I like to sleep -- with a body pillow n in my undies
9. If I could be doing anything right now I would be -- anything besides sitting here.. unfortunately...........
10. Money is -- my best friend.
11. One thing I wish I had is -- some ass.. GODDAMNIT THIS SF-NESS
12. One thing I have that I wish I didn't is -- allergies... blah
13. All you need is -- lovveeeee... naw, that's so corny.. all u need is sex, money, n food lalala
14. All I need is -- sleep blah
15. If I had one wish it would be -- to have many more wishes
16. Love is -- something i haven't experienced with another person besides my family
17. My body -- is slowly getting better
18. If an angel flew into my window at night I would -- ask it how god was doing
19. If a demon crashed into my window I would -- ask it how lucifer is hanging
20. If I could see one person right now it would be -- teddy.. i miss his ass
21. Something I want but I don't really need is -- ass
22. Something I need but I don't really want is -- studiousness
23. I live for -- myself FUCK YOU ALL
24. I dare you all to -- be an individual
25. I am afraid of -- spiders and death
26. It makes me angry when -- people who don't know how to drive are driving
27. I dream about -- random shit.. its great
28. I daydream about -- u don't even want to kno...

2002-06-02T02:45:00.000-04:00

.:: damn my lazy ass ::.

arightee, two days in a row, i skipped going to the gym.. blah.. i'm getting lazy n its only been two days after school ended ><;; so yah, today, i woke up around 12.. i have no idea what time i feel asleep.. my parents don't even bother waking me up early anymore cuz they kno i'm just gonna end up going back to sleep anyway.. SO, yah i get up n do a buncha crunches and other ab exercises ><;; enciso = health freak.. (tho i eat like i'm bulimic minus the regurgitation(sp?) and smoke :P) but yah, then i watched... something, iunno... i ordered pizza n ate lalala... so yah, i ended up being quasi late to meet up with lez cuz hey, i'm me.. i'm always late.. :P so hrm.. toki calls me up like the second i leave my house (i was on the way to a drug store to pick up some stoges) n then she's like "i'm here already!" so i freak out n i speed all the way to edison... unfortunately, every slow-ass dim-witted i-don't-know-how-to-drive-over-the-speed-limit-in-the-left-lane driver decided to be right in front of me.. UGH *kicks those shitty-shouldn't-be-allowed-on-any-major-highway drivers* so anyway, yah... i get to pines n i pull into the parking lot.. i was looking for lez's car (which i had no idea what it looked like) and i pull into a spot close to pines.. SO, i turn of my car and i see ghost n toki waving frantically at me from across the parking lot (its not a very big parking lot, btw) and they laugh at me cuz i parked across the parking lot from them and they were all like "yah, cuz akio's too cool to look around while she's driving... with her sunglasses and her hand all up on the steering wheel".. i was like --;; so yah, we head into the bakery and talk forever while having ice pops and then i organize my bag just cuz i felt like it... i ended up polishing like everything with my "super-cloth" (a cloth i bought when i bought my ray-bans way back that's supposed to be the ONLY thing u can use to clean ur ray-bans.. too bad they were ugly and my mom uses them now) SO, i ended up cleaning my stoge case, my sunglasses, my lighter, shit everything.. then toki goes off on how akio would polish his gun all the time n talk to it lyk "my baby.. who loves you?" --;; so yah, after chilling in the bakery, we headed down to the sushi place not far from there and ate some sushi... toki had some cucumber rolls (cuz she's allergic to seafood) and ghost had some unagi (eel rolls) n i had alaska rolls (tuna/salmon) n then we both had yellowtail scallion rolls... it was good times.. of course the whole time we were talking about yakuza.. pretending that we were in the dragonleaf.. ><;; *sigh* talking about ghost is reallie nothing like ghost but rather she's a part of every yakuza... and toki's like toki... n i'm like akio... ghost was saying something (can't remember what) and i was like "shit, akio takes whatever comes at him".. and then toki's like "man, akio takes whutever is sexy.. cuz he actually has standards... you little spoiled brat" arg, akio = spoiled brat... lol oh well "spoiled isn't even the word" ~from an old blog entry~ SO, yah, we finished up in the sushi place then we went to the pool hall... we walked in n we all said anyounghaesayo to mr. lee.. we take a table n start playing... me n ghost play first.. i lost, i believe.. yah, i hit in the black ball or something :P so yah, then there's this quasi-buff korean guy who walks in with this girl.. he's got nice arms.. yucky stomach tho.. blech.. SO yah, he kept looking over at us as he played with this girl he was with... oopsie LOL so yah, after one game, i finally got my groove.. i was playing pretty decently by the end... also, this white guy in the corner kept looking at us ><;; aiyah.. n this hot guy in plaid came in with a girl n he kept looking at us everytime she tried to take a shot ><;; man, we're distracting.. us sexy-ass yakuza PWUAHAHAHA lol.. ohhhh, a decent looking guy came in with orange ufo's.. ugh, i wanted to bite him just cuz he was wearing them... *growl* oh yah, as ghost n lez were playing, i went back to the bakery to get ice pops n this group of oldish korean guys (like prolly mid to late 20's) were standing outside n they like watched me as i walked passed and then again when i was going back.. i was like --;; SO, yah, it was a lotta fun... i won the last game and i played DAMN GOOD that time man... i was so proud... hey, i finally made good donut holes with smoke woohoo.. LOL so yah, ghost n toki kept fondling me.. XD n toki licked me at one point :P then ghost started rubbing the pool stick on my leg and i was like WOO! n i go "stop it, ur getting me aroused" and then they both laugh for like forever... lol they thought that was so funny.. n toki kept rubbing up against me (toki, u hornball) so the end or whutever, i won and i licked toki's cheek ><;; hey, i owed her one... so we chilled outside at toki's car for a little while... n she made me give her a lapdance.. it was weird cuz she was in a car and that doesn't constitute lapdance-with-ease.. so yah, then toki gave me one... she's damn good yo, LOL.. all into it n shit... XD nast-ayyyy ^^;; so yah, then me n ghost took forever trying to figure out what to do.. OH! i remember getting outta my car to call someone and this big group of korean guys rolled up in some silver car n they all looked at me at the same time and i was like BAM! shot my akio-bedroom-eyes stare at them.. take that, boys.. XD so yah, we ended up driving around 27 and then i had to turn around before i hit 18 north.. so we pull onto some one way street and we got quasi-lost ><;; but we ended up on 27 again in no time.. we called diane in the process... oh yah, we also had nothing to do cuz everyone was busy ><;; ice was stuck at home, kelvin just got back from a grad and was tired, and chomi wasn't picking up her phone, diane was sleepy, had no idea where ray was, and phil was off getting drunk at a bbq... SO, yah, we were stuck doing nothing... so i call my brother considering that i could prolly go n visit him... but he didn't pick up his phone either.. so by the time we get back to pines n hang out, he calls me back... SO, we head over to my brother's place n we eat chicken nuggets and talk about college and anime and movies n watched Final Fantasy the movie.. OMG, my brother showed me this thing from the DVD where the characters from the movie do michael jackson's thriller dance.. i was SO funny... so yah, we hung out there.. oh! my brother also said he might be able to take us to otakon (an anime convention in baltimore) so YES! ^^ yakuza meet-up, baby! ^_____________^ hehe, gab, here we come! arightee, well yah, so then we left.. n here i am blogging and my dad just yelled at me for being late (since i told him i was going to be home late ><;;) oops.. oh well.. that's it, i'll blog tomorrow, i guess..

2002-05-31T23:56:00.000-04:00

.:: blurb-bee-blurb ::.

yah, so yesterday, i woke up to take my english final.. blah... it was so depressing.. having to get up and actually go to school again... so i pulled on my wretched uniform one last time and drove to school... i was supposed to study a little bit before class but i ended up just talking and complaining about having to take the final.. n so we get to palmer's class.. i took the final.. i think i got like a 99 on the objective n then the essay was a super-mondo bitch.. but hey, i pulled through it then i left after getting my prom pictures.. went home n then i went to sleep till like 3... then my mom and i went to go graduation dress shopping.. i ended up buying two dresses from rampage... they were both $50 each but it was buy one and get the second half off so i bought two and they ended up being $36 dollars each.. not bad, right? so yah... one is white and super-hoochie (that's gonna be graduation dress ><;;) but it looks good so yay.. the other is black n tannish with cool designs (i just bought it cuz i should have more dresses) but yah, so they're both tube dresses ><;; i think i've been attached to those... so yah.. that was cool.. then i got home and my parents talked about college while we ate chinese food n stuff... so yah, i left to go meet up with phil n them at pines... i got there quasi-late cuz my parents were talking so long.. so yah.. it was a big group of us.. me, phil, ice, kelvin, jd, aldo, mike, n mark... i was the only girl.. :P oh well.. so yah, we played pool.. i sucked at first but when i teamed up with phil, i hit like every ball.. phill got in lyk two.. ended up winning cuz kelvin scratched before getting in the eight ball.. :P but we were only one ball away from winning anyway so blah.. yah, it was fun... phil was amazed at my cigarette case.. i'm so proud of it... ^^ lalala... so yah, i go up to the counter and i buy a frappucino n i was paying for it.. so the old guy at the counter (who i always see and say "anyounghaesaeyo" to) is getting my change and he goes "highschool?" and he's fob so i wasn't sure what he said so i was like "highschool?" just making sure that i got what he asked right.. and he nodded and i was like "yah, i'm in highschool" so then he has this writing pad in front of him and he draws an 11 and he's like "eleven?" in his fob accent again.. and i assumed that he was asking what grade i was in.. and i was like "12." and he was like "ohhh, 12" and then he corrects the 11 and puts a 12.. and i just smiled though i had no idea what was going on.. :P so yah, he gave me my change and i said kahmsahamnida and he goes "yeah..." and then i walk away... lol that was kinda funny... no really cute guys... phil kept oogling this girl that looked like J... n he asked me if i thought he had any chance with J.. i told him not reallie cuz she's not emotionally available.. #1, J is J... she didn't even keep a relationship with alfred, idun think she'd be able to keep one with phil.. #2, i dun think she thinks of him that way #3, she likes some kind named andy who MIGHT like her back.. and #4, i think she likes being single... but whutever.. :P he can still hope, y'kno? he lyks chomie.. it was obvious that he did.. but i dun think she thinks of him that way... iunno, she doesn't seem the type to go out with a guy like phil.. so yah, oh, ice showed me how to do donut holes when u smoke.. i almost got it.. but its still shaky.. blah, i'll try it tomorrow at pines :P hrm, n yah, i think that's it for thursday... we left pines around 12:30.. i woke up today around 2... called faith n we talked for a lil while n i told her i'd go visit her... so, i eventually leave the house.. i was planning on going to the gym but i ended up watching some dumb movie that i saw before... so yah, on the way there, i was on route 9 when i realized i didn't know how to get to faith's house from there... but i figured i could figure it out when i got there... SO, i'm driving on the parkway about to hit the toll.. when suddenly, this bolt of lighting streaks through the sky... and it starts DOWNPOURING like its a friggin monsoon.. it was SO crazy.. i couldn't see two feet in front of me... so yah, i get to edison and i end up driving in circles for 15 minutes cuz i THOUGHT i knew how to get to faith's house from whereever.. and i JUST realized where i could have gone.. *pounds herself in the head* oh well.. blah... so yah, then i finally take the cheap dumb way of getting to her house.. then we watched tv n talked a lil n then we went to menlo.. we didn't get to stay long cuz it was late by the time we got there... SO, yah, we go to american eagle and i buy a red tanktop that said the price was $6.95 but it was 30% off.. so i go to the counter.. there's this tall skinny asian kid with bleached bangs n a visor on... baby-cute.. so i ask him for the price.. n he said it was $4.85.. but me being the cheap bastard i am still debated on whether or not i should get it... so he was like "its only 4.85" blah blah.. he was super-friendly.. so yah, i got it.. n then faith bought a skirt... he was a lil cutie.. i wanted to hug him... so yah, we left n walked around n stuff... this girl jamie that i recognized from roz's cotillion worked at delia's and we were in there... n she asked me if i knew christian.. i didn't wanna say hi cuz i wasn't sure if she remembered me... but she asked me first so... i told her yah n then she asked me if i was at FIND n i told her naw but she said she had seen me in christian's trail or something... so yah, then the mall was closing n we left n went back to faith's house after picking up icecream (i bought cookie dough.. this is the second day in a row that i had ice cream n it was cookie dough... iunno y i was craving it) n then we watche some weird art show.. the subject was art in the nude.. it was weird...so i drove home afterwards.. the drive wasn't that bad... it made me really appreciate nature n i wished at that moment that i had a camcorder so i could video the lightning and the mist lifting off the street.. it was nice.. so yah, that was my last two days... i'm gonna chill with toki n ghost tomorrow at pines.. woohoo.. lol.. n i have nothing to wear.. blah ><;; oh well... that's it...

2002-05-29T23:06:00.000-04:00

Full name: Christine Anne Monica Enciso (my initials are CAME.. interesting, huh?)
Single or taken: single but still sexy!
Sex : i'ma femme "if u have vagina! and u r graduating! please report to the students activities office to pick up ur cap n gown!"
Birthdate: 1.19 lalala
Astrological sign: cappy.. capricorn ^^
Siblings: one brother.. 26, john august
Eye Color: dark dark brown..
Shoe size: i'ma 10. :P y'kno what they say about women with big feet... big sox!

*-;-* R e l a t i o n s h i p s~*

Who are your top 3 best friends: faith, trina, yakuza/sfg
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yah, in my back pocket.. *glocks ur dumb ass for asking again*

*-;-*F a s h i o n S t u f f *-;-*

Where is your favourite place to shop: i lyk hot topic a lot.. rampage, forever 21, express, the usual
What do you have pierced? jux mah ears-es

*-;-* T h e E x t r a S t u f f *-;-*

Do you do drugs? i smoke somtimes
What kind of shampoo do you use? herbal essences when i put my hair up, pantene when down
What are you most scared of? losing those i love
What are you listening to right now?: listening to Sweetest Come Again by Luna Sea
What car do you wish to have?: i want the lil lexus roadster thingie in black
Who is the last person you called?: hrm.. i have no idea... i think it was lez yesterday... phil called ME today tho
Where do you want to get married? doesn't reallie matter... iunno blah
How many messenger buddies do you have online right now? 23... including the away messages
If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? i'd wanna be more trim

*-;-* F a v o r i t e s *-;-*

Colour: orange, chrome
Number: 137
Food: anything italian.. sushi's becoming my #1
Boy's name: Austin, Wren
Girls name: Alyssa, Jene
Subjects in school: i lyk math n the sciences
Animals: tigers ^^
Game(s): bustagroove, ddr, blood omen II, starcraft/diablo

*-;-* H a v e Y o u E v e r *-;-*

Given someone a bath? jux my lil cousins
Smoked? yesterday wid toki n jun
Bungee jumped? nopers.. wanna try tho
Broken the law? yah of course
Been in love?: dun think so
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? yuppers.. with mr. foster

*-;-* F i r s t T h i n g T h a t C o m e s T o M i n d *-;-*

Red: a fire winamp skin i dled the other day
Cow: chick fil-a where the cow holds the sign saying to eat more chicken
Zebra: think of the pillow that govan made me with the zebra print isht
Socks: clinton's cat

*-;-* F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s *-;-*

Do you like filling these out? yah sure
Gold or Silver?: Silver
What is the last film you saw at the cinema?: i don't remember
Favourite cartoon character?: we lyk gir n zim
What do you have for breakfast in the morning? nothing usually
Who would you hate being locked in a room with? iunno.. people i dun lyk :P

aright, i got lazy with this one.. oh well.. that's it.. lalalaaaaaa

2002-05-28T21:59:00.000-04:00

.:: yo, that guy totally stole ur face! ::.

LOL, that was toki's line the whole time that we were chilling at woodbridge today... what she means is that if someone steals ur face, then they checked u out... lyk, there was an old asian guy who looked at me and she was like "shit, akio.. that guy totally stole ur face.. he was like BAM! mayn, he stole ur face AND your body" and i was like "ewwwwww" cuz he was old.. :P there were way too many black guys at the mall oogling us ><;; oh well.. so yah, i went to woodbridge to chill with toki n jun.. yayyyyy.. ghost couldn't make it ><;; yah... so we walked around and ate subway in burger king ><;; then we took image shots:

that's me up there.. then from left to right: toki n jun

and another pose ^^ look at toki's sekshi tied up pants XD

hrm.. so yah, then we took sticker pix.. (yes we are that crazed)

and another

woohooo.. there's more but we split them up into four thingies.. :P

so yah, toki definitely licked me n it was good times.. n then she BIT me man... woohoo! LOL akio's getting the play... *baby u want me? uh! baby u want me? UH! baby u want me? well u can get this lapdance here for free!*

lol, that's it.. E-VILE SCHOOL TOMORROW *kycks school* :P OOOO, i bought a reallie cool cigarette case with a dragon on it. XD n a gir pin hehe... arighteez, that's it :P

2002-05-27T23:15:00.000-04:00

.:: more quizzes bWWeeeEeeEeeeEEEeeee ^^ ::.

Take the Bear Quiz by Krysten

CHEDDY! *hugglz* aw, me n ghost were talking about how we miss our shinhwa oppas and 1tym-eh.. *sigh*

lalala, mayn... *sigh* friendz... can't live without them hehe... lalalaaaaa

2002-05-27T02:58:00.000-04:00

.:: mustang sally.. ow! ::.

hehe, so today was a lotta fun... aright, i get up around 2 or so.. actually, i was downstairs sleeping in my living room at first since there were people occupying every bedroom of my house for the past week... SO, i was on the big red velvet couch this morning sleeping when i heard the obnoxious voice of my relatives... they all decided that they should speak as LOUD AS POSSIBLE as i sleep on the couch not too far away... SO i pick up my body pillow and i head upstairs.. its around 11:30 at the time.. so then i go back to sleep till around 1PM.. my parents had gone to my aunt's house for dinner and i was home alone... so i spent the next few hours getting ready to go to ice's house.. well, yesterday, i spent forever working out my abs.. lower abs, upper abs, sides, so forth.. i woke up this morning sore as hell.. it kinda bothered me tho.. i spent two hours at the gym and i blew it all away by eating ribs with govan and them.. oh well. So yah, i decided that i want to have my stomach nice n lean for the summer so after i woke up, i ended up doing lik fifty ab exercises to firm it up tho it was flat as hell since i just woke up and there was nothing in my stomach... i did a buncha exercises which made me even more sore.. SO, i got ready to go to ice's.. i picked up trina.. we got there like 40 minutes later... so i'm feeling pretty sexy this morning.. i wore a pair of low-cut jeans and a blue halter that has a little opening where the "chest" begins and my pair of fake timbs.. i thought i looked damn good... so i walk into ice's backyard... the first thing i hear is "hey, christine, girl, look at you being all sexy".. of course this is chomie running up to my giving me a kiss on the cheek.. i looked around a noticed a cute kid on the side that i hadn't seen.. then a few people i didn't know.. the second i walk in, chomie offers me a drink n she was drinking a blue ice.. so i took one too. those are good anyway.. so i walked around.. mike was the first one to say hi... i saw everyone else... kelvin n jd were on the trampoline and chris (the guy that looks like mendel) said hi... it was all peachy... andy, ghost's friend was there with ghost of course... SO, we all chilled.. i kinda really forgot what we did... oh yah, chris goes "christine, what happened to you?" and i was like "huh?" and he was like "you shrunk" and i guess that was his way of saying "you look good" :P so anyway, yah... we hung out... after a few smirnoff's and virtually nothing to eat, i was feeling a lot more bold... when ice put on the music, i started freaking my lil ghost... i asked if anyone would give me a lapdance.. phil gave me one.. damn good too, man his butt was all happy... kelvin was supposed to give me one but i ended up giving him one :P oh well.. so yah... i kept on flirting with ghost the whole time... licking my lips at her n shit.. telling her to come over and sit on my lap... akio the playboy, man.. and ghost being the tease that she is yo... friggin-a.. so eventually somehow, i ended up on the trampoline and chomie n me were getting freaky.. shit, somehow in the midst of things, ghost n chomie ended up strattling me or something and there was a lotta humping and they kept grabbing my ass and shit.. it was all so confusing.. i remember standing over ghost and pretending to pour my smirnoff on her.. and she was like "noooo" and i was like "i'm gonna lick it off you" mayn.. i was so bad... shit... n we'd be lying on the trampoline and people would jump on it and it'd be like fucking or whutever so we were like "OH YAH OHHH" like it was sex... there was a lotta humping and groaning and shit going on.. it was kinda scary... so yah.. LOL that was the whole thing.. we took a lotta pictures which are gonna turn out like super-scary... my parents are NOT looking at those.. shit, i'm like holding a smirnoff, giving kelvin a lapdance, having a menajetua with ghost n chomie n then there's a buncha gay guys giving each other lap dances... its not a very good collection of things to look at.. i actually think i took up an entire roll of film.. its amazing.. SO yah, man.. that was crazed... we hung out and jumped on teh trampoline and then we did karaoke.. n then they went downstairs to play tekken and scattegories.. mayn, chomie had a younger brother... oh shit, he was only fifteen but i SO wanted to strap him down and violate him in everyway possible... ugh, i wanted to lick him so badly.. a sweet, young, korean kid, half-drunk and at my disposal.. shit.. i can almost taste him..... aright, i'm sick.. LOL oh well whutever... mayn, everyone was all like O.O when me n ghost n chomie were getting all freaky... it was bad... the guys were all like "hey! what about us??/" LOL ice was so surprised man.. he was like "the hell?" lol.. for some reason, it is so damn normal to me.. oh well whutever.. lol.. aright, i'm done... tired.. need sleep LOL... buhbye

2002-05-27T02:14:00.000-04:00

.:: buncha tests ::.

Which Sex and the City Player Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

You're lustful and power-driven, unabashed and unafraid, you'll try anything once.

There is very little you will shy away from, you'll grab every opportunity, be it in the bedroom or the boardroom. You want to be Someone. Capital S. You love luxury and decadence and don't believe there should be any guilt in pleasure. You see what you want, you take it. Do now, ask questions later. Or maybe just skip the question-asking altogether ...

You do have quite the tendancy to be aloof and detached, verging on cold. You like to play with men, not date them. You have no intention of getting married. You think that guys should just go away quietly when you're done with them and quit trying to start relationships with you. You're just not the relationship kind. At least not now.

Inspite of your (sometimes questionable) treatment of men (although, some could call it fair play) you are as fiercly loyal and supportive of your friends as they are of you and that's what's really important. Samantha quotes:
"You've got to get online, honey. If only for the porn."

"There's not enough wall space in New York City to hang all my exes, but let me tell you, a lot of them were hung."

"What am I supposed to say? "Hi, this is my lesbian lover. And p.s.: I'm done with dick"?"

What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty

You have one seriously insatiable appetite for action! You're a tigress who never appologises for your abundance of erotic energy and are unabashedly enthusiastic about sex. In order for sex to meet your standards, you prefer control over your men. You may even indulge in some domination, if ya know what I mean... As a passionate person, you also expect alot from your bedmates. Your do-it-to-me-now demands can make you a little hard to please and men may sometimes ask you to slow down a bit, but they should know better. No one can tame you.

2002-05-26T01:05:00.000-04:00

.:: oldbridge = hicksville?::.

yah, so as planned, i went to go chill with govan... originally it was supposed to be like govan, egan n pepitone n his friends n such.. but i got there and nickie deli n tony were there.. somehow pepitone didn't get govan's message or something... so we pile into tony's car.. its me, tony, govan, n nickie deli.. we're heading to Big Ed's to eat some ribs... we get there and egan's there... so we walk in... the place was like super-hicksville... we see all these amazingly overweight people and they're downing their food like it's the last day on earth.. so we bug out.. and we diss people... its always fun when u can bitch about everything... there was this nasty nasty women who was wearing a halter and her stomach was sticking out.. it was super gross... so then we eat our "all you can eat" ribs and it turns out that we could only finish a plate-full.. we're such wuss's... so we go back to govan's for dessert... we chilled and bitched some more and watched MI-2 and we put a spiderman puzzle together... and we ate icecream.. it was good tymz.. then i went home and now i'm jux chatting with toki-chu n i was talking to JD but he signed off ><;; erf, oh well... hrm.. dass it, i'm sleepie :P buhbyez

2002-05-25T17:45:00.000-04:00

.:: bweeeeeeeeeEEEeeEeEeeee ^_____________^ ::.

okie, i'm definitely doing a lot better now hehe.. arighteez, so yesterday, i literally slept the whole day.. i woke up at like 3PM then i ate like 2 pieces of bread and i drank a glass of milk and then i went back to sleep till like 9.. :P then i finally got up and ate chinese food with my parents and my grandparents.. i think my parents think i'm super-mondo-depressed (which i actually was at the time).. but yah, they're all worried.. asking me if i'm okay n stuff... i always say "yah, i'm okie" even though i'm usually not.. its hard explaining to them what's going on... so i went online and bugged out with the yakuza till like 2AM.. woohoo, they make me feel better ^_______^ lol they are SO HORNY.. omg.. (well, me too lol).. the entire time they talked about this guy sugizo from the j-rock band Luna Sea and how they wanted to violate him in every single way possible.. i was like "omg..." tho i am kinda used to it now.. they oogle him every time we go into chat.. SO, if ur wondering who the yakuza IS.. its actually just a buncha girls i met online and we're all reading the same fic (fic= fiction storie) and we're characters in it... there's SO much more to it but i'd rather not say.. so anyway, yah, we bug out totally.. ghost was sucha freak last night.. she was like "come on.. all the yakuza.. " and toki n ghost invited me and were like "yah, come on akio.. there's room for you".. i was like ><;; but i play along and i'm all like "dunno if you can handle this" LOL.. "after all.. i am THE akio" :P oooo.. fun tymz hehe.. LOL U WANT THIS.. *TtsssSSssss* XD ahhhhh!! yakuza chats are so much fun.. oh, i'm eating sushi right now, btw... nummy ^^b i've decided that my favorite rolls are alaska rolls and i also really like yellow tail mucho much... good tyms.. i tried octopus but its kinda tough :P it fell apart before i could eat it.. so anyway, yah.. bweeeeee i'ma playboy hehe.. well... akio is.. but akio = me so therefore i am pwuahahahaha lol... for those that are completely clueless, akio is my male alter ego.. look @ sekshi Ryuunen Akio aka Teru-chu ...oh hellz yah.. lol i luv myself too much LOL.. i've figured out something about akio.. he is totally high maintenance... Mr. suave-i-can-get-anyone-in-bed-with-a-snap-of-my-fingers... he has a collection of wines imported from europe and eats fresh sushi from the best place in all of Tokyo delivered to his door everyday.. he has black silk bed sheets sent to the cleaners weekly and has his suits freshly pressed daily.. has a full weight set and bench to work out... yes, he loves watching his body work at its best.. full jacuzzi with built-in fireplace.. glass-wall shower that changes into a steam bath... crimson velvet kidney shaped couch in front of his 48-inch flat-screen digital TV... spoiled isn't even the word.. entertains his guests with an assortment of german and swedish chocolates, gourmet maraschino cherries, and the elusive favorite, cream peaches... OH YES.. watch out antoine! (from duece bigalow mal gigalo) akio is IN THE HOUSE.. ^^;; wow.. i'm too into this lol.. arighteez, well yah.. i've decided that akio's high maintenence which is perfect cuz guess what.. I AM TOO!! pwuahahaha.. well, i mean, i don't have all that shit but i do think i'm high maintenance.. its hard to explain.. i also think that even though i don't get ass that i am slightly a playboy (well, playgirl in this case)... today, i got up around 11:30 (damn early since i went to sleep around 5AM O.o) got dressed, went to the gym for like 2 hours.. i didn't go to my usual gym.. turns out that's there's NYSC in freehold borough, like 10 minutes away from me in contrast to the 15-20 minutes i hafta drive to get to the one on marlboro.. i still go to marlboro tho (not only cuz of gym guy) but also cuz it has a shitload more machines and has nice showers n sauna, etc.. freehold has like nothing.. so i get there.. nothing interesting.. then this group of AMAZINGLY buff guys walk in and they're working out n stuff... they keep looking at me and when i walk near them, they stop talking and just watch and then when i'm far enough away, they start talking again... these guys have arms the size of my BODY... they are HUGE.. yah, there's guys @ marlboro gym exactly like them but hey, they were oogling me.. it makes me think... am i reallie a playboy? do u think that if i asked one of them to sleep with me, they would? (for some odd reason, i actually think they would) now, i don't think i'm all that... i dun think i'm like amazingly pretty or that i have an amazing body or anything but for some reason, i think guys are attracted to me.. but at the same time, even tho they are, they don't do jack shit.. its like "wow, she's hot" or "wow, she's attractive but let's not talk to her or anything for no reason"... does that make sense??? :P oh! and i was at the marlboro gym on thursday and i was resting between one of my sets and this really hot wigger guy that i see all the time goes up to me and asks me how many sets i have left on my machine... yah, that's normal but we play that stupid game where i look at him and he looks at me.. blah blah blah.. he had been following me around the whole night going on machines near me.. stuff like that.. so i actually think he was trying to talk to me.. i was actually gonna be like "yah, hi" but he walked away right after he asked me.. iunno.. i think guys can't approach me for some reason... hrm... whutever.. so yah, i leave the gym.. kinda upset that i didn't talk to any of the amazingly hot guys there.. i go to shoprite and i pick up some sushi and a jar of maraschino cherries (pwuahaha lol) which i am actually eating right now.. yum ^^b so anyway, yah... its been a good day.. supposed to be going to hang out with govan later... woohoo! aright, i think i'm done talking about myself ^^;; oo! new pictures of sex-ay eric mun ^^

and again
^_________________^ yummy... *licks him* luva his hair ^^b arightee.. that's it :Þ *hugglz*

2002-05-23T23:14:00.000-04:00

.:: merengue with elvis ::.

aright, so we'll go with prom first... i was completely and utterly sick the entire week before prom so on the actual day of prom, in my dress fitted with literally 16 safety pins because it turned out to be 2 sizes too big for me, with my hair done all crappily and a POed expression on my face, i left my house alone to get to Nicole Indelicato's house, where the limo would be. My mom decided that she didn't want to see her own daughter off to senior prom and my dad was at work. You can imagine how great that must have felt. So i got into my celica and drove off toward 18. In the midst of my cruising, i get a call from govan and she tells me to hurry up cuz they'd be leaving soon. So i get onto 520 and i'm on it for 10 minutes and i look at one of the street signs and it says tennent. So i call up everyone and i'm like, "is 520 supposed to turn into tennent?" and they were like "uhhh, no" turns out i was driving in the wrong direction on 520. so i turned around and got onto 520. I ended up somewhere near katrina's house which was completely absurd because that was farhter away than where i started.. i was practically about to cry as i sped down 520 trying to get to Nicole Indelicato's house. So since i was still like 15 minutes away and everyone was just waiting for me, they decided to leave. Well, i don't think that there could possibly be a worse feeling than knowing that 10 of your best friends are going to senior prom, the last prom that you will ever have with them, are going off in a limo that you paid $110 for without you. Adding onto that was that my parents didn't even think for two seconds about me going to prom and i was alone in my car and i had to DRIVE to PNC bank arts center to go to a prom where i didn't even have a date. I got there like 5 minutes after i had called Egan. I walked in and i just wanted to leave. I would have walked out if trina n dale weren't telling me to stay. I threw my corsage on the ground and stormed out. I don't think i have ever felt so hurt and it wasn't anyone's fault. It was just a shitty shitty situation. The rest of prom was okay. We had this dumb-ass DJ who randomly started singing in the middle of the song and played stupid Z100 songs the whole time. pertaining to the title of this entry, i danced with amanda's date whose name is actually elvis.. and we did do the merengue.. It was as fun as any sweet sixteen or any dance party would be but the whole limo thing just ruined it. I personally don't think any of it was worth it. I shoulda just stayed home. Atleast i got to ride in the limo back... $110 for 15 minutes in a limo.. that's great. i went home first and then i went to govan's house. we slept over and the next morning we drove to wildwood to visit everyone and also to pick up Nicole Indelicato. This whole thing happened over there. I don't really wanna explain because.. iunno, i just don't want to. Let's just say, everyone hated denise. the stuff we did after prom was fun tho... it reminded me of old times when i used to be close to everyone.. so anyway, This week was pretty intense. I took two calc retakes, did a religion project, wrote a research paper, wrote two essays, wrote 12 journals, got my yearbook, got my school sweatshirt, said good bye to culture awareness club, received a beautiful frame from mrs. valentine, saw JON VALENTINE *drool*, received a cute plush owl from lea that plays pomp & circumstance, and i had three parties today.. it's been an eventful week..

it may be just cuz its that part of the month but i think i'm really depressed... i just realized that not one thing this year has gone right.. i was looking forward to a cac trip.. there was none, i was looking forward to the musical... we did the worst play ever imaginable, i was looking forward to cac night and mrs cable fucked up what took the entire school year in 5 minutes, i was looking forward to prom... it turned out not be worth all the stress... this year just fucking sucked. To add to that, i do believe that i have lost half of my friends. I used to be close to govan, tony, egan, christina, and so forth and now it just seems like i'm that third wheel. I seriously can't even remember the last time that we hung out or that any of them called me to hang out. I don't know if it was them or if it was me or what but all i know is that when everyone goes out, they don't think "hey, why isn't enciso here?" I haven't met one person this year besides Marko that i was actually interested in and he ended up being in the military stationed on the other side of the world.. and the only other object that i lusted after is barely even there anymore... my best friend is moving to tx, i'm moving to boston, i'm starting to get irritated by everyone, my grades went down the drain and its like my life has fucking deteriorated into nothing.. its like.. completely useless... i don't think i have ever felt so shitty.. i think the last time i felt this sad was when i was younger and i was fat and ugly and i had no friends and the only thing i could do was sit in my room and pretend i did... that's what it feels like right now.. my shitty life... it not even like i can say that my life sux cuz there are so many people out there who have it so much worse but i can say that its shitty... i'm just so tired of everything....... i'm tired of being disappointed, i'm tired of feeling alone, i'm tired of feeling angry and hurt.. i just... i can't wait till i fucking get out of here..........

2002-05-12T22:36:00.000-04:00

.:: blah, my throat hurts ::.

no original title today... SO, let's start with thursday... thursday, i woke up around 2 in the afternoon when trina calls me and tells me that her and her mom got into a fight and there was some badness going on.. so i picked her up and we went to pizza hut and then bought some supplies for culture night... then we went to go pick up J n alyssa n trina's sister n we practiced in the house... phil came and later austin did too... so we practiced the cha-cha and the drill (we added chairs to it), shinhwa, then the tinikling.. practice ended around 10... wanted to go to th gym.. see if gym guy was there but no tym :P so friday, i take my AP test and i get back to school and trina tells me that ms. cable took the stage away from us during lunch that day... i was pissed and crying cuz she's just a dumb insensitive bitch... the whole point was to have the stage and she fucking threw it out the window like it was nothing... i just wanted to shoot her... i'll be writing her a long-ass note for the end of the year about how she's insensitive and how she's unfair and what she was doing was wrong... UGH, stupid bitch... so yah, i drove trina home and we vented the whole way... then i got my stuff ready and took a shower and went back to school... we decorated and practiced the dances and people starting showing... so the show went okay... it would have been a lot better if ms. cable didn't have a stick shoved up her ass but hey, nothing i can do, right? the people cleaned out the food and i headed back to my house to meet up with the DJ... him and his friend came up to me after i parked my car in the garage and i was like "hi, i'm Christine" i somehow thought that Dave was white so i assumed the white one was him but it turned out the filipino guy was Dave ><;; my bad... but i was wearing my Debut shirt n Dave was like "yah, filipino american" and he gave me a high frive ^^ then they asked if the celica was my car and i said yah and they were like "wooowwww" LOL so we get inside and they say that my house is nice and i show them the basement and they set up down there n stuff.. they were cute.. not bad ^^ sweet too... Dave was like "do u rave?" (cuz i was wearing UFO's) n i said no.. lotta people ask me that ><;; n i was just sitting at the kitchen table and he was like "r u okay?" and i jux told him i was tired.. awwww, sweetie... so yah, people showed up a lil while later.. ghost n dean were the first.. then everyone else started piling in... ryce n everyone stayed in the dining room n everyone else went downstairs n started dancing... it was a lotta fun... i got to bug out with people... that was the best part... austin n his black friend were hitting on govan and jordan ><;; *casts protective forcefield on both of them* NO TOUCHIE THE BLACK GURLIEZ grrrrrrrrrr *bark* lol i dun like it when horn balls like austin talk about my friends ><;; errrrr sfg was chilling outside to cool off n when they were leaving, i gave em a group hug... and i told them it was kairos 2... n tony said it was kairos backwards which is soriak.. so i told them to go around school saying that if u weren't at soriak, then ur just not cool... we chilled some more.. i ended the party... lalala.. we chilled on the couches n talked forever... then i was gonna drive alyssa n j n sheena home but i couldn't find my bag so i looked around the whole house... and i was in the basement and the white kid steve was down there and he saw me looking and he was like "is everything okay?" and i was like "yah, i jux can't find my bag" awwww, sweetie number 2 ^_^ so yah, my mom ended up taking the girls home and then i found out trina had my bag so i drove to her house and we talked for a while... the plan was i was supposed to meet up with ghost, ryce, n chomie at pines but since i couldn't find my bag, my parents wouldn't let me drive.. so i made up the excuse that i was going to trina's to pick up my bag and i went to pines from there.. it was like 1AM by then... we played for a lil.. i played reallie reallie bad ><;; oh well.. then we went home.. n i slept.. woke up saturday morning around 9... and we had to leave for VA by 10.. so i got ready quickly n then we took the 4 hour drive there... john came n i remember going to starbucks after watching Andrew play Blood Omen.. that's a fun game... but yah, then andrew n missa went to some guy's house and i went back to uncle mike's... woke up this morning to go to church... then we went to auntie angie's n celebrated mothers day... it was okay.... i was tired so it was kinda all a blur.. then we left n i went back home n here i am... so yah, that was my weekend... blah, i'm tired n i have stupie allergies... GRRRRRR.. *sigh* oh well.. gonna go print out 36 moons now... buhbye

2002-05-07T23:22:00.000-04:00

.:: chicka-chickaaaaa ::.

hrm aright, so here's the deal.. actually, i have no idea what the deal is.. oh wait.. there was a point to this entry.. yah, i saw gym guy for the first time in forever... we finished up with practice and alyssa showed me part of a drill... and then i dropped off the girls and went to the gym... so i'm half way into my workout and i'm sitting at a machine and i see this whole flock of filipino guys walk into the building and as they all pass me, they look at me, obviously because i'm filipino and because i'ma girl... so i go back to my workout.. and then i went to the back to do crunches.. so i'm lying out on the floor between one of my sets and i see a guy dribbling a ball passed the room and it was gym guy.. he looked right at me and i looked right at him.. i was sprawled on the floor and it musta looked really weird.. when i lay on the floor, guys look at me like i have three heads.. iunno.. so yah, i saw one of his friends walk by the room and he looked at me and then i believe he was talking to gym guy and pointing to me... but yah, iunno... i didn't get to talk to him since he brought his barkada with him.. grrrrr but i'm pretty sure he's flip now... umz, let's see... i went into an empty room and i practiced drill until my hands lost circulation.. its fun.. me likie.. its hard tho...

so yah, took my AP calc test today... horrendous isn't even the word... i just laughed at the free response questions.. it was crazy... so yah, that was okie... we had practice today.. i made the girls do tinikling like 50 times.. if we can't do it in general, how are we supposed to do it with the sticks??? :P n we have two days... so yah, i'm stressing about that mucho much.. i taught the girls all of the shinhwa dance and we're gonna be practicing for hours on end until we all get it right... idun care how tired people are... i want it to be right... then i dropped them off too and went to the gym... saw gym guy for a second then he left... he's been sporting a visor facing frontwards.. its cute.. me likie.. he wore a black wifebeater today.. good times... hrm... that's it... came home and here i am.. tired as hell don't feel like going to school.. grrrrrr.. *sigh* oh well... buhbyez

2002-05-04T01:48:00.000-04:00

.:: just kidding... ::.

aight, i wrote started this entry yesterday but i was too tired to finish it... so here i go:

school is a super-mondo-bitch-and-ahalf... it is AMAZING.. everytime i get to school, i seriously just wanna shoot myself... the only reason why i just don't stop coming is because of culture awareness night... so yah, that's pretty much school in a nutshell..

i went out with a buncha ppl today.. went to pines n met up with kelvin n phil n they drove me to dean's work.. i hate leaving my car in public places.. ugh.. my poor baby... so yah, we're in kelvin's van and we're driving on the parkway.. dude, he should never touch the radio and drive at the same time cuz he can't do it yet... he will but because he's a "new" driver, he still isn't able to do so... so yah, that was quite scary... SO, kelvin decides to all blow up my spot by saying, "hey, phil.. marko said he liked christine, right??" and phil was like "yah, he did" and then i'm like "but he liked a lotta girls, right?" and then kelvin was like "yah.. but he liked a lotta girls and YOU" and i was like O.o phil goes "yah, he did like a lotta gurls but he liked a lotta girls n YOU" and i was like "huh?" so kelvin says that marko was talking to him and was like "hey, you kno that girl christine, right?" and kelvin goes, "who? you mean sonic?" and he was like "no, no, no... that girl u were in cotillion with" and he was like "ooooo, christine enciso" and he said that everyday @ night, he'd be like "yo, let's go to pines... yo, call christine up, man" and they would be like "naw, i wanna quest (diablo II)" and when we were gonna chill he'd keep on telling them to call me up and they'd be like "man, i did already.. shuttup!" lol i thought that was sweet.. iunno.. its really the little things about him that i miss.. *sigh* damn this loneliness... so we got to dean's work and we lifted a few weights here and there.. phil was tired so he didn't do much.. then chomie came and she chilled with us.. then we went into the dance studio and goofed around... phil taught chomie the todo todo.. and then i changed and then we went to dean's... we hung out in his room and he gave me the dragon/tiger patch ^________________^ dean = dragon, me = tiger... so yah, these guys jay and chris and that kid mike and the guy Will from Ice's martial arts competition showed up.. chris looks a crapload like mendel.. so yah, Will went somewhere and Jay and Mike had to go home cuz they had to pick up someone's dad at like 3AM?? :P so the rest of us piled into Kelvin's van and we drove back to pines... when we got there, i went out and bought some stoges then i got back to pines and we played pool for a while.. chomie knew some people in there and she kept drinking but hey, whutever floats her boat, right? :P then that kid chris kept staring at me... ><;; i think he stares at everyone.. its kinda creepy.. especially since he looks like mendel.. :P he talks in tagalog constantly and i had to keep translating for chomie.. :P allg.. my playing sucked that day and by the end i just wanted to go home... so i got home.. then i called trina and blabbed about marko and how i miss him.. blah.. we stayed on the phone till like 2AM and then i went to sleep.. i got up around 2PM today and then trina n her sister came over and her friend marichris... then austin came over and we watched MIss Congeniality.. i can't believe he didn't see it before that.. :P oh well.. they left around 10 minutes ago.. oh yah, my mom found my stoges... oh well, she was like "i'm not gonna give u allowance if i see u smoking" blah blah blah.. but she can't be like "u shouldn't smoke" because she smokes... her only excuse was "you don't have money to buy cigarettes"... and she didn't even take them from me :P whuteverz.. so yah, that's it... i'm tired so i'm gonna head out.. i'll blog laterish...

2002-05-01T00:59:00.000-04:00

.:: O.o ::.

okay, so i IM phil... n i get this:

Filodiva19: hey, phil
PilipBwoy: hi
PilipBwoy: how r ya?
Filodiva19: i'm good
Filodiva19: u?
PilipBwoy: missin you...
Filodiva19: oi?
PilipBwoy: how come ur still up?
Filodiva19: eh.. drank soda.. can't sleep
PilipBwoy: oh ok
Filodiva19: i can't eevn remember if i took a nap or not
PilipBwoy: so what's up?
Filodiva19: nothing.. chatting.. that's it.. gonna get some stuff ready for my cultural awareness meeting tomorrow... n that's it...
PilipBwoy: oh alright
Filodiva19: you okie???
Filodiva19: u seem down?
PilipBwoy: not really
PilipBwoy: i just ate a lot of food tonight
PilipBwoy: hehehe!
Filodiva19: lolol
PilipBwoy: down? actually i feel high!
PilipBwoy: lol!
Filodiva19: have u been smoking up??
PilipBwoy: nah! that aint my thing!
PilipBwoy: u know me...
PilipBwoy: i feel so high coz of the amount of food i ate tonight
Filodiva19: lol okie
Filodiva19: ur weird, phil
PilipBwoy: can u call me tonight?
Filodiva19: i guess? u need to talk?
PilipBwoy: on second thought, nevermind
Filodiva19: what's going on? r u okay?
PilipBwoy: u think im weird?
Filodiva19: well yah.. ur acting weird. not like urself
Filodiva19: r u feeling okay?
PilipBwoy: to be honest, i am not myself tonight
Filodiva19: what's wrong?
PilipBwoy: as a matter of fact, i am not phil
PilipBwoy: im phil's cousin
PilipBwoy: just messin with you...
PilipBwoy: im sorry
PilipBwoy: phil's in his room right now
Filodiva19: LOL
Filodiva19: okay, u were confusing me for a while there
PilipBwoy: again, im sorry
PilipBwoy: i apologize
Filodiva19: its aight
PilipBwoy: i have no idea what phil is like online
PilipBwoy: so what's ur name?
PilipBwoy: im not so sure if im right but r u christine?
Filodiva19: yah
Filodiva19: how'd u kno?
PilipBwoy: oohhh!!!
PilipBwoy: wow! i was just makin a wild guess
Filodiva19: lol okie
PilipBwoy: i heard him mention your name once in a while
PilipBwoy: earlier i noticed as if you haven't seen each other for quite some time
PilipBwoy: so i figured it would be somebody phil hasnt gotten in touch with lately
Filodiva19: naw, that's another kristine... i saw phil this weekend
PilipBwoy: ah ok
PilipBwoy: now im confused!:-\
PilipBwoy: its late. i think i better go now
Filodiva19: arighteez.. nice talking to u
PilipBwoy: it was nice chatting with you christine...
PilipBwoy: ill see you next time ok?
PilipBwoy: g'night!
Filodiva19: arighteez.. buhbye
PilipBwoy: no good night kiss?
Filodiva19: lol
Filodiva19: i just met u
PilipBwoy: if ill give you one, will give me one back?
PilipBwoy: will you give me one back?
Filodiva19: lol lemme ask u something.. how old r u?
PilipBwoy: its not real kiss y'know...
PilipBwoy: im 23
Filodiva19: i see
Filodiva19: arighteez.. here *muah* g'nite
PilipBwoy: weeeeeeee!!!:-D
PilipBwoy: thanks!
PilipBwoy: good night!
Filodiva19: LOL good night
PilipBwoy: mmmuaaaahh!
PilipBwoy: ;-)
PilipBwoy signed off at 12:56:39 AM.

um, okie.... "weird" is an understatement... O.o iunno what happened but it seems kinda odd that a total stranger would ask for a kiss goodnight??? :P arighteez, well, i'll hafta talk to phil about that... ><;;

2002-04-30T09:17:00.000-04:00

.:: this is the cutest thing ever ::.

^____________________________________________^;;

baekkie dreaming of teddy

pwuaahhhhahahahahahahahaahaaaa... ^________^ aw, so kyoooootttt aightz, i'm out

2002-04-30T08:53:00.000-04:00

.:: in school right now ::.

yes, these are the productive things i do during service :P survey!

I WANT // some ass damnit
I WISH // i cut school to chill with lez
I LOVE // hanging out with friendz.. i realized this weekend how much i'm gonna miss everyone
I HATE // shitty drivers, fake ppl
I MISS // marko ><;;, ... i miss ghost n hanging out with all of 143
I FEAR // letting my parents down by screwing up in college
I SEE // a compie screen??? lol
I HEAR // the mindless brains in AP Bio talking about random things

LAST TIME YOU SMILED? // a little while ago when i was an old entry in toki's blog when she mentioned me n looking at gir dolls lol
LAUGHED? // just now when justine asked Chris Keller "what are u wearing?" (he's wearing some fruity hawaiian shirt)
BOUGHT SOMETHING? // hrm... i think the last thing i bought was lunch yesterday.. but before that i bought one of those korean ice pops from pines ^_________^ yummy wannie
DANCED? // last night in front of my mirror lol.. i like watching myself dance ^^;;
GOT HAMMERED? // didn't really get hammered but quasi-buzzed.. @ PSU with ghost
HUGGED SOMEONE? // i do believe it was ice.. god, i hug that kid too much lol.. my lil char-pocket-monster *sigh* n hugging marko..
HAD A NIGHTMARE? // i dunno but i had a really realistic dream last night with mrs. sanecki n jamie sanecki.......... that's actually really weird

LAST THING YOU READ: lez's blog
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW ON THE BIG SCREEN: god, if i kno.. umz... i have no idea
LAST PHONE NUMBER YOU CALLED: trina's house around 12:30 this morning
LAST SHOW YOU WATCHED ON TV: EVerybody Loves Raymond tho i hate that show..
LAST SONG YOU HEARD: some song by Aaliyah..
LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK: still drinking my coffee
YOU ATE?: i ate rice n vienna sausage yesterday yummm..

------Do You...-------

SMOKE? lately yes... normally, i dun but stress n shit
HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND?: naw... :P
HAVE A DREAM THAT KEEPS COMING BACK?: nopers... tho i recently heard my friend talking about one
REMEMBER YOUR FIRST girlfriend/boyfriend: lol no
STILL LOVE HIM/HER? ...
BISEXUAL OR LESBIAN/GAY FRIENDS? i have a gay cousin *shrug*

BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? sure y not
BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE TO REMAIN FAITHFUL FOREVER? yah.. i'm a mush
LIKE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL? depends on what kind... but mostly no
BELIEVE IN GOD? naw..
HAVE ANY SECRETS? of course
HAVE ANY PETS? nah
GO TO OR PLAN TO GO TO UNIVERSITY? BU, BABY, HERE I COME!!!!
WEAR HATS?: eh.. sometimes
HATE YOURSELF? eh... sometimes.. mostly i'm just an arrogant bitch tho
HAVE A BEST FRIEND? yesh... trina n faith *miss u faith*
HAVE ANY BAD HABITS? oh yesh
CARE ABOUT LOOKS? "superficial" is an understatement
TRUST OTHERS EASILY? not at all :P
LIKE SARCASM? yah, its funny
TAKE WALKS IN THE RAIN? yesh.. it's mucho fun
KISS WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED? sure
SING IN THE SHOWER? all the time
OWN HANDCUFFS? i used to have a pair of lil ones.. we used to call them dick-cuffs LOLOL
HAVE ANY SCARS? oh yesh.. mucho on my legs.. n i have stupie stretch markz.. damn my fat ass

soooooo.. yah, there ya go.. i'm tired as shit n this is gonna be a long-ass week... goddamnit.. hrm.. i went home and slept last night.. was gonna go to the gym but i skipped out thinking that i was gonna do english but hah! just kidding.. i ended up putting on fake nails :P *sigh* senioritis is fatal... i've had it chronically since sophomore year.. can't wait till graduation.. that's it.. *payce*

2002-04-28T01:15:00.000-04:00

.:: a shitload ::.

aright, so my plans for this weekend didn't go EXACTLY as planned but it was somewhat close... so much shit... i can't even believe that it all happened so quickly and in only these past few days...

so thursday... the most eventful day of them all.. school went by slow as hell.. i got my calc test back.. i got a 35 --;; i am seriously getting an F- in that class... whutever, bulman can bite me.. stupid fucker.. after school, i brought the girls (trina, j, clarissa, n alyssa) to my house to practice the shinhwa dance.. i think we got a lot done.. the girls know a lot of it already.. we need to practice everyday this week tho :P so it was raining n lez couldn't chill so we practiced longer and i actually drove alyssa home around 6:30 when she was supposed to be home by 6 ><;; but her mom didn't mind thank god.. alyssa said that she likes me which is cool.. i called up justine n she said that they were meeting up at fierro's house later on so i agreed to meet them there and afterward, i would meet up with dean, phil, n kelv @ pines.. so i go home take a shower and get ready to go out.. then i call up tony and ask him for directions to fierro's.. i get there around a half hour later.. we're hanging out in fierro's house just joking around.. then she gets this phone call and she starts cursing into the phone and i'm sitting there wondering what the hell was going on.. so she hangs up the phone and i was like "who was that?" and she's like "my father. he's coming down here and i don't know what's gonna happen".. so like a few minutes after the phone call, her dad busts into the house and starts cursing @ fierro in front of all of us saying that he deserves respect and that he had put up with living with her mother for 20 years and that he wasn't welcome into his own house... and fierro just ran up the stairs and into her mom's bedroom and the group of us (it was me, tony, justine, jen, gabby, danielle cruz, this guy ryan) just sat at the table and didn't move until her dad stormed out of the house.. so we ran upstairs and she was on her mom's bed sobbing hysterically and yelling things like "mom, why did you leave me? please come back to me" and all of us were crying just seeing her like that.. it was so awful.. then her father comes back and we could hear him downstairs and he's cursing and he starts throwing shit all over the place and screaming and cursing and fierro becomes hysterical again... so he left again and i tried to comfort her and then she asked where her phone was... so she ran downstairs and got her phone and i followed her just to make sure she was okay.. and we heard the door open so she sprints up the stairs and it was her dad and he sees me running up the stairs after fierro so he starts yelling "okay, everyone get out of the house, right now!" and he came upstairs and he came into the room and told us to get out and he was screaming at us to get out but fierro told us not to leave her.. i was so afraid of him.. so we just stood in the doorway even though he continued to yell at us... i had never been so scared in my life.. then fierro got up and bolted for the door and she ran down the stairs, out of the house and into the street.. she ran all the way down the block and she collapsed on the grass and just sobbed and cried hysterically.. her neigherbor came and tried to calm her down but she wouldn't stop thrashing and screaming... so the kid ryan called the cops and they came and so did the paramedics because of fierro's state.. i don't think i have ever cried so much in my life.. seeing her like that, wailing and just hurting, suffering... the worst was when i she started screaming that she wanted to die... because i kno that she really did.. they drove her off the hospital in an ambulance after she had passed out... i was so emotionally influenced by that.. i just couldn't stop shaking and my mind wasn't anywhere near my body.. i stopped by a gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes and started smoking them on the way to pines.. i got there a lil while later... marko was there which was a surprise cuz he said he wasn't going to be since he was visiting some girl in rahway.. so kelv, dean, phil, this kid mike, n marko were there... we hung out n played pool.. i smoked like no-fucking-tomorrow.. everytime i finished one, i took out another.. i just needed something to do... and it was right there.. i must smoked half the pack in the span of three hours.. it prolly seems really mean to go out with friends after seeing something so dramatic with the whole situation with fierro but the last thing i wanted to do was go home and be by myself to think about it.. so i went out and chilled with the guys... they made me laugh.. i felt a lot better after chilling with them tho i was still shaken... they could tell that something had happened.. kelvz was the first to ask me.. he said i looked really tired and i told him the overlay of the whole thing.. then marko said i looked tired and then i told him... he said i looked like i didn't wanna be there.. and i was like "i'm tired and a lotta bad shit happened tonight" he understood.. so we hung out.. they made me laugh.. i teamed up with all the guys except phil n ice.. i won a couple, lost a couple, i wasn't really keeping track... a lotta times, i was sitting on the couch just lying there smoking and marko would sit down next to me n talk to me n stuff.. i got that impression that after i told him i was gonna ask him to prom that he kinda looked at me different or whutever.. there was one time that he sat down and he was like 'yknow what i just noticed?" and i was like "what?" and he was like "you're the only girl here" and i was.. i was the only girl in the entire pool hall... i had pointed it out earlier to kelv but marko didn't hear.. n marko goes "yah, they're all looking at you" i was like :P n when i'd light up, he'd always come over and light up from mine... lil things like that.. the guys were being super flirty that night.. everytime i would make a shot they were like "ooooooo.. wwooooowww" and sometimes i would sit on the table to take a shot and they were like "ooooo, seeexxxyyyy" lol.. dorks.. n there was chalk on one of the tables and i sat in it ><;; my being the dorkus that i am.. n it was on my butt so marko goes "there's chalk on ur butt" and so i pat it off or whutever but after we left, phil was like "there's chalk on ur butt" and i was like "shit" and marko goes "i would wipe it off but that would be sexual harassment" and i said "yah it would" then i was walking toward PC bang and phil goes "wait, let me check again" all jokingly and he looks at my butt.. and i was like "you guys just wanna look at my ass, don't u?" and i stuck my ass out at them and they all go "oooooo, sexxxyyyyy" LOL marko kept saying stuff about me.. he quoted from Men in Tights and he was like "do you kno what movie that's from?" and i was like "yah, men in tights" and he was like "oooo, she knows her movies" then my n kelvz were talking about starcraft in PC bang and marko was like "you play starcraft?" he thought it was so weird or something.. then we were talking about dance moves and how kelvz had used one from bustagroove and phil was like "no" and i was like "Yah! that is from bustagroove" and marko goes "man, you play bustagroove too?" n he said his favorite was heat and i told him mine was strike... so yah, um that's enough about marko lol.. so yah, we hung out outside n there was a lotta cute korean guys there.. yum.. the guys started doing martial arts in the middle of the parking lot.. it was funny lol.. n we joked around n then i left..i pretty much thought that was the last time i was gonna see marko .. i went home n i saw that my parents received this form that said i got a saturday suspension for cutting school and going to play practice.. so i wrote them this whole long thing cuz of what i had seen at fierro's and i remember driving home and thinking how lucky i was to have parents like mine so i wrote them a note about how i was sorrie and that i always take them for granted and that the SS musta hurt their feeling n stuff.. i cried while writing it.. iunno.. then i went to sleep...

definitely the most happened thursday.. on friday, things were somewhat calmer... i got up a lil later than i wanted to... so i got ready n left for the wake.. i was scheduled to get there ontime but i ended up getting lost n stuff so i only got to stay at the wake for about an hour... fierro just kneeled by the coffin and wouldn't move and wouldn't respond to anything and everyone was crying.. i ended up telling everyone the whole story about the night before.. and it was so depressing.. so i left n i went home... later on that night, i went to the marlboro asian show.. it was pretty cool.. like a lot less ghetto than ours but oh well.. so we left around 8:30 and we went to diane's house for her birthday party.. she didn't kno we were coming so it was a big surprise for her.. we hung out... lotta ppl were there... mike santos, roz, christian, jen, rowena, her boy.. lotta pplz.. so we chilled n played that funny jiggly puff game and took pics and sang karaoke n my mom called n told me that missa was here so later on i went to go pick her up or whutever... so we call up ice n he wants to see her.. so the plan was for them to meet at my house and i asked who was coming and he said everyone but marko so i was like "marko's not coming?" and he was like "no, he has to stay cuz he's leaving tomorrow" so i was like "oh okie" so he came over with the guys a little while later n marko was with them.. i was like O.o so we're hanging out n people start leaving n shtuff.. i went out to smoke with marko n phil and i remember they said something flirty n i replied back flirty n i forgot what it was... oh well.. so we were smoking n the guys were saying how they were afraid to get food since they didn't kno diane's parents... so phil's like "yah, i'ma big boy" or something and he pats his tummy.. n them marko goes "yah man, me too" and he pats his tummy and then i look down at mine and i put my hand on it and marko's like "nah, nah, yo... you have a perfect....." and he just trails off.. i was all like *blush* so yah... we hung out a while longer and i let missa chill with dean n they were cute.. i took a buncha pics n it was cool.. then we had to go or whutever after we sang like a bajillion songs on karaoke.. after we left the house, we were chilling outside for a while n we talked about random things... i smoked yet AGAIN.. ><;; i'm bad, i kno.. this time marko gave me a light (he gave me a light the whole night).. so we hung out and talked and we were supposed to be heading home but i was just having fun bugging.. so we finally decide to go home and i go to give marko a kiss goodbye like we always do n when i pull away, he grabbed me by the waist and hugged me and he was like "hey, i'm not gonna see you for like a year" and i was like "awwww" and i gave him a hug and i was like "i knoooo... aw, take care of urself aright?" and i patted him on the back n stuff.. i thought it was a nice goodbye hug.. n then phil was all joking around he was like "christine, i'm gonna miss u!!!" and i pretend to be like all crying and i hug him n stuff lol.. he's sucha dork.. n i got to kelvz n i kissed him on the cheek n he was like "where's my hug?" ><;; then i hugged dean cuz i always do.. lol aw, my lil jet li pocketmonster hehe.. n that was it.. i dropped off trina at home and then i got home with missa n we conked out on the couch..

*sigh* its sad cuz i think i actually do like marko.. n damnit, RYCE, if any of u guys are reading this, shut the fuck up... n everyone who knows RYCE, PLEASE PLEASE don't mention this to them... so yah.. iunno he was really sweet... n the whole idea of him being a marine and being honorable.. and all that stuff he said and him being worried about me and the hug n all.. i thought i was all just really sweet.. he left this morning so i won't see him prolly ever again... wait, i need to blog more before i continue on with this...

so today, i woke up early despite that we went to bed around 4.. and i went to the funeral...i caught a ride with tony n we got there late cuz we got lostish .. ><;; but the ceremony hadn't started yet.. it wasn't too emotional because the priest sounded like he was paid to be monotone.. but it was still sad.. afterwards, all of us went to a diner and goofed around like there was no tomorrow.. n at the end, we thought that tip was included so we left three bucks extra on the table n the waitress got pissed at us.. so she complains to the people and they asked us if we had "left the money there on the way out" and we said that we thought the tip was included. so we just gave her extra money n left.. whutever.. she didn't hafta be a bitch about it... just be like "i'm sorrie but i was wondering why u left such a small tip" something civilized instead of saying "what is this shit?" and storming off to her manager... dumb bitch.. so i went home and picked up missa n then we went to the mall.. then we came back n left for tita sandra's... i followed my dad there.. so we got there around 5 or something and we ate and stuff and as i was on the line for food, this short fat old white guy with a mustache goes "wow, i'm starting to feel more and more like danny devito" and he goes "not only are you beautiful but you're tall" and i was like "oh thank you" and then he was like "victor look.." and this old filipino dad turns to me and the white guy goes "look, she's tall and she's beautiful... they didn't used to make girls like that before" and i was like "thank you.." and i walked away as quickly as possible... i was like arg.. hit on my some old white dad... n then i was going outside to the porch when these parents were standing by the door and i asked them to open it for me since my hands were full and as i was going out the lady says in tagalog (which i understood but not to her knowledge) "who's kid is that? she's pretty" and then the person next to her was like "iunno" and then another lady came in and she asked her too.. n the woman was like "hindi ko alam" (i don't know) it was just really really weird O.o i was like um, okay.. i UNDERSTAND YOU.. jeez... so yah... we chilled there some more.. then we left for pines.. we met up there with kelvz, ice, phil, mel, n B... so we went to this dj competition at kean university.. it was wack as hell man.. totally not worth 5 bucks.. it felt like sutting was missing cuz marko wasn't there.. but no one really seemed to care or whutever... then there was a tall korean buff guy standing there and kelvin and phil were like "christine, look at that guy...ooooooooo!!!!" and i was like "what? what are you talking about???" and they were like "you kno u want him, he's sexy" LOL, i swear they think about guys more than i do... so yah, my spot was TOTALLY blown up :P oh well.. we left the competition after a while n then phil drove us back to pines n me n missa went home and now here i am blogging.. i'm supposed to go to woodbridge with lez tomorrow but if rains, she can't :T oh well...

so yah, i'm thinking of marko a lot.. i know its pointless or whutever and there wasn't really anything there but he was pretty much the closest thing to an object of affection that i had and now its gone and i feel all blah about it.. like when i chilled with dean n phil, he was always there being nice n sometimes even flirty.. n when i hung out with them tonight, it was missing and it felt weird.. and i missed him... its dumb, i kno.. but its the little things that got to me... iunno.. *sigh* i think i'm just lonely in general... no worriez... marko must leave my system n he will... just needs time.. :P

that's it.. i'll blog tomorrow

2002-04-25T08:53:00.000-04:00

.:: lookie ^^ ::.

"You are the Two headed creature! A freak of nature you are but also very unique you can do what no others are able to do. So be proud and don't hide your differences."
Take the animal crackers test by MK

that's kinda odd... i'ma two-headed creature --;; lol oh well.. atleast the description is pretty good..

so much shit to do.. in one day, i suddenly have a life tho its kind of under really bad circumstances... so here's my schedule:

-= today (thursday) =-
~ school
~ dance practice for the cultural show (shinhwa dance)
~ chilling with lez @ woodbridge n pines (yaayyyyy, image shotz n sticker pics ^__________^)
~ meeting up with ice n phil @ pines after lez leaves *sigh* toki, i wish u could stay out later.... *hugglz*

-= friday =-
~ going to nicole fierro's mom's wake T.T i kno i'm gonna cry my eyes out...
~ going to the marlboro highschool asian show around 7
~ leaving the show around 8:30 to go see diane for her b-day party @ her house

-= saturday =-
~ going to nicole fierro's mom's funeral T_________T
~ going to my tita (aunt) sandra's house to celebrate little sarah's first communion

and that's pretty much what i'll be doing the next few days.. its a lot to do.. i kno at the services for nicole's mom, i'm gonna be hysterical... even though i didn't know her mom that well.. just seeing nicole hurt like that makes me hurt... death is hard to deal with.. i think nicole is being as strong as a mountain, planning everything and looking over the proceeds to the wake and funeral.. i wish i had the strength she has..

well, that's it..

2002-04-25T00:33:00.000-04:00

.:: what the flying fuck ::.

okay, first thing's first... this is a sad week.. a close friend of mine, nicole fierro's, mom died on monday afternoon from a blod clot after having surgery the previous weekend... it was devastating and all my friends are mourning right now... needless to say.. the week didn't start out so great.. the wake is friday and the funeral is saturday.. may she rest peacefully wherever she may be...

on a completely different note.. the most fucked up thing happened to me.. it wasn't bad.. well, it was semi-bad but it wasn't bad bad... but here it is... a few weeks ago, i met a guy named Marko when phil brought him when we were playing pool.. he was cool, a nice guy or whutever.. we played so on n so forth.. i saw him again at pines when he came with the guys and he was cool then.. so me being the promdate-less wonder, i thought about asking him to prom since he's taller than me (and that's extremely rare to find a decent-looking filipino guy taller than 5'8" who isn't some kind of sociopath) but i decided not to cuz i thought it would be awkward since he didn't kno my friends and stuff... well... turns out that its DAMN good that i didn't... read this (i'll warn u, its long):

*Marko talking on Dean's sn* (dean, phil, n marko are over dean's house)

Filodiva19: hey, ask the guys if they'd wanna meet up @ pines tomorrow night..
Filodiva19: no school friday, yessss
xx I am ICE xx: tommorow is thursday
Filodiva19: this i kno lol
Filodiva19: i have no school friday.. therefore i can stay out late thursday night
xx I am ICE xx: yes
Filodiva19: yes?
xx I am ICE xx: yes i do
xx I am ICE xx: i mean
xx I am ICE xx: yes we will
Filodiva19: lol okie then
xx I am ICE xx: =phil is and dean
Filodiva19: kelvz?? whut about u?
xx I am ICE xx: i don't know bout kelvz and me im goin to rahway to meet a special woman in my dreams
Filodiva19: ohhhh okie
Filodiva19: awwww lol
xx I am ICE xx: im pissed off though
xx I am ICE xx: i can't have her
Filodiva19: oh? y?
xx I am ICE xx: because im leavin at saturday morning and i won't see for at least a year
xx I am ICE xx: by then i think it will be too late
Filodiva19: erf... ur leaving?
xx I am ICE xx: yea
Filodiva19: for?
xx I am ICE xx: back to the marines i go
Filodiva19: ur in the marines??!?!?!
xx I am ICE xx: i thought you knew
Filodiva19: wtf, man
Filodiva19: no one told me this :P
xx I am ICE xx: me, phil, dean been boys for like 5 years
xx I am ICE xx: i would have met you earlier if i was here
Filodiva19: what the-
Filodiva19: wait.. you ARE a marine?
xx I am ICE xx: yea
Filodiva19: jeez
Filodiva19: wow
xx I am ICE xx: yea im stationed at japan
Filodiva19: ooooooo
Filodiva19: that's what phil meant when he said u were from japan
Filodiva19: so wait.. ur going to the marines n ur not coming back for a year/??
xx I am ICE xx: are you surprised
Filodiva19: hellz yeah
xx I am ICE xx: yes i won't be back til march next year
Filodiva19: damn..
xx I am ICE xx: im on vacation
xx I am ICE xx: til saturday
Filodiva19: wow.. i'm like in shock
xx I am ICE xx: why are you shoked for
xx I am ICE xx: i've been a marine for 2 years
xx I am ICE xx: didn't you see my dog tag hangin on my neck
Filodiva19: yah, but i didn't kno that it was cuz u were a marine
xx I am ICE xx: you thought it was for the syle"
xx I am ICE xx: ?
Filodiva19: yah
xx I am ICE xx: well now you know
Filodiva19: damn.....
Filodiva19: that is so outta nowhere
xx I am ICE xx: i don't look like a marine?
Filodiva19: i think dean mentioned u a couple of times.. saying that u went off to the marines n that u can't hang out anymore.. i didn't realize that was u
xx I am ICE xx: yea thats me
xx I am ICE xx: he wants to join too
Filodiva19: well u were wearing an ecko shirt n bling bling.. what was i supposed to think?
xx I am ICE xx: but i tell him no
Filodiva19: yah he told me he wants to
xx I am ICE xx: i like to keep a low profile on my military status
Filodiva19: aren't u supposed to? or something? iunno
xx I am ICE xx: yea we are suppose too
Filodiva19: yah...
Filodiva19: jeez
Filodiva19: aw, ur leaving tho
xx I am ICE xx: i guess it worked
xx I am ICE xx: yup
Filodiva19: too bad.. jux met u n ur leaving
Filodiva19: yah, it worked apparently
xx I am ICE xx: im sure it wont be the last time i'll see you
xx I am ICE xx: un less you go to another state for college
Filodiva19: i am :P
xx I am ICE xx: where
Filodiva19: Boston University
xx I am ICE xx: thats a good college yo go gurl
Filodiva19: thanx.. i'm real excited about it
xx I am ICE xx: what are you gonna major in
Filodiva19: MIS management information systems.. business n computers
xx I am ICE xx: sounds complicated
Filodiva19: its like taking business management and computer scienece at the same time
xx I am ICE xx: im sure you"ll do great
Filodiva19: lol y'know what's really odd?
xx I am ICE xx: what
Filodiva19: since i had absolutely no idea that u were a marine and that u were leaving saturday for japan for a year.. i was actually thinking about asking u if u'd wanna go to prom as my date..
Filodiva19: but right now i'm kind amazingly glad i didn't
xx I am ICE xx: brb watching a video
Filodiva19: k
xx I am ICE xx: korean videos
Filodiva19: what artist?
xx I am ICE xx: HOT and some other guys
Filodiva19: shinhwa? jekki?
xx I am ICE xx: so any way you were gonna ask me to the prom
Filodiva19: yah.. since ur like the ONLY filipino guy taller than me n ur a dork lol.. i was gonna ask u to go with me to prom but i didn't... thought it would be awkard since u don't kno my friends n stuff.. but WOW.. glad that idea didn't come through
xx I am ICE xx: i would've been honord to be your dork
Filodiva19: lol
Filodiva19: aww, tenkiez ^_^
Filodiva19: that's kinda why i was so shocked
xx I am ICE xx: if you would have asked me i would have sed yes
xx I am ICE xx: if i wasn't in the military
Filodiva19: lol minus that detail, u woulda said yes... ^________^ aw, thanx *huggz*
xx I am ICE xx: what guy would say no you are hot
Filodiva19: lol me??? hot? LOLOL yah right
xx I am ICE xx: honest marines honor
Filodiva19: *blush*
xx I am ICE xx: am i dork for real
Filodiva19: lol not in a bad way.. i guess the best way to say it is ur a bug-out... like ur funny..
xx I am ICE xx: thanks
xx I am ICE xx: got to go now
xx I am ICE xx: dean using it now
Filodiva19: okiez... i'll see u later, i guess?
xx I am ICE xx: ok bye
Filodiva19: byeeee

WHAT.............THE..............FLYING.............FUCK...................... he's a fucking marine!!!! WHAT THE FUCK.. HOW DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME??? >__________<;;; aiyah... this shit only happens to me.. here i am contemplating on whether or not i should ask him thinking that he's some college kid doing his thing but he's a FUCKING MARINE... me asking him to prom and him turning out to be a marine is like "hey, do u want some gum?" "no, sorrie, i'm the dalai lama" that's what it feels like... FUCK.. and he thinks i'm HOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT.. SHIT... *bangs head against wall repeatedly* he's 20, he's nice, he's not bad looking, he thinks i'm hot, he lives in japan, he probably knows how to speak japanese, he knows how to use a gun, and every kind of heavy artillery known to man, he's probably ripped, he's probably self-disciplined and DAMNIT, he's even sweet... GOD-FUCKING-DAMNIT... ughh.. once again, this shit only happens to ME.. aright, i'm done..

2002-04-22T19:42:00.000-04:00

.:: played hooky today ::.

and not just every other time that i do... i actually left the house n did something.. i went to the gym n worked out for a while.. it was early, like 9:30 or something... ironic.. i saw Rob Corbo there.. a kid that goes to my school.. i guess he ditched n went to the gym too? lol weird, rah? i saw him and i thought "hey, that kid looks like rob corbo but hotter".. then i realized it was actually him ><;; he's ripped.. O.o so yah, then i went in the sauna for a half hour and sweated my brains out.. for some reason, i like saunas *shrug* then i took a shower n left for woobridge.. got there and i ate at chick-fila which was GOOD AS ALL HELL.. yum.. and then i took sticker pics which are posted in this entry and then i took image shots which turned out really bad ><;; oh well *sigh* then i went to go pick up trina, j, n her sister to practice but suttin got screwed up n trina couldn't go.. so i just taught J.. she learned the whole thing.. she got it really fast.. so yah, that's it..

sticker pix from woodbridge

image shots from today

and sticker pics of me n trina from a few weeks back

n that's it

2002-04-21T18:55:00.000-04:00

.:: bweeeeeeeee ^___________^ ::.

this weekend was fun.. friday i had dress down day and for the first time ever i wore a dress O.o it was kinda sporty so i guess it didn't count? oh well.. so yah, hung out with trina afterschool till austin n his cute friend john came n then we watched the cotillion tape.. they thought that jordan was really hot.. i was like "YOU GO JORDAN" lol.. john was a hottie.. irish n sicilian... good tymz.. so yah, woke up around 3 saturday morning after getting one hour of sleep ><;; me n my dad left for Boston University.. the trip was around 5 hours cuz my dad got lost for one.. we got there at exactly 9 which was exactly when it was supposed to start.. luckilly it started like an hour later.. we went to a lecture and then a tour of the business building and of the campus.. i love the school, its absolutely beautiful.. i'm definitely going there and i think that the business school is really gonna get me ready for work when i graduate.. i think i got into the business school by a really small margin.. they're only letting in 365 freshman or something (and also cuz my SAT scores were WAAAYYY lower than the average that were accepted).. :P but the city is gorgeous and there's so much to do.. i'm so excited.. i can't wait to go to college lol.. lotta hot asian guys there too ><;; u can bring a car frosh year but hey, i don't think driving in Boston is a very good idea.. people are more rude there than in Jersey and that's rude as ALL HELL.. one thing i really like is there's a lotta diversity.. lotta interacial social groups that i saw walking around.. i really like that.. so yah, BU all the way lol. we got home around 10:30 and then i went online n i called jordan and told her about that kid john and said that he could be a potential promdate XD lol she's excited n she wants to see him.. *sigh* its sad that i can find a date for jordan but not for me :P oh well... went to sleep around 1AM.. woke up this morning around 9:15.. i slowly got ready to go to some place in SOmerset to see Ice's martial arts tournament... i got directions from mapquest.com.. so i got ready and i was already late.. i ended up leaving the house around 9:40 when i was supposed to leave around 9.. *oops* but i got there after making a few wrong turns (stupie mapquest.com) and they hadn't started yet.. while i was paying, i heard some guy go "yo, she's wearing UFO's!!!!" like it was some huge-ass deal... lol so i met up with dean, phil, kelvin, marko, this guy jake, n this girl chu ni *i think that's her name? i have no idea* some korean girl from dean's old dojo... it took FOREVER till ice went so we just watched everyone else go.. it was crowded and hectic but it was pretty cool at the same time... there was this one little kid that was a brown belt.. he seriously had to be like 3 feet tall.. he musta been like 6 or 7 years old.. a BROWN BELT.. that's two belts away from black.. ><;; it was crazee.. yah, so this kid was REALLY REALLY good.. he won first place of his division and he got to bring home a trophy that was 2 or 3 inches taller than he was O.o it was crazy.. he was so cute tho.. i wanted to pick him up and bring him home... lol he was carrying his trophy that was bigger than him and he goes up to his dad and he hands it to him and says "can you hold this for a second?" IT WAS SO CUTE!! ^________________^ hrm.. so let's see.. dean FINALLY went up to do his form.. it was incredible.. he was doing a bajillion flips in the air.. dean is like the definition of aerodynamic.. if u looked it up ina dictionary, u'll see his face there.. LOL but he was the first to go so the judges had to give him low scores.. second, it was phil's friend Will but he didn't kno he was supposed to be in the competition... so he actually went out there and WINGED IT.. LOL it was short but it was good lol.. he actually got decent scores better than some other guy.. it was SO FUNNY.. so yah.. dean won third tho he shoulda won first.. he woulda won first place if he went last.. :P so yah, then we went outside and we started doing dances in front of the window lol chu-ni said that i dance like a korean dancer lol.. it was funny.. yah then we went inside n watched some sparring and i wasted the rest of my film so i could get it developed then we left... so here i am.. and i'm about to go get trina's sister's aaliyah cd so i can copy it n work on the tinikling.. that's it.. buhbye!

2002-04-18T00:17:00.000-04:00

.:: HOLY SHIT!!!! ::.

there was a huge-ass mosquito flying around the office just a second ago and then it started flying toward me and it landed on the floor for like a second and i bashed it with a book like 50 times.. lol.. okay, that's random... yah, so me n alfred are talking about the gym n i told him i wasn't trying to get buff but rather get trim and this is what he says:

dispnoybesayin: hehhee
dispnoybesayin: i think you got a noice body
dispnoybesayin: -=D
Filodiva19: lol yah sure
dispnoybesayin: hahha
dispnoybesayin: ::rowrrr::
dispnoybesayin: hehhee
Filodiva19: lol dork
dispnoybesayin: -=]
dispnoybesayin: hehe betcha gym guy would do da sameee
dispnoybesayin: hehee
dispnoybesayin: he be like a liion
Filodiva19: LOL what??
dispnoybesayin: ::Rooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrr::
dispnoybesayin: ::grrrrrr::
dispnoybesayin: hehhee
dispnoybesayin: -=D
Filodiva19: LOLOL ur a dork
dispnoybesayin: yesh i knoe

omg... ><;; he's crazee... arighteez, jux random stuff i think people will find interesting lol... buhbye

oh! n sticker pics me, trina, n alfred took in k-town..

n that's it... chill.

2002-04-17T23:48:00.000-04:00

.:: today was interesting ::.

i have come to the conclusion that ap history is the devil... it sux tho today it wasn't all that bad... i guess it was a semi-devil?? we did group work for the DBQ and i did nothing really besides just copy n paste stuff and print it out... so yah.. that was interesting.. religion, we did nothing.. calc, we did stuff but i was too lazy to pay attention.. that class is just horendous.. so yah.. after school, like i believe it was 13 of us decided we wanted to go out to eat since it was half day so we went to this place called Turning Point but it would be a 45 minute wait since there are like a bajillion of us (this always happens whenever we go out...) so we went to bertucci's and ate some pizza.. it was good times.. the food was good, we had a few laughs... its the first time i've chilled with people for a while... so then i went home and took a nap and got up around 7:40 or so.. got ready and left for the gym.. i went through pretty much my entire workout and i was working on abs when i saw gym guy walk out of the basketball court... i was like "oh, so he's still alive" and i continued on my ab stuff and went out later on.. he had left.. iunno, i didn't mind or whutever.. it was just nice seeing him once again.. he's still hot lol... so yah, i continued my work out and then i went on cardio.. GOD, i haven't been on cardio for sooooo long since i was sick and i couldn't do it.. i have a feeling i'm gonna be so sore by tomorrow.. grrrrrr... oh well... cardio's what's gonna help me lose weight tho *shrug* arightee... i think that's it... i'm gonna finish up my nails n sleep.. its kinda latish...

2002-04-16T23:02:00.000-04:00

.:: it's kinda funny ::.

"i feel like sleeping and not waking up for school tomorrow... it sounds like a reasonable thing to do to me " <~~~~~~~~ i wrote that this last night and i actually ended up doing it...

i woke up this morning and at first i didn't think i had school.. then i realized i did... so then i got up and i checked to see if my mom had work today and when i saw that her and my dad were gone, i went back to sleep and didn't wake up till like 3PM.. then i got up and made some shumai and pizza (weird combo, right?) and went to eating while watching the food channel.. i was all about the food today... watched some cool movie about tibetan monks who were trying to find the reincarnation of one of their teachers.. it was really cool.. it was called Little Buddha.. so yah, then i went to the gym.. did the machines i didn't do yesterday.. and then i came home and now im dying for more shumai which i think i'm actually gonna make as soon as i get my lazy ass out of this chair...

there's this overwhelming sense of apathy coursing through my vains... i can feel it like emptying out through my fingertips as i'm writing this entry.. all i'm thinking is I DON'T CARE... i really don't care about anything or anyone right now... u got dumped by ur girlfriend? get over it. u got an F on ur test? that's cuz u didn't study, loser. ur lonely? so am i, so fuck off. THAT's my attitude to everything right now. its the-world-does-revolve-around-you-so-stop-whining-and-move-on-with-your-life attitude.. it comes out quite often when i'm in the state between sad, angry, depressed, n all the rest of the negative emotions there are.. i must be getting my period soon since i'm so damn moody...

also, everything just annoys me.. hearing everyone's stupid-ass problems and all i wanna say is "ur dumb.. get over it" its really not the usual empathic compassionate type attitude i adopt toward people... i think this is around the time that i put on the bitch armor and just hate everyone... it'll pass soon... no worriez...

oh, i just realized that before i saw gym guy, i was complaining to all hell about how i don't have an object of affection or lust.. well now that gym guy's gone, i once again don't and i have become the asexual being who feels toward nothing and everything at the same time trying to find someone of interest in this monotonous world full of posers and wanna-bes... it really just sux...

and i think i'm done bitching... have a nice day.

2002-04-15T22:35:00.000-04:00

CURRENTS...

Current Clothes: grey sweat pants n a white sleeveless nike shirt.. (came back from the gym like an hour ago)

Current Mood: eh.. feeling kinda sad...

Current Music: nothing, actually.. i don't really listen to music on my comp anymore

Current Taste: nothing but soon to be chicken adobo and rice

Current Hair: up in a bun with a lil slip of hair pin to the right side to serve as artificial bangs.. mostly black.. my roots go halfway down my head

Current Annoyance: having to go to evil school tomorrow

Current Smell: nothing... air?.

Current thing I ought to be doing: my oedipus essay

Current Desktop Picture: just blue

Current Favorite Artist: um... teddy? lol

Current Favorite Group: 1tym-eh.. lol i like linkin park a lot..

Current Book: reading demian and the vampire lestat and the stranger.. a bit too much for m

Current CD in CD Player: upstairs? shinhwa4.. in my car? JS3

Current Color Of Toenails: kinda metallic tanish thingy

Current Refreshment: diet coke

Current Worry: how i'll manage to get through these last months of school

Current Crush: well none actually since teddy is a famous korean rap artist and is currently in guam and gym guy is prolly over there somewhere with him since i haven't seen him in eternity and a half

Current Favorite Celebrity: i'm diggin john leguizamo

LAST PERSON...

You Touched: hrm.. i think it was actually govan... or trina when i gave her a high-5 goodbye

You Talked : my mom when i asked her if she was cooking saging

You Hugged: dean, me thinks.. or egan.. one of those lol

You Instant messaged: lez.. giving her a virtual hug since she lost her glay dl

You Yelled At: prolly some stupid driver on the way from dropping off J and trina today

You Had A Crush On: gym guy.. *sigh*

Who Broke Your Heart: i'm thinking victor? iunno.. whutever

FAVORITE..

Food: anything italian

Drink: diet coke with lemon and creme soda

Color: orange (grey, red, n green on the side)

Album: 1TYM2, Shinhwa2, Aaliyah's latest

Shoes: my skechers n my fake timbs

Candy: lindt white chocolate truffles and starburst lollipops..

Movie: dead poets society, still.. blade, interview with the vampire, fifth element, joy luck club

Song: SOme Day I'll Fly Away from Moulin Rouge and pretty much any song from there

Vegetable: water chestnuts n brocolli

Fruit: mango, banana, apples, pineapples

ARE YOU...

Understanding: i like to think so

Open-minded: yesh

Arrogant: sure but not in a jerky-bitch-i'm-better-than-all-u-scum way

Insecure: ohhh yes.. lol and only about my body

Interesting: i like to think i am

Hungry: i was until i ate my adobo

Friendly: yah but not super-friendly or anything

Smart: yah i guess *shrug*

Moody: yupsh.. especially lately

Childish: dun think so.. if ur referring to dorkiness than yes but just childish-ness, not at all

Independent: yes.. i used to depend on my friends but now i found that i can't rely on them anymore

Hard working: if i'm passionate about what i'm doing.. otherwise blegh

Organized: yah in a sense.. its hard to explain

Healthy: yah since i became a gym buff tho i could start eating well again

Emotionally Stable: yah.. just feeling the stable emotion of sad

Shy: yah tho i don't seem like it tho

Difficult: at times..

Attractive: i am to black guys

Bored Easily: definitely

Messy: oh yesh.. i have claimed the floor of two rooms in my house to throw my stuff all over...

Thirsty: not really

Responsible: i try to be

Obsessed: oh yesh.. with many many things

Angry: yup

Sad: yup

Happy: not at the time

Trusting: not really

Talkative: yes but only if i feel comfortable

Legal: 18, yes.. 21? no

Original: i believe i am

Ignored: yesh its sad

Reliable: eh.. i slack sometimes

Content: not really.. kinda edgy n sad n stuff

Optimistic: not at all but i don't think it makes me a bad person

Deep thinker: lol u have no idea

Self-disciplined: eh.. depends on what the situation is

Sleepy: yes.. dun feel like sleeping tho

Lonely: oh yah

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...

Kill: too many

Slap: too many

Get Really Wasted With: the yakuza n ryce

Tickle: teddy-oppa.. and gym guy.. i wanna see how he reacts

Look Like: aaliyah.. she has the perfect body

Be Like: iunno

Talk to: gym guy n teddy.. n just a buncha ppl

Talk To Online: austin? iunno

yah, that's it.. random survey.. i feel like sleeping and not waking up for school tomorrow... it sounds like a reasonable thing to do to me

2002-04-15T00:50:00.000-04:00

.:: A-HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAAA ::.

lol i took this test to see what kinda underwear i would be (i took it from kristine's blog) n lookie:

Your the thong. Your the spunky one out of all friends.
You keep having fun till it kills you. You always except a challenge and
never back down. You love taking risks and you hold nothing back.

Which underwear are you?

OMG, that is hilarious.. i'ma THONG... lol *sigh* okay, i'm done

2002-04-15T00:26:00.000-04:00

.:: okay, the only reason why i'm blogging is ::.

cuz i'm uploading exactly 127 pics to my picture trail and its gonna take a while for each set to finish so i decided to be productive and write while doing so.. makes sense right? btw, yes, i did say 127 pics so check out my picture trail (tho i do believe that i have like 70 more pics to put in ><;;) click here so anyway, yah today was eventless... i woke up around 2.. i don't know why i slept that long.. i took a two hour nap yesterday *shrug*.. so i got up and we went to church.. i saw trina n her mom n sisters there.. i gave her out sticker pics and the shoes she left in my car from yesterday.. then me and my dad went to attilio's to eat.. i usually order a cheesesteak and my dad orders a chicken parm and then we give each other half of what we have so we have half of each.. omg, today they made the sandwiches so huge.. i was SO full by the end.. so yah.. then my mom called and we bought her one and then we came home.. i worked on the shinhwa dance again.. the only part that i don't have done is the first half of all ur dreams... i'm getting kinda desperate now.. i need to have it done as soon as possible.. the show is in a month... so yah, that's it.. i dun feel like writing anymore

2002-04-14T01:57:00.000-04:00

.:: rutgers down the drain ::.

woke up damn early this morning.. i hate waking up early on saturdays.. me n my dad left the house around 8:30 to get to Rutgers College for an open house.. we got there and took a walking tour on college ave which lasted like all of two seconds.. the dorms there are nasty but they're prolly better on livingston.. (tho that's like minorities-R-us there).. so yah.. i told my dad straight out that i wanted to get out of new jersey and he understood.. we joked around saying that the only reason why i should go to rutgers is cuz they were giving away free coffee at the open house and i defended it by saying that the picnic table we were gonna sit at was all wet so i shouldn't go to rutgers.. it was fun lol.. so yah, we left and went to the post office then the mall where we ate and i got my hair cut.. couple inches.. i don't really like what he did but whutever.. it'll grow back in like all of two months... came home and i napped for like 2 hours when trina called me and told me that we should leave right away for the show... so we left.. i picked up trina and alfred.. i got there with no problem since i was there like 5 hours earlier so we ended up standing outside for forever cuz we didn't have tickets but everyone else in the world did.. finally, we got some.. the show was okay.. the dances were like every other cultural show's dances *shrug* there was one traditional dance and that was it.. oh well.. they were only showcasing a little of their barrios so they prolly picked the moderns to show.. saw a lotta ppl... austin, dale, christian, gladys, rowena, jen, mike santos, roz, james, jayme, aggie, quel, yan... um yah.. other ppl lol.. rex (the filipino comedian dude) was there... damn, he was hilarious.. omg, my stomach hurt so bad.. but it was fun.. no really cute guys.. headed to pines after the show to meet with dean, kelvin, jd, marco, phil, his girl (kinda), this white guy and some guy names ace... we only got to chill for a little while before i had to drive alfred and trina home.. i woulda stayed to see phil (he came after i left) but yah, they had to get home.. some really hot korean guys tho *bites hand* yum.. drove alfred home.. that took forever.. dropped by wawa and picked up some hot pockets and here i am now just blogging.. this is a real short summary of the whole thing cuz i'm too tired to type suttin detailed out :P that's it

2002-04-12T01:05:00.000-04:00

.:: procrastinating once again ::.

yes, i am definitely supposed to studying or doing homework right now but that doesn't seem to be happening.. :P hrm.. so today was whutever-ish.. iunno.. it was just a school day *shrug* went to starbucks and a bakery after school with trina.. i bought a cannoli *drooooooooool* omg, it was SO DAMN GOOD.. it was like heaven in the form of a pastry lol... i don't have the credibility to say this but : it was better than sex. LOLOL hrm.. arightee, let's see.. oh yah, i went home and i was latish for my doctor's appointment so my mom explodes in my face about it saying that i'm sucha horrible kid since i don't keep my appointments.. yah sure.. she can yell as much as she wants to but it won't do any good.. took a two hour nap and then picked up my pictures.. they turned out real hot..i'm working on a picturetrail. it's barely anywhere near done but u can peruse through it as much as u'd like.. i still have 248745474524872524 more pics to add (of course, not that many but i just felt like exaggerating lol).. hrm.. so yah, now my mom wants me to go to PSU cuz she found out that the smeal school of business is like #2 in the country or something like that.. and i was like "but i got accepted to DUS" (division of undergraduate studies).. and i told her straight out.. "if i like BU better (i'll be able to tell when i visit), i'm going there regardless of how good the business school in Pennstate is".. so she says that even if i don't like BU better and i can't go to the smeal school of business that i should go to BU anyway since i'm already in the business program there... but what if i change my major??? then what? i'd have gone to school i didn't really like just cuz i was accepted to the business program first hand??? and if i'm accepted by DUS @ psu shouldn't i still be able to apply to the business school? i really have no idea.. i sent pennstate an e-mail and they said it has to be processed more or something.. when i saw pennstate, i thought it was pretty cool.. nice campus.. nice utilities... the dorms weren't bad.. and everyone that goes there seems to love it minus a few... but iunno, i dunno if i wanna go there.. its kinda just mediocre to me.. there's not really much to do there like andy said.. idunno if i'd be able to live with that or whutever.. bu is in the heart of boston... there's millions of things u could do there.. iunno.. right now i'm kinda leaning toward BU but we'll see.. after i visit there, i'll know for sure what i want... also, when i get the SAR back, it'll prolly influence my decision... i'll need student aid somehow.. especially with boston.. i think that's why my mom's leaning toward pSU now... since its cheaper... *shrug* we'll see.. that's it..

2002-04-11T00:45:00.000-04:00

.:: lol just kidding ::.

okie, so my comment thingie is working lol.. pwuahahahaha.. okie leave a message, luviez *click on 'Comments[#]' and leave suttin to let me kno u luv me hehe*

2002-04-11T00:33:00.000-04:00

.:: aiyah ::.

aright well today was okay.. went to school dressed up for dress down day lol khaki knee-length skirt with ties on each side and a white top.. for some reason, everyone thought it was like the coolest outfit ever.. i guesscuz i definitely don't usually wear that kinda stuff.. oh well *shrug* school went by slow.. i got an hour and half of sleep last night preparing for a culture awareness meeting that we didn't have ><;; oh well.. so yah. went to Party Fair with trina afterschool today.. and that was pretty much it.. as u can see, i've changed my blog around a lil.. it'll get even more done to it once i actually have time to work on it.. cheddy's my theme hehe.. oh, and i have no idea what happened to the link for the comments thingy so i guess i'm just gonna leave it like that.. the only person leaves comments is govan and sometimes brito anyway lol.. um, let's see.. went to the gym.. i think gym guy has like disappeared forever.. damn jun and ghost for jinxing me lol.. hrm, i get to pick up my pictures tomorrow yaayyyy.. er, stupid doctor's appointment..

went to the gym today.... gym guy wasn't there of course.. the usual lot was there doing their thing.. y'kno it really bothers me that every guy in the gym looks at me, they acknowledge my existence, they've been seeing me going to this gym for the past 6 months yet none of them have come up to me and talked to me.. it just makes no sense.. it really really puzzles me.. on friday before we headed to nYC, i was putting on makeup and alfred goes "y'kno, u intimidate me sometimes".. i mean, yah i had thought of it a lot... yes, i intimidate guys for some unknown reason but what, do u look like i'm gonna pull out a can of mace on them or something? am i so intimidating that even guys who want to jump on me can't look me in the face and say hi? i was talking to lez about this today.. i wrote "i don't have a promdate, i don't have a love interest, i don't have an object of affection.. DAMNIT, i'm becoming asexual".. and then i proceed to ask lez if there's something wrong me like do i have a huge sign over my head that says "i don't like guys" or "i'm a lesbian" and i told her "the sick part is that i'm not ugly, i don't smell bad, i don't have the IQ of a cardboard box, and i don't have Hepatitis A or B yet gurls who have any of or ALL of those have guys.. WHAT THE FUCK".. aigo... i spent the next few minutes IMing every guy on my buddy list asking them if they were to see me like in a store or something, would they think i'm intimidating... dale said no, christian said no, ray said yes, alfred was the first one who flat out said "ur intimidating" so i'm counting that as a yes.. SO, there are two versus two.. there were no other guys online UGH.. but yah.. the whole thing is really messing me up... i'm just so sick of sitting here hoping that someone will say something to me but i don't think i'd be able to just go up to a group of guys who already have known each other forever and introduce myself... that's just not me.. *sigh*... well, that's it.. i should get some sleep.. stupie school...

2002-04-08T17:34:00.000-04:00

.:: um yah ::.

i really had no idea what to name this entry cuz i'll prolly end up blogging later tonight.. went to school.. it sucked as usual :P i never really realized how much i hate school.. i guess its a lot more since i've actually had a college experience and now i'm back to my idiotic passtimes.. ><;; so i got my car washed today.. it was SO dirty because of the "snow" @ PSU.. i noticed that when i go to get it washed, i watch my car like a fucking hawk, man.. i enjoy watching it get all clean lol like watching a lil infant play in a waterbath.. lol my baby gettin all clean ><;; jeez, i am too emotionally attached to my car.. OMG, my dad was SUCHA JERK.. when he comes to pick me up from PSU one of the first things he says to me was "chris, i wrecked your car.. i hit a truck in the back" and i was like T.T OMGGGG!!! and he started laughing.. that was SO not funny. i woulda like shot myself if my car was messed up.. THAT WAS SO NOT FUCKING FUNNY.. i really wanted to strangle him after he said that ><;; *sigh* well, yah, my hands are cold and i think i'm gonna go work on the shinhwa dance.. i'll blog later, if there's anything interesting to write about...

2002-04-08T02:18:00.000-04:00

.:: bwEEeeeEEeeEeeEeEEeeeeE! ^__________^

this weekend was a lotta fun.. on friday, i went to nYC with trina n her family like i said.. i got home, blogged, then i got ready for penn state... i ended up staying up the whole night.. it was around 2 by the time i was done packing and i thought it was best if i just stayed awake rather than go to sleep for an hour and wake up late.. (we had to leave by 4:30).. so i didn't sleep at all friday night... we left the house around 4:45.. when we were on the road, i made it a point to fall asleep and sleep the whole way there.. i think i did tho i woke up periodically.. the drive there was pretty... snow-covered mountains (yes, there is snow in PA in april).. got there around 10 o clock.. the tour was supposed to start @ around 10:30 tho we were taking our chances because i didn't make a reservation and it said that the sessions were full.. we got there and we took the admissions tour which actually started at 12.. (we coulda left the house around 7 or 8 rather than 4 ><;;) oh well.. so yah, we had about two hours to loaf around.. we went to this cafe by java company and i ordered a bagel and some kinda mocha drink.. the bagel was good but i wasn't hungry so i only ate half.. and the mocha whutever-it-was was kinda really watery and nasty.. :P allg.. so then we sat there and ate for a while. then we went upstairs to the "real food" area and got some breakfast.. it was pretty good.. so then we headed back to the car and then met up for the tour.. the school looks really good.. i like the campus and so forth.. the tour ended around 2:30 and then i met up with kristine at her dorm... we chilled in her room for a second where i dropped off my stuff then we went to go get some food... we went to a small place called the Big Onion that was right next to the cafe i had been to earlier and we bought some pizza.. then we headed to yusuke and andy's room... YES, i finally met this yusuke that i keep hearing about hehe.. i walk in the room is like squeaky clean.. i'm like O.o but then kristine explains that he's a neat freak.. so we hung out there for a little while.. we watched some television and i looked through yusuke's cd case where i recognized almost all his korean cd's (LOL, that's sick, isn't it?).. so then after that, we left to go to some practice for a cultural show that kristine was gonna be in... it turns out that she was going to do a dance but they told her not to or something.. it sux so yah, we left with a couple of her friends to eat some food and then we came back.. kristine musta introduced me to a million people and the second they'd walk away, i had no idea who they were... allg.. so i sat with a couple of kristine's friends and watched the show.. it was a little awkward cuz i really knew no one and i was kinda by myself for a while but i wasn't expecting it to not be like that so its allg.. the show was great.. the girls dances coulda been a lot better but hey, not all of them have the dancing skills that my friends do pwuahahaha lol jk.. i liked the guys step performance and the tinikling the most.. the tinikling was awesome.. i wish i could something like for my culture show but hah! yah right.. so yah, after the show, me n kristine went with yusuke, andy, this kid vavien (i think that's his name? i'm not sure) and another girl (i forgot her name too blah) to this place called Big Bowl where we ordered food n stuff.. we went back to yusuke's and ate there.. then we back to kristine's to get ready for a party.. it took me a while to get ready so yusuke called and was like "hey, i wanna leave" and he was giving her attitude or something so she got mad.. we met up with them to get to the shuttle... she wasn't talking to yusuke tho.. ><;; he knew she was mad and apologized n stuff but i kno my chibiyah unnie.. we got to the shuttle where we met up with the others and took it to an oriental buffet, where the party was gonna be.. i get in and kristine introduces me to two cute korean guys who were in the driver and passenger seats.. i was all flushed because they were like "heeyyy, nice to meet u" and i was like ^______^;; hi. turns out that one of them was kristine's big.. (i'm not sure what that means but allg) and she said that he reminds her of teddy but he has a girl and she's supposedly "the one".. she was like "so? teddy?" and i thought he looked a little like him.. i mainly just thought this kid was cute but i had to keep in mind the "look but don't touch" thing.. there was one kid in the tinikling that really really reminded me of teddy.. and damn, he can dance.. so yah, i'd like to meet him tho he's prolly got a girl too ><;; so got to the party.. i had to pay to get in which kinda sucked but it was understandable.. at first, the party was real awkward.. i really didn't kno anyone and the only person i could dance with was yusuke andy and his friend glenn.. kristine left to learn some dance or something.. yusuke kept telling me to find a guy and i was like "yah, no".. i didn't really wanna just start dancing with some guy outta nowhere especially when he was prolly surrounded by ppl that kno him, nahmean? so kristine finally came back after god knows how long and i started loosening up after having a few beers.. i danced with yusuke, andy, n glenn... glenn (a 6-foot kinda heavy-set white guy) took a liking to dancing with me.. allg.. i didn't mind.. kristine was freaky as hell... she left and come back and she was like "i just had two shots" i was like "ooohhhhhh shit" lol i knew she'd be fucked up soon just cuz we had already had like 3 beers.. iunno.. i think total, i had around 5 and i had two glasses of this gatorade/something alcoholic.. i wasn't anywhere near drunk.. i just had a looser tongue (i cursed a shitload) and it was easier to dance lol.. me and kristine freaked a lot ><;; it's allg.. she's my unnie and ghost knows she wants it LOL jk.. these guys prolly noticed i had been drinking so one started freaking me like hard as shit.. the guy was like "whats ur name?" and i was like "christine' and he was like "i'm john" and i was SO sore cuz i had been freaking with glenn and andy and kristine >< so after a little while i was like "i'm sorrie, i gotta stop" so i turn to where kristine n the rest were and then he grabs my waist n starts freaking me from the back and his friend grabs me from the front.. so they're both freaking me and i'm hurting SO bad and i was SO tired but i was still into it (since like 5 beers does that) so one goes "do u wanna go to my apartment?" and i was thinking "oh shit" so i dance with them a little more but i was so friggin tired so i was like "i'm sorrie, i can't" and they were like "hey, it's okay.. it's okay" i walked away.. ><;; yah, those were definitely guys that take advantage of intoxicated girls.. but atleast they weren't trying to lead me off outside and they actually asked me *tho if i was actually drunk, i mighta said yes and not realized it* ...so yah, i told kristine that and she was like all near fucked-up and she was like "fuck no! damn, u shoulda been like fuck no, cuz ur too fucking uglee n shit..." so on and so forth.. it was mad funny cuz she made no sense whatsoever.. so we stayed till the party broke up.. lotta ppl were drunk off their asses.. some passed out, others were puking all over the place, kristine was looking after a couple of her lambda sisters and i ended up catching a shuttle back with andy, yusuke, n the rest.. it was a sad site.. seeing all those people all fucked up drinking a lot more than they could handle.. i actually didn't think i could handle as much as i did (since the last time i had drank a lot, i had chest pain and felt dizzy) but i was fine.. so i went back to yusuke's place where i hung out on yusuke's bed and listened to his perry album tho he didn't have my fave song.. out of all the songs he had to screw up on, he screws up on my favorite one ><;; *sigh* when i was rapping to one song, he goes, "oh, u kno perry?" and i was like "yah, i'm really into k-music" and he was like "oh, so ur like kristine" lol i think he was surpried.. oh well.. so yah, we hung out and andy told me that he doesn't really like Pennstate and yusuke tells me that he likes it and that he wanted to go to NYU but he got rejected.. i think andy was fucked up (well not completely) but he was talking random shit and goes "u should go to Pennstate... we'll have fun" but i was thinking "didn't he just tell me that he didn't like it here?" *shrug* oh well.. kristine finally came back and she had an emotional breakdown.. my poor chibiyah... she kept crying and i took her up to the bathroom where she cried some more.. yusuke fell asleep outside while he waited for us.. lol, a girl came into the bathroom while me n kristine were there and she musta seen yusuke all sprawled out against the wall asleep in a wifebeater and some pajama pants.. lol oh well.. so we get back to yusuke's room and kristine insists on sitting at andy's desk and tells me n yusuke to go to sleep.. but we were worried cuz if she fell asleep, she'd hit her head on the desk and could possibly hurt herself.. so we struggled for a long time telling her to get into the bed but she would't.. we eventually got her to switched seats and she sat at yusuke's desk which was a lot better since he has a laptop and she could rest her head on the desk rather than andy's keyboard.. i fell asleep on yusuke's bed (which i felt really bad cuz he slept on the floor) and kristine woke me up in the morning... we went to her room and went to sleep again.. my brother called and told me that they were gonna arrive in an hour.. so i took a shower and by the time i was done, they had arrived.. so i hugged my lil chibiyah and i went home.. i felt bad not really saying bye to andy n yusuke but they were prolly still sleeping at the time i left so it was okie.. the thought of never really being able to chill with them again is weird... allg.. i'll prolly visit kristine again sometime *shrug* yah, so i had fun.. lol after we left PSU, we dropped by pizza hut n i slept the whole ride home.. then when i got home, i slept again and i woke up around 1AM ><;; and i here i am blogging when im supposed to be doing hw that's due in about six and a half hours.. blah.. aright, that's it.. peace

2002-04-05T22:17:00.000-05:00

.:: burbs vs. urbs ::.

okay, so on wednesday, me and trina decided to have a bff's night out. so we got together and we were supposed to go see Blade II since we worship the first Blade but that was kinda outta reach so we didn't and we went straight to woodbridge. When we got there, the place was practically empty (considering that it was like 4PM on a wednesday) so we walk in and after we walk 20 feet into the mall, we see Annez, an SJV graduate from two years ago. We said hi to her and wussup and so forth and she told us that cynthia (a girl who got kicked outta SJV for being in a car when her friends were smoking up) worked at Against All Odds, which was right next to us. So we go in there. And after we say hi to cynthia and we're looking around, this korean kid comes up to us and goes, "hey, do u know julianna? she's asian" ><;; yes, we know Julianna (we call her J for short) and then he goes on about how he saw us ina pic she showed him and he recognized us. He musta had a big crush on her cuz when we told him that we see her everyday, he was like "really??? where???" --;; oh well.. so we moved on.. we walked around, ate some food, laughed at random isht. This black guy and this white guy passed by us and they were like, "hey, how are u ladies doing?" blah blah blah... ><;; me and trina just walked away like always... when we were at wendy's we were sitting there like "the hell? we dress like scrubs (well not really.. jux not to impress anyone like most girls do) and we don't wear make up yet guys are all like 'hey wussup'????" blah, oh well. Then we took sticker pics that were hilarious but they came out all bent and it sux so we took them over again and they weren't as good.. and when i got home, something plastic had been resting on them so some of the ink came off.. i was pissed. *sigh* so then after woodbridge, we headed back to marlboro and i brought trina to the gym.. we just worked out. gym guy wasn't there which kinda sucked cuz trina was actually there with me for the first time.. i think gym guy goes to the gym earlier now.. he used to go around 7 but he gradually started going at 8 where i'd see him all the time but now i don't see him at all.. i think he went back to the 7 o clock pattern during the time that i wasn't there because of drama.. oh well.. we'll see. so yah. AFter that, we went back to Edison to go to Pines. We played a couple of games. THere were a few cute guys there but not too many. It's okie.. it was wednesday. i introduced her to the korean ice pops that i love so much.. lol she liked them a lot. then after pines, we went home and bought a shitload of junk food and watched moulin rouge at my house... trina loved it like wayyyyy. and she slept over.. SO, that was our lil bff outting-ness..
thursday, i did nothing.. i woke up, made a yakuza banner on adobe (which i am getting very good at, btw) check out my adobe skillz ^__________^ and then i went to the gym.. once again, he wasn't there.. no surprise.. went to bed around 3AM cuz i couldn't fall asleep for some reason..
today, i woke up around 8 and got ready to go to the city.. i pulled on a brown tube top and a pair of black ufo's and met at trina's cousin's house... from there, their tito (like an uncle but not really) bert drove us to the city.. we stopped in times square first after going to starbucks to pick up something warm to drink, we went to this place called Bar Code.. it was cute place.. it had mini pool tables and a big arcade.. the atmosphere was really cool. it was bopper but onlee cuz it was like 12 noon.. i'm sure it turned into a bar late at night... we went to Virgin Records for a second.. so then after Bar Code, we met back up at the car... me and sheena stopped at a candy store and by chance, we saw the guy from COmic View who also wrote BAPS.. so we took pics with him... after that tito Bert drove us to CHinatown.. there, we ate and i bought two mandarin dresses, one i'm gonna attempt to turn into my dream prom dress.. then we walked around for a little while..i bought a cute lighter and the guy was trying to sell me a lighter that was shaped like a penis.. ><;; me and trina saw a few cute guys here and there.. a lotta baby thugs.. so yah, we walked around and then we took the subway back to times square cuz the kids wanted to see TRL.. after passing by it like 5 times and being swamped with people (nelly furtado was @ TRL today) we finally left and went to Toys R Us where we took sultry pics with a huge M&M and stared at the life-like t-rex in the Jurassic Park section.. it was good times.. after that, we really had nothing to do so we took the subway again to go to k-town.. we didn't really know where it was but i saw korean characters on a few stores and we found it hehe.. at first, it was kinda like "eh" cuz we didn't kno where anything was but then we found an opane store and there was cool morning glory isht and they had phat sticker pics booths and they had image shots but it was closed ><;; so we took some cool sticker pix and i bought a couple of cellphone faceplates from a really cute korean guy ^________________^ and then we hopped back on the subway to times square to catch the bus.. when we got there, there was this huge rally where a whole lot of muslims got together and waved palestinian flags and chanted and there were guys on megaphones talking about how they were being portrayed as savages.. they had signs like "wake up, america" it was really upsetting... if i had stood there and watched any longer, i think i woulda started to cry.. it was kinda scary.. we had to push through the rally to get to bus station.. it was really scary.. i think that we witnessed a big part of history right there.. they were carrying signs that said that a swastika equals the star of david.. i guess meaning that the power in israel is equal to the fascist movement of the nazis.. i'm not really sure since i'm not really keen on the whole situation in the middle east.. so yah.. then we hitched a ride home on the bus and got to alfred's house.. he kept bugging me about gym guy ><;; i told him that i couldn't feel my lips and he went on about how i wish gym guy was kissing me or something and i was like SHUSH ><;; stupie alfred.. so we hung out there for a lil while and then trina's dad picked us up and drove us home.. so here i am blogging... i gotta get ready to wake up early tomorrow... we have a 5 hour drive to Pennstate..

2002-04-03T00:04:00.000-05:00

.:: LOL, you will not believe what phil said to me ::.

yah, so tonight i went out with phil and his friend to play pool @ pines like we usually do. I was killing to do something on account that i have done absolutely nothing this entire spring break besides sleep.. and eat. :P hrm, so yah.. we get there and we play a few games.. i won some, lost some.. and while i'm taking this easy easy shot, phil goes up to me and says, "so are you distracted by that black guy over there?" cuz there was a black dude at a table next to us and he was wearing a wifebeater.. he was cut but he had yucky tan lines and he wasn't too good-looking (god, i'm so superficial) so yah.. and i was like "you did not just say that" and phil's like "yah, he's sexy" and i just kept LAUGHING so hard cuz he was probably more distracted by the black guy than me.. so i took the shot but i missed cuz i was still trying to stop laughing. SO, i sit down and he sits down next to me while his friend takes a shot and says "i can see why ur distracted, he's as big as a house" and i'm like "yah, well u kno about my gym guy, right?" and phil nods and i say, "Well, he's bigger than him" and phil's like "yah? but he's *nods towards the black guy* bigger down there" LOLOLOLOLOL DOWN THERE.. OMG.. he had just made a referral to this guy's genitalia.. it was SO FUNNY... omg... i couldn't stop laughing for like a bajillion years.. so yah lol that was the highlight of my evening hehe.. i ate a couple of those korean ice pops from the bakery near pines.. yum.. i ate a coffee and a strawberry ^_____________^ i'd been craving those for 012 (forever).. so we played a lil more then we left...
this weekend, i went to virginia to spent easter with my family. It was fun. I got there saturday and went to Price Club.. it wasn't too exciting lol but allg... that night, i hung out at Andrew's house by myself and went online.. tried to write a g-fic but to no avail ><;; oh, i also tried to play Devils May Cry but i got kinda freaked out.. so i didn't :P i heard it was a hard game anyway.. so sunday, i went to church where i stood out in the rain with an umbrella cuz the church was too crowded. Lucky me, that since i'm filipino, i get there late and all the rest of the late filipinos are in the back too because they're late.. and i'm standing in between two flip guys (prolly around my age) who keep glancing at me.. ><;; one was cute.. kinda reminded me of rufio XD so yah, that went well.. we headed over to my auntie angie's house where we ate and watched Invader Zim which i hafta admit is a really really funnie show hehe.. it was kinda weird cuz everyone telling my mom "oh, christine is so sexy" LOL.. it's cuz i've dropped a few pounds and i was wearing a skirt and heels (which is definitely not something normal) so yah, that was funny lol... i took a few pics with my cousin david and i took some of my family.. it was good times.. i bought lipstick that stays on for like days unless u remove it with this special remover or with toothpaste.. YES, toothpaste.. its good times but the color doesn't seem to be too great on me ><;; oh well.. so yah, then we went home.. sunday night, i took some nyquil and i ended up sleeping till 5PM the next day O.O so yah, lol.. i'm never gonna take that again unless i'm sleeping at a normal hour like 10 or 9 :P

i've been feeling kinda lonely.. the weekend when i was all sickly, i was supposed to do so much stuff with people but i skipped out on it since i was dying... but i regret not doing it now.. i was supposed to go to the mall with lez n rochelle, pines with dean, kelvz, phil, n his "girl" and on that friday, i was supposed to go to Denise's to chill.. but i didn't since i was dying.. and i kinda regret it now cuz i haven't actually chilled with anyone since the yakuza met up.. i was trying to get together with people tonight but everyone was either not allowed to go out, or too tired, or working, or going out with someone else and i didn't really have anyone to hang out with.. thank god phil was able to tho.. or else i'd prolly be sitting here sulking about it lol.. i'm hoping people are free for the next few weeks or something.. i need some serious down time with people.. that's it.

2002-03-28T23:13:00.000-05:00

.:: got this survey from trina's blog ^_____^ ::.

sevens the #

~*7 things you are scared of?*~

1. being burned to death

2. being tortured

3. losing friends or family

4. getting breast cancer (a lotta ppl in my family have it ><;;)

5. letting my parents down

6. never finding love

7. dying alone

~*7 things that make you laugh?*~

1. all my friends

2. stupid jokes

3. cute stuffed animals

4. sakura diaries

5. stupid commercials

6. stupid people lol

7. bugging out

~*7 things that you love?*~

1. my life

2. family

3. friends

4. my bed

5. sleep

6. food lol

7. umm. stuff, iunno

~*7 things you hate?*~

1. fake people

2. bad drivers

3. my computer

4. feeling lonely

5. being sick for a week at a time

6. having meat stuck in my teeth

7. anyone in my school besides a select few

~*7 things you don't understand?*~

1. how guys have erections without even remotely thinking about sex

2. the meaning of life

3. how a downy ball works

4. how people can be so cruel sometimes

5. how anyone could hate mr. palmer

6. why everyone takes life for granted, even me...

7. why someone egged my car a couple of weeks ago ><;;

~*7 things you have on your desk?*~

1. a make up compact

2. a bottle of tylenol

3. one empty baon

4. a computer (obviously)

5. pictures

6. a little baby phat bag full of makeup

7. receipt for the card me and trina bought mr palmer

~*7 things about you?*~

1. i'm filipino

2. i'm tall

3. #'s 1 and 2 make me very odd

4. i'm obsessed with 2 strangers (gym guy and teddy)

5. i'm determined and aggressive but can be shy at times

7. i'm standing right behind you (just kidding)..

~*7 things you want to do before you die?*~

1. go sky diving

2. get married and have kids

3. see the world

4. get the nerve to talk to guys i'm interested in

5. find my soulmate

6. get piss drunk

7. make sure that my parents are cared for

~*7 things that you love about the opposite sex?*~

1. the way they act so dumb when they wanna get ur attention (which is kinda annoying at the same time)

2. the way they want u more when u ignore them

3. the feeling of being held

4. knowing that he thinks that ur the most beautiful girl in the world

5. knowing that he's whipped lol

6. when they buy u gifts that they kno u'll like

7. when they say something that u only dreamed they would say

~*7 things you can do?*~

1. integrals (calculus)

2. draw

3. sing

4. dance

5. write

6. um, walk?

7. have a buncha black guys follow me around?

~*7 things you cannot do?*~

1. back hand springs

2. breakdance

3. stay awake during calc

4. do things right when they're assigned

5. tolerate church

6. wiggle my ears

7. drive stick

~*7 people you want to meet.. dead or alive*~

1. cheddy (that's teddy in case u didn't kno, which u didn't)

2. my soulmate

3. gym guy LOL

4. any new people.. i need to expand my circle of friends

5. shinhwa (that's only counted as one)

6. the son of a bitch who made school 8 o clock in the morning

7. jet li so i can give him a big big hug... he's sucha cutie ^_^

~*7 movies you watch too much?*~

1. Jurassic Park 2

2. Emperor's New Groove

3. The Joy Luck Club

4. any movie i rent (i watch it like 4 times b4 returning it)

5. any disney movies

6. la bamba

7. um yah.. can't think of anymore

~*7 things you wish you could change*~

1. my damn hips.. they're getting big again

2. my inability to talk to gym guy

3. going to st johns

4. my skin.. it's all nasty

5. my doctor.. i miss my pediatrician

6. that i look 4 years older than i am

7. that i live so far away from my family

~7 random weird facts~

1. chocolate contains the same chemical in it that stimulates orgasms

2. dolphins are the only other animals that have sex for fun

3. dogs are able to have sex standing back to back

5. the biggest penis in the world is a sperm whale's and its 5 feet and 6 inches long

6. the ugliest gurls in our school have older seemingly attractive boyfriends and it sux

7. my mouth is dry

(notice that everything that i listed in this one is all perverse except the last one :P

aaaaannnnnddd that's it :P today was okay, i guess.. school went by kinda slow.. we finished watching amovie in religion about the corruption in northern ireland and watched another movie in history.. then third period, we surfed the web to find sites on calculus in motion and i got 100 on the quiz i took yesterday.. it was great.. and then fourth period, we watched toy story and sat around.. then after school, i picked up garbage to make up for a saturday suspension.. i dropped by mcdonalds and went home and took an hour nap.. i drove to edison to see a doctor and he told me to take some new medicine.. then i went back home and i went online and talked to the yakuza for a while.. then i went to the gym and gym guy wasn't there.. and now i'm here filling out surveys and i think i'm gonna check in we have toy story two which i really doubt we do but i really feel like watching it.. that's it.

2002-03-27T22:02:00.000-05:00

.:: tummy wars ::.

i'm at war.. with my tummy. it's been growing quite large on account that i've been eating crap-ola for the past month and i haven't been working out as efficiently.. it's not really my fault tho.. i'm kinda sick and i can't do any harsh exercises that make me sweat or else i break out into a bad bad coughing fit.. so... now i have a mini-gut and its quite uglee.. i can't wear shelf bra camisoles anymore cuz it sticks out... mebbe its just cuz its that time of the month and u always think u look like crap during that time??? :P so anyway, yah.. at 1:30 tomorrow, spring break starts... THANK GOD.. i REALLY REALLY need it SO badly... i've been feeling so crappy and i just need to sleep and get some damn rest...

at any rate, i saw gym guy today for the first time since a week before the play... so its been about a month? a little less... he wasn't exercising or anything.. jux standing at the counter talking to the ppl behind it... he looked at me when i walked in but that was pretty much it and when he left.. i wanted to talk to him but he wasn't even out on the floor exercising and my dad was at the gym too so that woulda been weird... so yah.. nothing really came of it... but it was nice seeing him... i thought mebbe he just stopped coming to the gym all together but i guess not, huh?

everyone's off to kairos for the next week... me, govan, kim, and vanessa are like the only people not going... oh well. i hope they have fun tho... hrm.. so that's it.. i gotta go do some work...

2002-03-21T21:56:00.000-05:00

.:: y'kno what's really weird? ::.

brito told me that he makes it a habit to read my blog right before he writes in his.. lol he must think i'm an obsessive freak... and i am... but that's okay. AT ANY RATE. i am sick as hell and it's killing me. I think i've coughed up a lung and a small part of my liver and i can't even feel the tip of my nose cuz that's how many times i blow it. SO, my life sucks cuz i'm sick but otherwise, i guess it's okay. Stupid mr shepherd decided he wanted to go out of his way to report me and Christina to the dean for being absent from school but showing up to play practice. BUt the dean cut us a deal and instead of getting a Saturday suspension, i'll just hafta stay after for an hour on a half day. It's a really good deal, if u ask me. TOo bad for sheppy. His plan to utterly ruin us didn't work. THe bastard. so anyway, i got a much lower grade on my calc test than i thought and all because of stupid stupid mistakes such as not reading the directions or copying the problem down wrong... that is SO irritating. so anyway, yah. I eventually got a 90.. but i coulda gotten a 96 if i read the stupid directions for one problem... hrm.. what else happened? nothing really... i'm still sick lol.. um... yah, that's it. blah. i'll blog laterz or something.

2002-03-19T22:54:00.000-05:00

.:: there are way too many stupid people in the world ::.

okay, so today wasn't that bad... i got to dress down which was good (thank god Trina told me like last minute or else i definitely woulda gone to school in uniform and woulda sucked)... i wore a pair of black UFO's and a black T-shirt (that i think i look hot in, btw) that says "Filipino. American." on the front in big bold white letters. so you could say that my chest attracted much attention today. It's a T-shirt promoting The Debut, the movie with Dante Basco about Filipino-American familes and so forth. I wanted to wear it cuz not only does it look damn good on me but also cuz i wanted to be comfortable since i'm sick as hell. (cotton T-shirts are another word for comfortable)... so ANYWAY, yah.. everyone was like "that is the cutest shirt" of course, they didn't get it. ><;; oh well. ew, i was joking with Brandon (this kid with a big ass who worships NSync) and i was like "yah, i'm wearing this shirt so that guys will look at my boobs" (since there's huge white letters right in that area) and he was like "no, judging from the play, you don't need anything for that. you have enough already, i was like 'whoa, where did those come from?'" >__________< ewwwwww.. and then he gave me a hug and goes, "and i'm gonna give Enciso a hug with her big you-know's" i was like "AGH! GAG!" ><;; he is so nasty.. so anyway yah.. the day wore on pretty well.. took two tests... think i did decent on both of them.. :P then i went home... i slept for a few hours and then i headed to Target to buy some stuff for the little girl we have to get stuff for for Religion... i bought her purple PJ's and a big fuzzy duck and two things of candy.. i hope she likes them.. i spent 40 bucks on her lol... the duck is so cute.. if there was another one at Target, it'd buy one for myself... so anyway, yah. THen i went to the gym. Gym guy wasn't there. I just worked out as usual. Nothing really interesting happened. THere were these two dumbass girls there today tho (i've seen them before but today, they were just plain irritating)... there's one that's blonde and skinny and there's a brunette that's pudgy.. so the blonde is one some machine and she has a considerable amount of weight on it.. but she does five reps and walks away. i'm like O.o okay, that was pointless.. and then the fat girl sits on the chest press and there's a thing where u can push down with ur feet to aid ur first movement but she just used that thing she was like "i'm doing this wrong" and she just kept doing it. i was seriously about to hurl my water bottle at her. UGH. i mean, u go to a gym, u spend 65 dollars a month to go there and all u do is sit around like a lazy ass and look at the guys. it is SO frustrating. i just wanna kill stupid people like them, really. SO, that was pretty much my day... eventless. TOmorrow, i have a calculus test that i simply HAVE to ace.. if i don't, i'm gonna die...

2002-03-19T00:46:00.000-05:00

.:: they say diamonds are a girl's best friend... personally, i think cookie dough from the canister is ::.

yes, i think i'm gonna be getting my period soon.. i'm eating a shizload and i'm just not stopping... i just ate two blocks from one of those tollhouse cookie thingies that u just break off the pieces and bake them... it was good times lol so if ur wondering where that title came from... there it is. so anyway, the last showing of Lil abner was yesterday.. all the seniors got roses and i even got a bear from Allison Remuzzi. It was kinda sad. it was our last show ever and all. my parents, trina, her sisters and christian came.. i only got to chill for like a second tho. then i had to leave for gidget's house. It was kinda scary cuz Kate Schultz was following me and at a light, she got out of her car. but the light turned green and shannon (who i was following) drove off so i followed and then Kate followed. Then at the next light, she got out again and was like "my car, like swerved and i can't drive it in the rain... can i ride with u?" so i was like "sure" so she pulled her car into a parking lot and we left for gidget's party... thank god she was okay tho. So we got to gidget's after getting lost a couple of times... it was cool.. we played twister with two boards and there was a lotta good food... (lol everyone was like "what's this?" and they pointed to the lumpia shanghai... lol i had to explain that they're little eggrolls but with meat instead of vegetables)... so anyway, there were a lotta pizza bagel bites and GOD i LOVE those.. ugh.. i musta eaten like 20... so anyway, yah. then we hung out and watched some kids play Star Wars on the X Box.. that is the COOLEST game ever... i actually used up a whole role of film.. it's crazy.. all the pics are gonna look like one big orgy tho... ><;; oh well... yah.. as always, the party turned into a big orgy...we're all lying on top of each other and in different positions... lol christina just comes up to me and straddles me on the couch saying "did u do the history packet?" lol hayden was like WOOHOOOOO... ><;; oh well.. it's scary that kind of thing doesn't even phase me... so i got home around 11 or so... i stayed home today without my parents knowing.. i gotta stop doing that... but yah.. sleep is good... and here i am blogging when i'm really supposed to be studying for history ><;; oh well... that's it.

2002-03-17T02:39:00.000-05:00

.:: you're never fully dressed without a smile ::.

from Bye Bye Birdie in case you didn't know. It's been a while since i last blogged. a lotta stuff has happened since monday (that was pretty much the last time i blogged) The week kinda went by like really slow... i kept falling asleep in Calculus which kinda sucked cuz now i don't really know what i'm doing. I think i'm gonna hafta go to him at lunch to get what i missed. We had rehearsal every day till around 10 at night. It was brutal. Wednesday, i took a day off without any reason. I just really felt like sleeping in and i didn't have any homework done. Friday was dress down day for the cast and everyone made a huge deal about my outfit which makes no sense cuz i was just wearing a t-shirt and a pair of flare jeans (tho i haven't worn jeans in like 3 years ><;;) so yah, that felt kinda weird. Friday was also opening night for Lil Abner, the musical that i'm in. It went pretty well i guess but the music was kinda off and stuff. We went to steph's house afterwards and hung out for a while. Egan and Christina had a nasty nasty break up ><;; i was kinda upset about it but, hey shit happens, right? Today, i woke up around 11 or 12 but i actually got out of bed around 2 LOL i got ready for the show and the headed there. my parents were so funny. I was cleaning my room (kinda) and then i hear my mom go "Hello?" and then my dad goes "hello?" so i go out to see what's going on.. then i see them from upstairs... they have a karaoke VCD and they're gonna do some karaoke LOL so i take a shower and i can hear them singing and i walk by and mom's like "CHRIS!!!! CHRISS!!!!" and i'm like "what?" and she's like "how do we sound?" and i just laugh LOL. and they started laughing and my mom was like "was it that bad?" lol it was cute. They were supposed to see the show tonight but they decided to go ballroom dancing instead LOL. my parents are odd. So anyway, the show went really well but everyone kept messing up their lines ><;; it's all good tho. It went really well especially music-wise. After the show was over, we went to go hang out with Govan, Egan, Jeff, Nicole D, NIcole C, and Kim at a diner. It was good times. Govan said that i looked really hot ^_______________^ yaayy, i'm hot hehe. so anyway, yah, then Denise told me that one of the freshmen thinks that i'm really hot and i'm O.o cuz the froshes are all not cute and half of them are eye leval with my chest (probably why they like me) so anyway, yah. I went to James's house afterwards and we played... some game, i forgot what. it was fun though. Being the drama club, of course we associated it to sex the whole time ><;; oh well. Then we watched parts of godspell *sigh* i miss that so much ><;; so that's it. I came home afterwards and here i am blogging for the first time in forever. I haven't seen gym guy since monday and its kinda frustrating but hey, mebbe i'll see him on this coming monday since i don't think i'll have much to do, rah? lol... god, i have no life without drama...

2002-03-11T22:49:00.000-05:00

.:: STOP CALLING ME WARREN!!! MY NAME'S NOT FUCKING WARREN!!!"

just in case u don't kno where that's from, it's from Empire Records... it's the kid that keeps lifting stuff from the store and ends up working there... good movie, good times.. so if you're wondering where in fuck's name that quote came from or why its the title of my blog entry it's because Warren might possibly be gym guy's name. Now, i'm not really sure. But an on call came on today and said "Warren, please report to the front desk". Right when that was said, gym guy gets up and leaves his machine and heads toward the front desk. (iunno if he actually went there) then he came back and he had a lady-friend with him.. which kinda made me a little jealous... she was latina and she looked kinda oldish.. (like 25, 26, atleast) i think she was the same latina girl that he was with when i first saw him. odd right? i hadn't seen her since. So anyway, his name might be Warren. lol that's kinda funny lol.. so anyway, i wasn't expecting to see him today.. he usually doesn't come on mondays, ever and seeing him there was a big surprise. Of course, i was half hoping he'd be there but i didn't actually think he would be. When he walked in, he came in with another asian guy. THis guy was shorter and not cute. (he wasn't ugly or anything but not particularly attractive).. The shorter one was wearing a durag. and his chest was thicker.. he was actually a lot shorter.. mebbe a few inches... (that's short lol).. so anyway, they went around and worked out... they worked out on a machine behind me for a little while then left.. then i worked out on a bench somewhat next to them and then i left... then they followed me to the press machines... gym guy was literally two machines away from me... i'd catch him looking at me in the mirror and he'd look away... then his lil latina friend came and i went to do crunches... when i got back, he was gone... i didn't mind. i wasn't expecting to see him in the first place. i've come to conclusion that the youngest he is is 22.. he has such old-looking friends... he was talking to the hot guy at the counter today somewhere near me and they were talking about a club and how he's going somewhere on march 23rd... iunno how old the guy behind the counter is but he seems like 19... SO, i'm not sure... he is so deceiving.. i bet he's convinced that i'm like 22 tho.. ><;; *sigh* oh well... so anyway, today was pretty cool.. i didn't go to second and first period in order to help with the play and setting up the stage.. we got a lot done and it felt pretty good... i found out a lotta stuff about what happened on friday night at Christine Kuscinki's get-together.. lol i'm kinda really glad that i didn't go only cuz of all the drama (lol drama in drama) that happened... i'm not really of liberty to say what happened... so anyway, mr. sheperd was once again the asshole of the year today.. me and christina asked him if we could help in the little theater during his block and he gave us this big attitude saying that we didn't know our priorities and such.. y'kno, if he had a problem with us skipping out on his block, he coulda just said no... stupid ass.. grrrr... drama went pretty well.. i actually enjoyed it a lot more than usual tho i was still dying to get out... then i went home and then i went to the gym and u kno that whole storie... so that's it. i'm sleepy but i gotta practice stripping for my part in the play lol...

2002-03-10T22:48:00.000-05:00

.:: chicken nuggets and rice ::.

that's what i'm eating right now.. a perfect combination of american culture and asian culture blended onto a single plate and soon to enter my still yearning stomach.. these past two days i've been thinking a lot about everything.. college, friends, relationships, so forth... not that i don't think of that stuff all the time... but i talked about it to a lot of people... on friday, i talked about it to that kid alan.. and then yesterday with my brother.. alan was telling me about racial discrimination in pennstate and how its all different there... for some reason, it didn't seem to phase me tho... and then i started thinking.. "does he think that i only have asian friends?" well, it might have been apparent since i was hanging out in an asian pool hall with only asian people at the time but do i really seem like the kind of person who doesn't interact with people outside the asian circle??? it just seems odd because i have so many friends that aren't asian that i am just as close to than any other asian friend.. my brother was talking about how in college, things are really different that no matter what you'll meet new people even if i go to rutgers... but i'm not even sure all that applies to me... when he went to highschool, he hung out with highschool people... i definitely don't... all my asian friends are in college.. they go to rutgers or mcc or essex... i hung out with them when they were seniors in highschool and even tho they've graduated and went off to college, i still hang out with them all the time... so then why wouldn't i, when i go to college at rutgers, hang out with them once again? not that i don't love my friends.. it's just that i've been dying for a change in surroundings.. i NEED to get out of new jersey... yada yada yada.. i'd write more but i'm too lazy... i don't feel like being the intuitively genius person that i am right now pwuahahahaha lol jk.. um, yah.. today i woke up around noon and i went to the mall to find a lab coat.. there were no uniform stores around cuz freehold mall is gay and so i just bought some stuff and left for woodbridge.. i got there and loafed around for a bit and found a uniform store.. i bought a lab coat for like 25 bucks.. not bad cuz the first one i picked up was 40 and i was like O.O there was no way in hell i was gonna spend that much money on a labcoat... so anyway, i went to korean store and bought some pens and stickers n stuff.. that was good times.. then i went home.. DUDE, i like sped all the way home and i never went under 60.. i'm so bad ><;; one of these days i'm gonna get caught... so here i am... blogging away hoping to GOD that something interesting actually happens sometime this week... i need some action... i'm so sick and tired of listening to the same old thing... UGH..

2002-03-10T02:00:00.000-05:00

.:: UGGGHHHHHHHHHH ::.

okay, i wrote this whole big thing but i lost it cuz my comp froze and i hate life.. so anyway, i'm just gonna summarize this as quickly as possible: friday, i had a pretty good school day even tho i thought i wouldn't... i got a 95 on my essay in english and the rest of the day went pretty well.. govan told me i have nice legs which is actually very helpful since i think i have really nasty legs... drama was okay.. it was dragging.. after drama, i went home, got changed and asked my mom what time we were going to dinner for her birthday but she didn't tell me and was being difficult so i just left... she coulda just told me.. i woulda came and ate dinner and spent the rest of the night with her but she had to make it difficult for me so whutever.. i didn't care.. i went out with ghost and toki (kristine and lez) and we played pool and ate popsicles and food.. jun came later (rochelle) and then we saw diane, rae and jen so we chilled with them.. then this guy alan came (ray's friend) and they played pool for a while.. then we went to alan's place and he thought my car was nice and tried to test me by going on the backroads to his house while i was following him.. he said i was right there tho which was good... we watched movies and hung out.. alan's this average asian guy.. really tall, skinny and pale... but he has WASHBOARD ABS.. omg.. each ab is clearly defined.. lol i asked him if could touch him tummy and he let me... LOL, it was like touching a wall... i told him he was a wall with a shirt on LOL.. so then we watched tombraider and then i left for home... today, i went out and bought my costume (which is a short hoochie red dress which sheer trails and stuff... REALLY short.. just like two-three inches below my butt lol) and then i bought my mom a precious moments doll of a nurse and then we went to church and then dinner and now here i am and i'm blogging and i hope to GOD that this fucking saves or else i'm gonna have to yank someone's heart of their chest and eat it raw.. that's kinda nasty but i'll do it.. peace.

2002-03-07T23:25:00.000-05:00

.:: if i could kick myself in the ass, i would ::.

and not just once... many many many times. four words: I.... AM..... AN..... IDIOT. ugh. okay, in the entry before this one, i remember keenly saying that i was determined to talk to gym guy if i saw him today and that i would and that it was settled... god, i can talk the talk but i can't walk to the walk... the rest of the day seems absolutely meaningless. i went to the gym after drama today and i tried to look my best so that i could talk to him. i get to the gym early so i can take my time lifting (which i did.. and it actually felt really good.. i should do it more often)... so anyway, i lift for a while and he's not there. i was secretly hoping he'd be there but as time wore on, i wasn't too sure he was going to be. i worked out like usual.. and then he came in around 8:15 or so... i saw him and i he saw me and he saw that i saw him.. it's just all confusing.. so i just kept with the work out.. i went on my usual machines and we were working out on opposite sides of the gym... after a little while, i went to around the same area as him and worked out (no, not just cuz i wanted to be near him.. but it was the next exercise i was supposed to do)... i noticed that when we see each other, we play some kind of game.. he walks by me to get my attention.. i ignore him... i walk by him to get his attention he doesn't do anything.. this happens like every two seconds.. he definitely did it like 8 times today... there was this one situation where i was on the chest press.. in the mirror, i could see him walking behind me and passed me to the back room.. so i continue to work out and then he comes out an entrance in front of me but he had taken off his shirt and was wearing a wifebeater... then he goes back to some machine on the other side of the room... oh, then he randomly comes over to my side of the room again... there was some other asian kid (not bad looking either) next to me on some machine and then gym guy comes over and walks passed me.. then he sees a guy he knows and talks to him for a little while and then walks right passed me again like really close to me.. i seriously thought he was going to come up to me and talk to me... but.. he didn't. so basically.. he was exercising on machines like across the room from me.. but he walked across the room several times just to get my attention.. today, i was actually looking back at him... and i didn't care.. i wanted him to see that i was looking at him... the tension builds so much when i'm near him... he was doing squats in front of a mirror right next to wear the free weights are and i needed 8 pound weights for shoulder exercises.. so i got them.. i was directly behind him maybe three feet away from him and i just picked them up and left.. i went to the back room where i started doing those exercises.. as i finished, i went back out to put the weights back... and he was going toward the back room... i still had to do crunches in the backroom... SO, i put the weights down and head back to the room where i see him at the b-ball court.. he sees me go into the small room and follows... there are a buncha people in there.. but i was planning on doing some ab exercises.. so first, he was stretching on something and i start doing crunches on a ball.. so then he lies down like two feet away from me to my right and starts doing crunches.. i had never felt so self-conscious in my LIFE.. he was seriously like right next to me... then i'd get up a rest a little and he'd start stretching again.. (he stretches in some weird positions, man lol).. so anyway, i finished my crunches and then i started on the back extension... and he did something nearby.. and i was just DYING to talk to him... but i couldn't.. and i don't know why and i REALLY just wanna shoot myself for not talking to him and now i hafta wait another whole fucking week before i can see him again... *sigh* it is SO frustrating... why can't i just say anything to him??? GOD.. i'm gonna be all blah till like forever now... so.. yah.. there was another accident on 9 again.. i don't know what's going on.. but there are SO many accidents on 9.. i'm so scared to drive on it now... there's one almost everyday.. oh yah.. i was walking out of the lockeroom and practically bumped into this kinda shortish blond guy.. and he goes "oops sorrie" so then we're walking out and when i'm heading for the door, he walks in front of me again and he turns around and he's like "hehe, sorrie i'm always in your way" and he smiles.. it was cute ^_^ i definitely like it when guys are cute like that hehe.. that kinda made my day woohoo lol, i'm dweeb, i kno.. so anyway, that's it... i'm gonna go sit in my bed and wish that i had talked to gym guy.. ><;;

2002-03-06T22:49:00.000-05:00

.:: grrrrrr ::.

aright.. before i used to see gym guy like every day during the week.. now i only see him once a week on Thursdays and i'm feeling quite deprived... i was driving home today and i kept rehearsing in my head over and over again what i'd say to him if i ever talked to him... i'm feeling so determined to. it's hard not seeing him everyday and since i don't.. i need some kind of action from him. if i see him tomorrow, i am going to talk to him. That's it. It's settled.
so anyway, the play is okay.. for some reason, i just can't get my solo out right and blah but otherwise, it's fine.. i still hafta find a costume... dude, there are so many accidents on 9 and i'm getting scared... there was one on Saturday night on the way to Pauline's party... then there was one the same day when Ice and Phil were on their way home. then there was one today... 9 got really backed up.. i couldn't even see the accident.. i only knew cuz of the police lights... so i took an alternate route to the gym. No one was there but that's okay.. it's wednesday and it was around 8:15 by the time i got there. so anyway, yah. i'm kinda scared to drive on 9.. a lotta asshole drivers out there. so anyway, i had off today.. i slept till around 12 and then i went to school and did the play thingy and it sucked cuz today was my day off but i had to go to school. rar. oh, and i have practice everyday this week till 6 O.O but i'm leaving early on friday to chill with lez. no way in hell i'm gonna stay there till 6 on a friday. OH! and i have practice on SATURDAY.. THAT'S SATURDAY. from 10 to like 1 or something and it SUX... hopefully i get to chill with the cotillioners. blah.. and that's it. hopefully i see gym guy tomorrow... i'll feel a lot better. AND i'm GOING to talk to him damnit.

2002-03-05T00:40:00.000-05:00

.:: finally... salvation ::.

aright, i don't think it's normal when you're getting bloody noses every 3 hours, is it? I got one earlier today during AP History but it didn't last too long... and the stupid school nurse decided she wanted to hang out in the dean's office and it pretty much stopped by the time that i got to tell her i even had a nose bleed... i got one later on the way home from school (it was really short tho) and then another one after i took a shower... and then after that, another one after i got home from the gym... i really don't think that's normal people.. so anyway, today was blah. i didn't feel like doing anything and therefore i didn't but i did at the same time... does that make sense? of course it doesn't >< so anyway, school went by okay then i went to drama where we actually somewhat did stuff which was scary... me and Jamie went to starbucks and declared that drama is hell and as we get closer to the little theater, we drawn farther and farther into the fiery brimstone... u can tell that we're science fiction junkies. So anyway... today was okay drama. I have practice AGAIN tomorrow which sux ASS but hey, i have off wednesday except i hafta be at school at 1:30 which sux cuz i prolly won't be awake then. So anyway, i went home and took a shower and then i went to the gym. The second i walked in, i could already tell i wasn't going to have a peachy time. I put my stuff in a locker and i saw these two girls come in and they were giggling and they were lIke "omg, this is so why i like to come to the gym after school cuz all the hot guys are here" i was pretty much sitting there thinking "shoot me in the head.. or better yet, shoot them in the head" so anyway, there a bajillion girls running around in spandex and little tank tops flirting with the guys at the gym and they'd all be smiling at them and flirting and i'd just sit there and be disgusted. those bitches gave me evil looks... just cuz i don't hafta prance around in skin-tight clothes and bat my eyelashed at every guy that passes to get noticed, thank you. so anyway, now that i'm passed the bitter-ness... the wigger guy at my gym shaved his head *droooooolll* HOT DAMN... he looks SO DAMN GOOD with his head shaved... i seriously wanna bite his sweet ass.. jeezus. wow. so anyway LOL that's enough of me SF-ness pouring out my system... and then i went home and i chatted for like forty years with ppl and it was good times... oh! gabriel made me a tag ^_________^

there it is.. my akio tag.. bootiful ain't it?

*Akio places his glock smack against ur forehead* think fast. *BANG* ............ too slow.

..one.

2002-02-23T01:32:00.000-05:00

.:: *yawn* ::.

question: WHY ISN'T ANYONE LEAVING NOTES IN MY DAMN DIARY??? I DIDN'T DOWNLOAD THE DAMN PROGRAM FOR NO REASON!!!! GRRRRrRRrRRRrrrRrRRrR -___________-;;

tin_teena <===== is drinking the hate-orade

pkay, i haven't written in a while so i'm just kinda make this short. Tuesday, i had a weird run-in with gym guy and his barkada (Filipino word for clique or group of friends) and he hangs out with this latino guy mostly. So i was on my machines like usual and they started going on these machines right around me. I was in a really pissy mood cuz my discman was practically dead and i really wasn't in the mood to work out but i hadn't that much last week. So then they start following me around. But at the same time, i'd finish up my sets and move on to the next machine somewhere else as if i was running away from them. So finally, they go to the backroom. And i see them go there. So went upstairs and did some ab exercises and some shoulder exercises trying my best to avoid going into that back room (where i had to go eventually do my crunches).. so after i take like a year upstairs i go downstairs and to the backroom. As, i walk into it, gym guy walks out and he's holding a volleyball which i thought was really cute btw.. and then i start doing crunches in there where the latino guy and his friend are watching me. Eventually, they all left and i knew they were talking about me cuz it was so damn obvious. and i was like pissed cuz i went into the room, i gave them every opportunity to talk to me, and they didn't say anything like childish high school kids musing over the new girl. It really irritated me that men who are probably around 20 or OLDER still act like the guys that are roaming around in middle school hallways. RAR. so anyway, the next day, i went back to the gym. I saw gym guy. he walked by me just to show that he was there and i saw him looking at me when he went to grab his shirt. So the day went by pretty well. The hot wigger guy was there. he is HOT. LOL (obviously, his nickname being HOT wigger) so anyway, i skipped my leg exercises cuz my quads were sore like a bitch and i go to the back to do crunches. Lo and behold, gym guy was in there smacking a volleyball against the wall. So i go in anyway, that woulda been painfully obvious if i just turned around and left. At first, he picked up his stuff to leave but i started using this big rubber ball on the other side of the room for crunches so he went right back to smacking the ball against the wall. I was ALONE in a ROOM with gym guy for atleast 3 minutes. It was so quiet and awkward and i didn't have my headphones on cuz i can't listen to them while i was on a ball and it just was really quiet and i wanted SO bad to talk to him but it didn't happen ><;; i'm sucha imbecile. So anyway, this lady comes in and wants to use the space that gym guy was taking up so politely he leaves. i continued my work out like normal. I didn't see much of gym guy. i had gone to the gym kinda late so i wasn't surprised when i got out of the backroom and didn't see him. I assumed he left. I was on the lateral push-down and i saw him and the latino guy walk by. i was surprised to see them still there. So they were walking to the locker room and suddenly, gym guy breaks into a run. i was like O.o so i see him and he jumps like FIVE FEET into the air and hits the top of this things that covers the walkway leading to the dance studio and i was like O.O he seriously like jumped atleast 4 feet into the air and i thought it was amazing and then he ran off. THat kinda makes me think twice on whether or not he breaks but i don't think he does or else he'd have some kinda cuts or bruises on his body. His skin is perfect. They eventually left. So finished my work out and then i went home. Yesterday, i was SO tired after drama. I got home and went to bed and i didn't get up till like forever. I woke up for an hour and went back to bed. I wanted to go to the gym to see gym guy but that didn't happen. So anyway, today i woke up and i was feeling SO crappy. I was feeling sick AS HELL. So then i didn't wanna go to school but i had to pick up Trina since her mom was getting her car fixed. BUT, i got to her house and she wasn't going to school and apparently, my phone ran out of battery and it's either she called when i was in the shower or called and i didn't hear. SO, i went to school with nothing done. I didn't have my thesis, my outline, my prewriting, i didn't have my history packet, or my journal entries done. I was fearing third period when i get my Calculus test back that i knew i did amazingly crappy on. And it was just the worst day of my fucking life cuz i am so afraid that i have mono. Egan got mono and i'm afraid that since all of SFG swaps drinks, i mighta gotten it from him which would explain why i'm always so tired and also why i'm all of a sudden so sick. So anyway, the day went by okay. I got my Calc test back and i got an 80. that's actually a LOT better than i thought i did. and i was pissed cuz i coulda gotten a higher grade if i just checked the test over. I made a lotta stupid mistakes. Then last period, we got to vent about our problems and i was telling everyone about how i only got accepted into two colleged, Rutgers and PSU and then Collins (an irish varsity basketball player who's like 6'3" and has a body shaped like a ruler) goes "hey, me too!" and then he asked me what campuses and i told him Rutgers College and PSU University Park n he was like "me too!" and i was like "yay, BFF!" ^_^ and at the end of the period, he goes, "hey, Christine. I'll see you in college, right?" and we talked about it for a little while. I thought that was sweet. That made my day. Just a gesture of friendliness from someone that i don't really talk to is rewarding. So anyway, i went home and sat around for a while and went ot sleep. Govan texted me and told me we were meeting at Christina's house at 8:30. I got ready and Govan arrived aroun 8:20. (i actually told her 8 so she's come around 8:20) so anyway, i ate some pizza and then we headed over. I'm really getting sick. I don't know if it's mono or what but i'm sick and it's bothersome. So anyway, we eventually get to Christina's house where we hang out for a little while and then skip over to Pathmark. We bought Egan flowers and some mint chocolate chip ice cream (his fave). I bought myself a little pint of Ben N Jerry's Low-fat Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream and a chocolate bar. I was in the mood for chocolate as you can tell. so anyway, we headed over to egans and he came out and we chilled. I gave him my tulips (which were very pretty btw) and everyone gave their flowers. And we talked outside for a while. Jeff told his story about what happened with his ex-girl Nicole today and it was all so dramatic as we waited for Kim to come. So when she came, we headed off the Blockbuster to rent a movie. After pointing out every movie known to man and talking about it, we finally decided on The Omen. SO, we went back to egan's place and hugn out and watched the movie. We talked about other people and it was good times. Everyone ate my Ben N Jerry's but at the same time that's a good thing cuz i woulda consumed it all if i brought it home or had it all to myself but it kinda sux cuz if i DO have mono.. EVERYONE at Egan's place has it now besides Jeff. I thought it was cool cuz jeff was actually talking to me. We hang out with the same group of friends but he never really seemed to open up to me. He did tonight. It was good times. So we stayed till around 12:30 and i headed home. And here i am. I'm kinda tired and i should go to sleep but since i took a nap and all, i'm not all that sleepy. I hope i can hang out with Ice tomorrow.. i haven't seen him in a while. And i think that's it. Thank god, i don't really have too much hw this weekend. and JUST KIDDING about this entry not being too long -- oh well..

2002-02-18T00:09:00.000-05:00

.:: um.. stuff ::.

i really didn't know what to call this entry so i named it that. I was tempted to call it "diarrhea cha cha cha" but that would just be kinda nasty and childish. So anyway, this weekend was pretty cool. i woke up on Saturday morning like waaayyyy late cuz i was supposed to leave around 9 for Virginia but i woke up around 8:50 and we ended up leaving like 10. So anyway, i was in a really pissy mood cuz the second i step out of my room, my mom goes "you're not allowed to use your car unless you learn how to clean your room and to help around the house" or something and she starts yelling at me about how i didn't cook rice even though i don't EAT rice everyday after school. blah so i was in a really pissy mood. We left the house around 10, as i said, and i just slept and listened to my discman the whole way there. We got there pretty early and then i ate and slept again. (this weekend was just full of sleep). So the reason why i was going to VA in the first place is because of my unlce's 50th birthday. The theme for the party was the 50's but my parents, being the retards that they are, didn't know what the 50's were about. I told them poodle skirts aand scarves around the neck and something like Grease. So i thought they would come up with something but they got lazy and they were pretty much the only adults at the party that weren't really dressed up. so anyway, i just showed up in a t-shirt and UFO's cuz iunno.. i felt like wearing it *shrug* so anyway, i get to my cousin's house and the second i walk in, my cousin Brian goes "wussup, thug?" and then he says "how excited would you be to meet Brian from FTTS?" and i'm like "REALLY EXCITED" in a sarcastic voice. He hasn't talked to me about what's really gonna happen. Hopefully i'll REALLY get to meet him and he won't just BSing me. So anyway, i venture farther into the house and the my cousins appear out of nowhere and they all hug me at the same time and i'm like "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" i really wasn't in the mood for the over-friendly-ness. So i walk into the dining room and i see a buncha people i don't kno and then i see David's ex-boyfriend Eric. So they all stop talking and look at me and david goes, "everyone, this is my cousin Christine" and he introduces all of them to me and stuff and i'm just smiling and nodding cuz i SO wasn't in the mood to be saying hi to people that i didn't kno. So anyway i loafed around and eventually said hi to everyone. Everyone was looking at me weird. not sure why but hey, allg. So then the night went on. I chilled with the cousins and talked about random things. I chilled with David's friends who wanted to take me a gay night club since i'm 18 and i can but i had a feeling my parents wouldn't let me. So anyway, the night wore on. We listened to speeches and did lines dances like normal. We watched some parts of Brotherhood of the Wolves and it was okay. Not all that tho. By the end of the night, i was exhausted and i said bye to David and the gang. On the way home, my dad was like "y'kno you should take dance lessons... everyone was saying that you're a really good dancer".. i was like O.o i only did a couple of line dances? ><;; oh well whutever. Then these second cousins were there and they were cute but their second cousins and even though they're not in any way related to me, it's just kinda really dirty so blah. So anyway, let's see. The next morning, my mom was trying to wake me up for church but church is never fun for an atheist and i just pretended to be sleeping the whole time and they eventually left me there. So i slept and i woke up around 11. I got ready and we were heading over to this far-away movie theater to see The Debut, a movie about a Filipino-american family. it stars Dante Basco, the guy who plays Rufio in Hook and it was AMAZINGLY ACCURATE. like everything was right on target. it was pretty cool. So i watched it and afterwards, there was two guys selling merchandise. I got this combo thing where you buy the t-shirt, a book, a soundtrack, and a poster for like $49. ><;; i cannot believe i spend that much money... but yah. So i got that because the cute guy that was selling it conned me to. ><;; i'm sucha weakling. So anyway, yah. i got my stuff. We chilled for a little at my uncle's house and then we went home. So that was my weekend. I'm kinda blah cuz i found out that JD, Ice, and Phil wanted to chill on Saturday and they were looking for me all over and they wanted to go to Chinatown and i was like NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! #1.. i wanted to chill. #2.. i NEED to go to Chinatown to get part of my dress for prom (of which i still haven't found a date)... and.. yah. BLAH UGH. i swear, EVERYTIME. GRRRrrRrRRRrrRrRRrr.. oh well. that's it adios.

2002-02-16T01:35:00.000-05:00

.:: today rocked ^_____________^ ::.

well, at first, it didn't. I got to school and i was in the worst mood ever. I was SO tired and everything just got me pissed and i wanted to throw someone out the window. By lunch, i was okay tho. It wasn't like i was like WHOOPDEEDOOO but i wasn't all bitching. And then by last period, i guess it was all good. I found my Palm Pilot ^___________^ i was SO happy. I found it in my religion binder O.o i guess i left it there from like a century ago? ><;; oh well. So anyway, i went home and went right to sleep. I woke up around 6:30 and then i got ready to go to the gym. I can feel the fat like expanding on me. I gotta get my act back together when it comes to my diet and exercise. So anyway, i went to the gym. There was like no one there so i called up Trina and asked her if she could go to the movies. She could so i went home first, changed and headed to her place. We stopped at the mall first. It was around 9 then and the mall closes at 9:30 O.o but hey, i was hungry so we went in anyway. As we were walking up to the door, these black guys were standing outside and one was freestyling and he was like "you punk gangster" or something stupid that made no sense so me n Trina were like AHHHH and we kinda just ran in. LOL then we saw these teeny-bopper girls who were wearing different color pastel shirts and i go "OMG, you're like totally wearing a different color pastel shirt than me" lol, trina laughed for a year. Then we went to the foodcourt and ate some. We made fun of the fat kid on DDR. :P he really need a towel or a wash basin to catch all the sweat.. it was quite nasty. (lol, i'm so superficial) so anyway, then we were heading to Epic to get a bag that Trina wanted and these lil white kids were trying to pick us up. They were like "hey, fellas" and another kid goes "Ai-yay" and me and Trina were like O.o so then we pass a group of black guys and as we were walking away, one goes "hey!" and they were trying to talk to us. We just walked faster LOL. we definitely have really odd encounters with guys ><;; so we left the mall after we got Trina's stuff (she bought Baby Phat bag) and headed to the Freehold Movie theater. there was like 5 cop cars there and were a billion teenagers standing outside i think waiting for rides or something? to make things worse, we got inside and there were like 6 movies showing and we didn't know what any of them were ><;; so we just left and went to regal Cinemas. When we got there, the only thing that we could see was Black Hawk Down but i felt like talking so we went to this weird diner-thingy somewhere near it. So we get in. The waiter comes up to us and yah, he's pretty cute. So he starts talking and he was THE...LOWEST...VOICE... EVERRRR.. but it was hot tho lol. so he's like "what can i get you ladies?" and he's being way too overly nice. So we were just joking around and we wanted to get some desert. And so we order some. he was all like leaning on the table and i seriously thought that he was gonna sit down with us at one point. So then he goes "are you two depressed?" and we're like O.o i guess cuz we were out and we were eating junk? LOL oh well. So he was like "how was ur valentines" and we were like "eh" and he was like "did u have valentines?" and we were like "no" and he was like "yah, neither did i" so i proposed that we be communal valentines LOL. so he kept talking to us and stuff. And it was a lotta fun. We were talking about our weird encounter with guys and how the waiter guy popped out of nowhere all the time. So then we were finishing up and i was like "hi, uh, can i have the check?" and he stops and he looks at me and he gives me like this pout and he's like "you're ready for the check? *sniff* fine" and he gets it and we're like "aww" lol.. he was cute.. YES lol. So we found his name was Allan but he pronounces it uh-LAWN and we were like O.o but hey, he was cute and nice so all good. LOL he told us to visit again. then we went back to Trina's place and we watched Suger and Spice (that movie about the cheerleaders who rob a bank) and then i came home. Today was so refreshing LOL. it feels good when you get hit on like every two seconds haha. and by a not-so-bad-looking-waiter with a sexy-ass voice ^_____________^ arighteez.. that's it. i'm leaving for VA tomorrow...

2002-02-13T21:48:00.000-05:00

.:: a good and bad day ::.

yesterday was shit. i felt like shit.. everyone felt like shit.. partly because of valentines day and partly because all this bad isht is happening... trina's having relationship problems, kristine's having them too, my parents were all pissy that i told them i had to get my license today when i had told them a million times before, i couldn't (and still can't) find my palm pilot, and... that's pretty much it. Yesterday was blah day. I was feeling kinda eh cuz i saw gym guy and i got once again all depressed that i don't have a man *sigh* so anyway today wasn't so bad. This morning, i went to pick up Trina for the first time in a while. It was weird. and DAMN, i didn't even realize how early i hafta wake up when i pick her up ><;; so anyway, there was a mass but i didn't have to go to it since i had to take this test for my school. It's like this goverment standardized test that tells how good the education is in New Jersey. Iunno... i think from our school, it's gonna drop like 110%. so anyway, that was cool. First period was okay. We just talked about once again, random things. did we learn anything? i don't even remember? oh yah.. the only thing i remember was Mr. Palmer asking he could use white out on our foreheads (because the kids had gotten ashes for ash wednesday) and we were like "no, that's okay" and i go "not unless you have Filipino white out" and the whole class laughs. LOL. i didn't even think it was that funny. so anyway, second period was the same as always. i felt bad for Govan cuz she was doing all the work while me n Jen talked for like an hour. I owe her >< SHeppy's turning into an asshole. Someone should remove the other half of the meter-stick-of-justice from his anal retentive ass. So anyway, yah. Lunch came. Since i took that test this morning, i got to get a free entree for lunch. I bought Mac N Cheese and it was actually pretty good. Then we had a culture Awareness Meeting but not a lotta ppl showed up. It's all good tho. We talked about Chinese New Year. Third period, i went to Calculus dreading the grade i got on my test. I GOT A 94!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was like "OOOOOOOOOOO EAT IT! AND EAT IT AGAIN CUZ IT TASTES GOOD!!!" HELLZ YEAH. lol.. that's like the highest grade i've gotten in the class ever. oh well. then last period was the same as always. Mr. Smith talking about himself and we watched a movie about Jesus n stuff. Then the day started turning to shit. I was planning on going home, showering, and drying out my hair for the picture on my license but i found out that we had drama today after school. I had missed the last three practices so i thought it only sensible to go to this one. So i went. I was so pissy though cuz i had to drive Trina all the way and all the way back to school which means that i drove to and from school FOUR TIMES today. And i couldn't even get my license because the DMV closed at 4:30. Yah, we learned stuff but i learned it in two seconds rather than like 2 hours. so i got home all grumbly. I started looking for my palm pilot immediately and i still can't find it. I really don't have a clue where it is. I THOUGHT it was at home. hopefully it is and i'll just find it when i'm not looking for it like i usually do. I went to the gym around 7, like i usually do. Gym guy wasn't there but the other hot asian guy was. I noticed that the other one is like thicker. His face his thicker and his body. He's like the Gap version of gym guy though gym guy kinda resembles the other guy a lot nowadays. Gym guy doesn't thug out that much anymore (which kinda sux) but hey, he's still one fine-ass mofo. LOL. there were a lot of really hoochie gurls at the gym today.. it was annoying as shit. oh well whutever. so worked out and then i headed home and here i am. I hafta study for history and i hafta do english homework. blah. tomorrow's v-day and i'm doing absolutely nothing ><;; i was telling trina that if tomorrow, i go to the gym and gym guy's there, i am definitely gonna talk to him. I mean, if he's at the gym around 7 on valentines day, that definitely means that he doesn't have a girlfriend or a love interest or even a valentine. Iunno. but if he's not there... i guess i'm just gonna hafta live with the entire gym population knowing that i'm single :P oh well. soooooo.. that's it, i think. i gotta study and do the bajillion things that my mom decided to dump on me since she assumes that since i'm on the computer that i'm not doing anything productive :T i swear. i need to get out of here. BLAH. that's it.

2002-02-12T23:15:00.000-05:00

.:: the past few days ::.

okay, i have written this entry over and over but my computer hates me so i haven't been able to publish it. I'm gonna make this simple. Friday, i tried to give blood at the NHS blood drive but they rejected me because i had too little iron. That's when you know you're really useless. They don't even want your friggin blood. So anyway, later on, i met up with Lez and Rochelle at Livingston to watch a breaking competition. I saw her object of lust, Mark who has two nipple rings which i saw when he did a few hand spins. LOL everyone was like "oMG! he has nipple rings!" lol it was funny. So the cops came and broke up the competition so i didn't really get to see much. Then we went to go play pool. But we ate at the italian restaurant we were at the weekend before and that stupid 40-year-old guy hit on us again. He called me bella (beauty) when he handed me my calzone. So anyway, we played pool for a while. I won two games. Rochelle was really good but she got distracted when Lez's other object of lust, Jose, called Rochelle on her cell phone. So then i split. On Saturday, i went to go pick up my mom from the airport. She had gotten back from the Philippines and i now have a new cellphone case ^__________^ yaaayyy, it's all purdy. On Sunday, i went to a baptism in New York City. it was okay. I saw Moulin Rouge and Fast and the Furious. Moulin Rouge was great. Fast and Furious needs some tweaking. On Monday, nothing happened. Today, i was going to McDonalds with Trina and as she was pulling out of her parking space, she accidently knicked the bumper of the car next to her and she started freaking out so i had to pull out her car and she was really shaken up. So shaken up that when she tried to pull out of the parking space again, she couldn't do it. SO, i kinda just did it for her. So we went to McDonalds and ate stuff and then we went to Hopshing. I went home and slept and then i went to the gym to meet up with egan. So we were chilling there. The second i walked in, i saw gym guy and then one of the gurls behind the counter starts screaming really loud at Egan, "YOU'RE GEORGE!!" and he's like "um, no. I'm Mike" and she's like "no, remember? i used to call you george" and then this whole thing happened where she was telling every living soul that Egan was george. Someone shoot me. so anyway, gym guy looked kinda blah cuz i had brought a guy with me. And for some reason, the guys were being really stare-y at me today. There was a bunch of older guys that were lifting next to me and the song "are you that somebody" came on the radio. And they all started singing O.o A bunch of 28-year-old men. Big as houses. Are singing Are you That somebody. THat's just screwy. So then there's a guy that starts rapping the Timbaland part when it's really only the second verse and he's like the whitest man ever. It was SO funny. I was trying so hard not to laugh. So anyway, yah. Egan was on a machine and i was talking to him and he goes "hey, is that asian guy over there the one that you like?" and i'm like "yah" i thought it was funny that he pointed him out. So we chilled for a while and went on some machines and then i went home and now i'm just chilling like a villain. whats up with the sheezy for neezy? what's the drilly silly? okay, i'm gonna stop. and........ that's it.

2002-02-07T21:43:00.000-05:00

.:: i am so drained right now ::.

i went home today and i ate something real quick then i slept for three and a half hours. I was only planning on sleeping for one a half but of course, i turned off my alarm once it went off and just crawled back into bed. I don't think i had a dream. When i woke up, my clock said 8 but since my clock is around an hour and a half early, i knew it was around 6:30.. i usually leave for the gym around that time. So i pulled myself out of bed determined to get there. I was surprised to see my dad downstairs just loafing around. I told him i was going to the gym and he was like "are you okay? you look tired" and i guess i did. So i left. The drive was okay. SOmetimes my driving is really jerky but the drive was smooth on the way there today. So i got there. I didn't see gym guy but for some reason, i didn't care. I think i was that tired. So i started on my machines. Normally when i'm there, i work out efficiently and i try to get the best out of my work out. but today i was so out of it. I just kinda stared off into space not really thinking about anything. And then gym guy walks in and i look at him and then i look away. Normally, i would sit there and kinda steal some glances at him (which i did but not to the same extent) but i wasn't totally into looking at him though he was looking really hot. He was sporting a pair of jeans and a tightish black sweater and clung to him just right. It had a zipper that ended right below the pecs and he had it unzipped all the way down so i could see his skin. wow.. he looked good. for some reason, he stayed at the counter for like 4 minutes and talked to the guy then i stared off into space. I kinda just wandered off in thought and when i looked back at him, he looked down like he was afraid that i had caught him staring. That kinda made my day. Though if he was looking at me, he was prolly thinking "god, that girl is a zombie today".. so anyway then he left and i went to go work on some more machines. by the time i was done with bicep curls, i seriously could not stay there any longer. I was SO out of it. I couldn't feel anything. The two wigger-guys were looking at me again (one of them is REALLY hot) but hey, i was in a comotose state so at the time i didn't care.. and right now i kinda still don't care but whutever. I saw my dad, he walked in just as i was done doing crunches and i told him i was going home. He just nodded. i think he could tell how tired i was. So i went home. The drive was really smooth tho i think i cut off a van. My bad. Got home and ate some ravioli and now i'm blogging. I weight myself at the gym today. I've lost six pounds since cotillion. I was really really surpised. After cotillion, i kinda dropped my diet and i'm eating all this bad stuff. I thought i was gaining weight but when i looked at the scale i was like O.O (but in a lesser state since i was half-dead). That totals 18 pounds that i've lost. I could have lost a lot more and sooner but i think its kinda better this way. I'm losing weight gradually and eatings things that i wanna eat. It's good times. Let's see. yah, i'm supposed to be going to Livingston to a watch breaking competition with Lez. It's supposed to be good times. Hopefully i find my way there okay. and..... that should be it. blah. maybe i'll blog later if my intuition kicks back in.

2002-02-06T22:59:00.000-05:00

.:: *bangs head against the wall repeatedly* ::.

OMG, someone seriously hurt me. I am SUCH AN IDIOT. ugh... okay... let's start from the beginning, shall we? Okay, today was pretty decent, i suppose. I started off the day waking up late as hell with the excuse of "i don't hafta pick up Trina" keeping me in bed. So i finally got up and took a shower and actually dried my hair straight today. I left the house iunno when but it was around 15 minutes later than i usually leave and i actually got to school at the same exact time i usually do. So anyway, i went into school. I was feeling pretty good about myself in a white T-shirt and cream colored baggy fleece pants with my fake timbs. Thugged out and sleek yet comfy. It was some good times. I got a lotta compliments too. (iunno, for some reason, ppl like it when i'm thugged out :P) i noticed Joe Namio, Pat Giannini, and Kevin Ip looking at me prolly thinking "wow.. she can actually pull off looking ghetto" so anyway, first period went by quickly.. i had a test. It was kinda really hard but i studied so i think i didn't fail tho i kno i didn't ace it. Palmer likes me tho.. he knows i read the stuff. And then second period, i had another test. that one was okay. I dun think i did too great but i dun think i failed either. *shrug* we'll see... lunch was lunch and third period was third period. Last period, was religion. We watched What Dreams May Come. Really sad movie. And then school ended. We went to a pizza place and chilled. it was me, Egan, Christina, Tony, Jeff, Govan, and Kim. We ate pizza (of course) and talked about random things (of course). Then we left. I went home and attempted to clean my room (which is still left unclean) and then i went out the gym. Now today was a good day. I was feeling appreciated with my clothes and my hair down. And before i left for the gym i plucked my eyebrows all nice n stuff and i my hair was still down and i went in a lil shelf-bra tank top just so i could get his attention (i've worn it countless times before but he hasn't seen me with my hair down ><;; *i think i look really different than when i wear it up*) So i go to the gym, at first gym guy wasn't there. I was okay with it. I walked around covering up my tank with a gray DKNY fleece that i'm wearing right now, still. i went on my machines. A couple of guys gave me looks prolly cuz my hair is down (i really do look different with it down). So i'm on a machine, i'd been working out a little while, i was done with lower body and i just finished up my first set of ab exercises, i was feeling really hot in the fleece but i kept it on. I didn't wanna be too exposed in front of the two really hot wiggers who were exercising behind me and kept looking at me. Blah. So then gym guy walks by. I wasn't even sure it was him but i got a closer look and it was. He said hi to the two wiggers behind me and started to work on one of their machines. by this time, i was on my second set on the machine and i was pushing 10 pounds more than i usually do. So i got up, i was sweating. I hate sweating. So i pulled off my fleece and i had on my tight-fitting white shelf-bra camisole. I know at that moment, gym guy and the two wiggers stopped and looked at me but i just got back on the machine and kept exercising. Yes, i guess in a sense, i did it right at that moment to get his attention. y'kno like, "hey, i'm stripping, look at me". I knew the two guys were talking about me and gym guy started using the machine almost directly behind me. I watched him from the mirror now and then seeing that he was looking at me. After finishing up on the machine, i went to the one right next to it. The wiggers were still talking about me, i saw they'd look whenever i got up to stretch during the break between sets. Gym guy ended up going on the machine like almost directly behind me again. I tried so hard not to look at him though i now i felt like i should have. Then I went to the benches where i worked with the 5-pound weights. I got that feeling he was following me again when a minute after i started doing sets on the bench, he started doing shoulder lifts with some free-weights a few benches down from me. I just tried not to look at him yet again. I didn't see too much of him for the next 10 minutes though i was on a machine relatively close to the wiggers. They prolly thought i was following them around. -_-;; then i went back on some other machines. Gym guy got a drink of water in plain site of me. I think he knew i could see him so he stood at the window of the studio and watched it for a while. Then he walked by right in front of me, turning his head slightly as he passed. I just looked at the ground. I don't know. I can't talk to him. No matter how many times i rehearse it in my head, i can't do it. I just look at him, directly at him when he's not looking and i can't move. It's like i'm stuck in time "time bends and disappears" (part of the poem i wrote about him) and it's really sick and pathetic and i really just wanna lock myself up in a room. ugh.. he gets me so frustrated and i'm feeling sad now.. blah. that's it

2002-02-04T23:54:00.000-05:00

.:: absolute bliss ::.

i don't know if it should be considered sinful to enjoy a long hot shower so much... but i just spent an hour in my bathroom and i seriously did not wanna get out. I took one of those really long lazy showers with the water hot so the steam can enter my lungs and instead of rushing through shaving (which i do constantly) i took my time and made sure there were no nicks and didn't press too hard to get razor burn. Then i shampooed with a kids shampoo that smells like orange sherbet and lathered up in Warm Vanilla creamy body wash. I got out of the shower feeling amazingly refreshed and then i went into my room and groomed myself for half an hour moisterizing my skin. Then i slipped on some comfortable underwear and a long T-shirt. I put my hair up all messy not even bothering to brush it, letting the water cool my scalp while it dries. I don't know but it's moments like these that you feel as close to being a goddess as possible. *sigh* i really won't be able to sleep now or even attempt to do that huge english assignment. maybe i'll attempt it later when i've snapped out of my stupor.. i think that's it. Hopefully i haven't grossed anyone out lol

2002-02-04T23:41:00.000-05:00

.:: it seems like old times again ::.

today was a pretty good day for me... i didn't have to take the English test i was supposed to first period, that was a plus. Let's see... the day went by pretty much like usual.. boring, with a buncha teachers who blab aimlessly and expect us to learn something from it :T allg. so anyway, afterschool, i had to stay for drama. I went with Christina to McDonalds and at first i thought it was gonna be awkward since it was me, Christina, Costa, this girl Linda, and Mike Marielle.. i don't really know any of them that well but when we got in the car everything seemed to work out fine. I was actually joking around with Costa for the first time since forever and Linda was really funny. I was surprised, Marielle was the quietest. He usually talks a lot. But i was glad that i could interact with people i'm not too close to. There was this moment when Christina was driving by a sushi place and she was like "i like sushi" and we were all like yaaahhh but Costa goes "i like that tempura shrimp sushi" and i'm like "that's not sushi, honey.. it's cooked" LOL Linda thought that was so funny. so anyway, we went back to the school and sang some and then we learned the dances again.. somehow, just for fun, me and Tony started doing the cha-cha from my cotillion and Ms. Filosa like flipped out she was like "oh crap! oh crap! oh crap!" and she ran off and she was like "don't move! just stay right here!" and then she comes back with a buncha people including Ms Scalso and she makes us do the dance again. Suddenly, the entire cast wants to learn how to do the cha-cha and the tango from my cotillion.. it was SO funny. We tried to teach megan and STeph but they didn't catch on too quickly. OH, and Egan is now in the spring musical. They saw him dancing the cha-cha with me and they were like "do you wanna be in the show? do you kno how to sing?" and he goes "uh no" and they were like "oh, listen to his diction, he must know how to sing" SO, Egan is in the play now LOL i think that's hilarious. So anyway, we did some more singing and it sounds okay. Then we did the song on stage and i think it looks pretty good. SO, drama is slowly becoming very enjoyable. I went home and chilled for an hour and then i went to gym. I was hoping that gym guy would be there but he wasn't. ><;; *sigh* but the other hot asian guy was there. he was playing basketball. good times ^_^ so anyway, hrm... yah that's it. Supposedly tomorrow Egan and Tony are going with me to the gym but i dunno if that's gonna happen since it costs $15 to come in a guest. I think i'm gonna tell them not to come since that is a shiet load of money to just walk around a gym? ><;; so anyway, that's it. i think i'm gonna go do some hw..

2002-02-03T21:32:00.000-05:00

.:: to all those who read my blog ::.

you can actually post comments now.. i installed this thingy that allows it.. just click on the thing at the bottom of the entry that says "Comments [some#]" and another window will open... the comments will save to that window.. that's it! ^____^

2002-02-03T20:02:00.000-05:00

.:: i actually did stuff ::.

yesterday, i actually went out and had a life. Let's see. Well first thing, i got up around 1 cuz iunno... i just did. So i waited for my dad who went to the bank, gym, and staples (no not simultaneously) to come home so i could tell him that i was going out with lez. i would have just called him but he didn't have his cellphone on *kicks her dad's cellphone*. So anyway, he finally came home and i ate pizza. It was good times. I rushed through a shower and headed to Edison. The traffic wasn't too bad and the weather was just heavenly, i mean it was beautiful outside so i didn't mind the drive as much as when me and Trina went to woodbridge and it rained like all hell. So anyway, i met up with Lez at Menlo. But when i got there, i thought i was late (which i was like 10 minutes) and lez was like "yah ghost (Kristine) made me wait and i felt lonely" and i was like "awwww, i won't do that" but since it took my dad a bajillion years to get home, i didn't get to leave as early as i wanted. So anyway, i got there and Lez wasn't there yet (thank god.. i'd rather wait than have her wait, y'kno?) and i went to get a drink from Gloria Jean's (a coffee place at Menlo.. kinda like Nancy's but not) i went in and there were two asian guys behind the counter and the one at the register just kept staring me. i was like "um.." he was kinda cute tho ^_____^ so then i bought a white mocha mousse (they are SO good *drooooool*) and headed back out to wait for lez. She came after a few minutes and i was like "heeeyyyyyy" i literally haven't chilled with Lez since before kristine left and that is a LONG ASS time ago (i think it was sometime during last school year? or something??) The last time we chilled, we went to Norebang and hung out. LOL, it was so funny cuz there was this hot korean guy there and she made this face at him when she walked by and kinda bent her knee looking at him and it reminded me SO MUCH of govan it was CRAZY. But that was really funny. And the guy behind the counter saw her and he was laughing. LOL, and then the guy goes into the room we were in and is like "is this someone's umbrella?" and it was lez's LOL. She had the BIGGEST smile on her face when she went to go get it lol. so anyway, yay, so she came and we hung out. The first store we went to was Suncoast cuz i was looking for the But I'm A Cheerleader DVD BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE IT. every single store in Menlo didn't have the DVD. i was gonna shoot myself in the head. So anyway, we walked around the mall for like forever and a day and talked about random things. It was definitely fun. So then after Menlo, we wanted to go to pines. So the plan was for me to follow Lez her way to Pines. But i got stuck at a red light and she was gone. So i went straight to Pines my own way. And i got there and i didn't see her car and i was freaking out. I was like "oh no, what if she went back to Menlo or is just waiting there for me to show up?" or something dumb and irrelevant. And i sat there and paniced for like a year. And to make things worse. There was this hot korean guy who has a NICE ASS CAR and he pulled into the space like a few from mine and he had met up with another guy with a car really similar but the other guy was old :P so anyway, i called govan and blabbered to her about how i was like freaking out that lez wasn't there. And then finally she showed up and i was like "yaayyyyy" so we walk into Pines and guess who was there! Kelvin n Roz. oh yah, i forgot to mention that i told my dad i was going to Edison to meet up with Lez like 40 minutes before i had to leave and he was like "who's Lez? oh! she was at the cotillion right?" and i told him yes tho she wasn't there and i think he was actually thinking of Roz. So anyway, i said hi to them and then we went to get a table. So like always i say Anyounghaesaeyo to the korean guy who works at the counter and he always smiles since he knows i'm not korean and says it back so as a joke he says anyounghaesaeyo to lez but he didn't kno she was a korean music buff. So she goes anyounghaesaeyo back and he gasped and he was like O.O and he was like "you kno korean?" and she was like "only a little.. just a few words" cuz Lez is SO not asian looking.. and then when he gave her the pool balls, she was like "kahmsahamnida" and he gasped again. it was SO funny. LOL so anyway, we played pool for a while. I won two games yaaayyyy ^_____^ i was actually playing decent. But then Lez won the last one. allg. Kelvz n Roz said bye and that we should plan another reunion.. iunno when tho ><;; so anyway hrm.. after that we went to this Pizza place where this 40-year-old guy was hitting on us. --;; we went up and ordered pizza and then he was talking to us about how people shouldn't wear color contacts if they know it doesn't look natural and that it compares to how men wear toupee's and then he was like "i was young once too y'kno" and he asked me how old i was and he was like "what, 21-22?" and i was like "noooo.. 18" and he was like "oh okay" and then he was like "i wouldn't be hitting on you girls though you're both lovely but i'm 40-years-old and i have a 15-year-old daughter.. i wouldn't hit on 20 year old girls." and i was thinking "well, we weren't really thinking you were hitting on us so why did you mention hitting on us?" -_-;; even old guys are idiots.. so anyway, so anyway, we ate the pizza and then we were like "we're having weird run-ins with old guys today" so then i looked through Lez's planner and stuff and she has a bajillion pics of Kang Ta in there. her planner is awesome tho i luv it. Mine's like crap compared to hers. So anyway, she said she might initiate me into the 36 moons as Akio, the guy who gets plastic surgery and tries to leave his old life behind.. his symbol is the phoenix. I think it's actually really cool because he does symbolize me in a lot of ways. Akio always tried to live up to his mom's standards and when she was gone, he became what he really wanted to be and got plastic surgery to become a completely different person. I think i'm kinda the same way. I used to do everything the way my parents wanted it and now i have my own beliefs and i'm dieting an exercising cuz i want to be a new person. and i do think i have changed physically and emotionally. It's actually pretty cool. So anyway, after that i went home. Govan had told me that all the guys were meeting up at Cornerstone Cafe and so i sped home to meet them. I got home in 20 minutes. Now a 35 minute drive in 20 minutes is like.. AMAZING. I must not have hit under 60 the entire way home but i was lucky i didn't get pulled over. I saw three cop cars pull over one car ><;; so anyway, i got to the cafe and called my dad and told him i was there. I was lucky that he didn't mind. So we hung out there and talked about random things and insulted people like we always do. Then we decided to go to Vanessa's house but we went to the mall first to pick up her sister first. So i got there and pulled into a spot. Then i saw this girl pulling into a spot like a few cars down from me and she HITS the car next to her and scratches up the side and i'm like "holy shit!" and these guys that were passing were like "oh shit! did you see that? that girl just hit the car!" so she pulls out and drives away and i was like O.O i just witnessed a hit and run. And i was like "OMG.." and all the guys around me were like "oh shit, i'm glad i didn't park there" it was SO bad. so we got inside and we walked around the mall for a while and then we left. The plan was for all of us to follow Vanessa back home some odd way so we pull out of the mall parking lot. But for the second time Saturday, i got caught at a red light and lost the person i was following so i turned around and went on 9 (thank god i had govan in the car with me tho or else i woulda been screwed) so anyway, we finally got to Vanessa's house. I hung out there till like 11:30 and then i had to come home. My dad didn't care. So that was pretty much my Saturday.. goes to show that if you know the way somewhere but ur friend wants u to follow them another way that you don't kno... just go the way you know. It saves you a lot of time.

so anyway, the whole encounter with the 40-year-old man at the pizza place near Pines made me start thinking.. he was like "so how old are you anyway? like 21-22?" and i'm sitting there thinking about how off he is but the entire world is probably thinking the same thing. including gym guy. I mean, i sit here and i stress out so much about how i can't talk to him but what happens when i do talk to him? will he care that i'm only 18 and a senior in high school?? i can't even go to a good club or have a drink... what will he think? He prolly doesn't think that i'm 18.. he prolly thinks i'm like 20 or 21 like that old guy said.. but what happens when he finds out i'm not??? i keep thinking about it. Thinking about exactly what's gonna happen. I'm gonna talk to him and we're gonna be so cool with each other and then i tell him my age and he's like "what?" and he's like "i'm sorrie. i thought you were older".. and i imagine myself just crying because of it because to me, age doesn't matter but to him it might make a huge difference. ... ugh.. god, how is it possible that a TOTAL stranger can cause this much stress? it's like... crazy and stupid. BLAH. aright, i'm done cuz i have homework n stuff..

2002-01-31T22:47:00.000-05:00

.:: a whole lot of nothing ::.

that title really has nothing to do with the entry but i thought it sounded cool. So yah, things are definitely better and i got my "friend" (for the dense, my period) today which explains my emotional unbalance that i experienced last weekend. stupid PMS. So anyway, yah. School's okay. Mr. Palmer is interesting but i feel bad cuz he has a lotta pet peaves and everyone kinda just ignores them :P sheppy's still the same. There was a full out confrontation in History today. Kelly Davott decided to get into a verbal fist fight with Egan. She quote "couldn't work because we were talking so loud and apparantly "everytime [Egan] spoke, it made [her] head explode" SO, that didn't blow over too well. Egan tried to act like he wasn't phased. Personally, i think he was. poor kid, i luv him. So anyway, let's see.. so yah, i'm doing service for both Mrs. Sanecki and Mrs. Sharpe. it's crazy. I get to go to AP Bio on Tuesdays and on Thursdays i go to art. LOL. god, there's just Enciso all around. ugh, i still hafta do english homework.. kill me. I hate palmer for giving us work. BLAH. Hrm.. drama was fun today. We actually got a lot done. It was crazy. We learned a lot of one song and then we learned the dance. It was cool. I talked to one of the leads that i thought didn't like me very much and my singing was top notch today. it was some good times. Then i went home and watched some TV. I went to the gym and gym guy was there. Normally i just see him and it's cool but today it was slightly different. I got to the gym and i was slightly blah cuz i found out that i left my batteries for my discman at home and i had no battery left in my cellphone. i was extremely electronic-less and it felt extremely weird just walking out of the locker room with only a bottled water. So i get out there. On the way into the locker room, i saw gym guy playing b-ball. I started my little work out and noticed that the guys were staring at me more (i wore this shirt today that makes my stomach look flat and my boobs look bigger :P i figured, what the hell, i might as well *hey, that rhymes*)... and then i see that gym guy came in from b-ball and he was juss doing his thing. I watched him from the corner of my eye a few times careful trying not to let him catch me staring. I rushed through my machines. I didn't wanna stay that long cuz i had forgotten my discman at home. toward the end tho, i got this feeling that he was following me. Iunno, normally we exercise pretty far apart. he's usually on the other end of the room or something and i never really get too close to him. But today, he walked by me like 5 times and each time i was SO close to him, like 3/4 a foot away from him and UGH, i coulda talked to him SO many times and it frustrates me that i didn't. so anyway, i'd go on these machines and then he'd go on one relatively close to me that he usually doesn't go on and then i went on one where i hafta stand and push down and there were a buncha really immature white kids next to me and they were all like babbling about stupid stuff and i turned around to stretch and to get away from them and he was right there behind me on a machine really similar to mine.. ugh. he is SO beautiful.. idunno. It felt like he was trying to talk to me but i just like ignored him (GOD, WHY AM I A LOSER)... *smacks myself in the head* ugh.. so yah, i left the gym early since i didn't wanna go on the treadmill without a discman. I WISH I TALKED TO HIM SOOOO BADLY. OMG. i'm gonna go like bang my head against a wall for an hour now.. blah :P

2002-01-29T22:14:00.000-05:00

i hate this thing. It never ever works and i lose my entries CONSTANTLY. Christ. So anyway, yah. I'm a patient person. I'm gonna attempt to type the whole thing over again... here's the entry that was SUPPOSED to be up:

.:: things are slowly getting better ::.

I'm slowly recovering from my brief mental break-down. i think my emotions have thinned though i'm still slightly emotional. Things can't rest easy. Hopefully things will be back to normal soon. So anyway, school today wasn't all that bad tho i spent most of it on my Palm V. First period was okay. Mr. Smith, my religion teacher, talked for over an hour about his life and how God is so important to him. Personally, i think he's just in love with himself. A narcisstic religion teacher. who knew? Second period was fine. Third, i spent on my palm again though i'm supposed to be paying attention in Calc. Fourth period was once again a wonderful encounter with my Palm Pilot but atleast people were being extra nice to me. I don't know why. Allg. So anyway, let's see. drama wasn't too bad today. I was actually talking to people besides like Shannon, Jamie and Tony. Brandon was being extra nice to me. It was cool. So anyway, after drama, i went home and headed straight for the gym. It was the usual, me just stumbling around from machine to machine trying to avoid the big buff guys who keep looking at me when they pass. --;; gym guy was there. and its always good to see him. All my friends are like "go talk to him! Go talk to him!" and i'm like "uhhhh, i'll try" but then he always comes with some guyfriend and i don't wanna go up to them and give off the impression of "hi, i'm a desperate sexually frustrated high school student. Please pay attention to me." oh well... i think that's it

that was a really uninsightlful version of the first entry i wrote and i left out a lotta good stuff about guys and hormones but hey, i'm too lazy and i'm tired as hell and it's all this friggins server's fault!

2002-01-28T22:03:00.000-05:00

.:: blah ::.

well, today wasn't a barrel full of laughs. Yesterday, i spent prolly an hour or two writing out an entry about how i cried two nights ago. But for some reason, i got signed off this thing and i wasn't able to save it. I lost the whole entry. So anyway, yah. To put it plain and simple. I cried two nights ago like really really hard cuz i felt lonely. I miss my friends that i haven't seen since cotillion and i'm getting mad that either no one cares about the plans i make or that no one can make it. I was also sad that i didn't have a boyfriend or even a love interest to comfort me since i was all alone. Everyone in the world seems to have one except for me. Not anyone's fault but hey, i'm still here by myself. ALso got a lil mad cuz Dale n Austin didn't invite me for Trina and Dale "6-month anniversary" shindig. Y'know, cuz i wrote out a whole blog entry about how i miss my friends and that i wished i could see them so bad and how neither of them showed up at my party but they didn't think twice to invite me to hang out. I thought it was just gonna be dinner with Dale n Trina. Found out that Austin, Quel, and Yan were there and they watched a movie about Filipino-Americans. I can just feel the sting when i hear all the inside jokes the next time we chill, if we ever do. To add to that, me n Trina were supposedly gonna chill, go to her cousin Alfred's house, watch Seven and do other stuff but that didn't happen. And then i was planning on playing pool at Pines with Rice but Ice couldn't and JD had to go to a birthday party. OH, to make things even better. On the saturday that i totally felt like shit on, i found out that all of my other friends went to see an improv in red bank and now its some big inside joke thing that i have no idea what they're talking about. Meanwhile i laid at home in my bed and cried for 2 hours wishing that i had someone to talk to, hugging the Build-A-Bear that J gave me and staring at the moving picture of a waterfall that the cotillioners. I stayed up till around 7AM. This weekend was crap. Sunday, I cried again while i was writing the blog entry but then i lost the whole fucking thing. Then i cried on the phone with Trina because i couldn't it back anymore and pretty much blabbed out exactly what i was gonna write in the previous entry. Somehow even though i let all of it out, it didn't help me. I stayed up till around 5 AM and had to wake up for school around 6:30. Slept for 45 minutes at the most, got up, went to school. At first, i thought i was fine. I thought that all the stupid feelings had passed but then the whole improv thing came. By third period, i found out i have a C+ in AP Calculus because my retard fuck teacher decided he wants to grade us on a regular scale rather than an AP scale. That kicks me off Honor Roll and probably ruins all chances of me getting into BU. At the end of the day, I spent all of drama crooning over how i don't know anyone, which i don't. I kinda just stand there by myself and feel like a retard cuz i'm sure if me n Costa were still on good terms, i would be having the TIME OF MY LIFE. But since things are awkward, i'm just gonna stand in the corner with Jamie Sanecki and complain about how unorganized and un-fun the whole thing is. Then, i went to the gym and i didn't see gym guy. FUCKING SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD.. christ.. it's funny when u notice that all the sadness somehow turns to uncontrollable rage. i really need to get to an arcade. Shoot some zombies or something. if you're reading this and ur thinking, "ew, enciso's a bitch".. "ew, enciso's being insensitive about this"... "ew, enciso doesn't even kno my side"... "aw, i feel bad that enciso's life sux" just keep in mind that i'm in a fucking mood swing, i don't make logical sense, i have no fucking emotion towards anyone else's feelings right now, and these things don't last long.

2002-01-27T17:55:00.000-05:00

.:: my new blog ::.

pitas.com was just being a pain in the ass. The server is down constantly and i can't even get onto my account so i just decided to transfer over here. It's not that big a difference anyway.